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"this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata" (fantastic-mr-foxbody) 08/06/2015 at 00:50 • Filed to: Oppo Adwatch, Equus Automotive

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EQUUS AUTOMOTIVE, Inc., maker of as many as 20 whole cars, is now running a rather strange five minute YouTube ad that strongly resembles the first five minutes of a porno shot by the Petrolicious production crew. The ad features EQUUS’s $250,000 ‘68 Mustang look-a-like, which you’d think was just a weird restomod but is actually all new, called BASS770.

Petrolicious’s director’s porn-stached doppelgänger was clearly influenced by such renowned pieces of cinema as the original Wizard of Oz , as evident in the black and white opening seequence’s transition into a full color second act (the act 99% of the viewing audience will not see, having skipped the ad minutes ago), in which the entire EQUUS BASS770 is actually visible, and in which the actual action and entertainment occurs.

The crack team of targeted advertising experts at EQUUS AUTOMOTIVE, inc. are clearly at the top of their game, spending precious advertising dollars where it counts—the rollin’ in the dough demographic of people who watch videos on building RC airplanes out of dollar store foam board and hot glue.

Here is the entire ad, but if you can’t be bother to watch it, I have carefully outlined the key points below (trying not to spoil the gripping plot).

Things you will be able to do if you purchase/sit in/exist in the presence of the EQUUS BASS770, according to this advertisement:

Pretend to be Bruce Wayne during a traffic stop.

Be pretty in the passenger seat.

Check the fit of your tear-away cop costume in the mirror-finish deep gloss paint.

Own a Louis Vuitton bag, put it in the trunk.

Wonder why someone replaced your LS9 with a quilt.

Be American.

Have a badge that says EQUUS.

Go around corners in a ‘Classic American Muscle Car’ without falling over.

Terrify innocent road workers.

Hide in the shadows and look dramatic but also serene even though the guy driving the car thinks he’s Chris Harris.

Drive through the hood and try not to get car jacked.

Be an action movie stereotype.

Be angry at, about, or near an open car door.

Make tire smoke in front of private planes.

Shoop > this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata 08/06/2015 at 01:02

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FP quality write up

Milky > this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata 08/06/2015 at 01:03

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2 points to add:

Registration probably says Mustang on it.

I may or may have not stolen a stop sign a block away from where that doughnut took place.

this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata > Shoop 08/06/2015 at 01:10

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awshucks.jpg

PushToStart > this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata 08/06/2015 at 01:45

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Looks exactly like they just ripped this badge of the back of a Hyundai Equus. The font is almost identical.

this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata > PushToStart 08/06/2015 at 01:49

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Hahaha wouldn’t surprise me if they just order them from Hyundai.

PushToStart > this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata 08/06/2015 at 01:51

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Also, this car looks like what the people who design GTA cars would make if they wanted an in-game version of a classic Fastback Mustang.

georgechristensen > this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata 08/06/2015 at 02:47

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$250k is a lot for a Hyundai

desertdog5051 > this is not matt farah's foxbodymiata 08/06/2015 at 03:57

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Very cool. I knew of them but have never seen their web stuff. Thanks.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > PushToStart 08/06/2015 at 07:04

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And then went to Pep Boys and got the stick on letters for the BASS lettering.

This car is bad even by Chinese standards.

jmalek > Milky 08/06/2015 at 08:13

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The whole car is new construction, if anything it would say Corvette based on the drivetrain and similar chassis.

Milky > jmalek 08/06/2015 at 09:16

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You say that but this is still a Lotus, no matter how much LS they shove in it.

The Equus might have a new Mustang chassis, but it still has a Mustang chassis.

jmalek > Milky 08/06/2015 at 09:25

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It’s not a mustang chassis

Milky > jmalek 08/06/2015 at 09:31

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Wait. They go through the trouble of all of that and still use Mustang body panels?!

I dislike Equus more now.

I’ll definitely concede though, I thought they used one of these:

jmalek > Milky 08/06/2015 at 10:14

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Thats what I thought at first too, but then they were at the 2014 or 2015 NAIAS with the bare chassis and I couldn’t believe it. They also had engineers there answering questions, and they stated that only the wear and DOT compliance items were off the shelf components, and every single other piece is custom made for them. I can totally see the price tag for having a vehicle bespoke built and designed as this one is, but I can never see spending that much on something that looks like a Mustang and a Barracuda had a love child with some Camaro pieces thrown in.

PushToStart > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! 08/06/2015 at 14:28

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I wouldn't say the whole car is bad, but the badges are shite.