F1 teams explained using cow economics

"415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)" (415s30)
08/05/2015 at 22:10 • Filed to: F1, Cows

Mercedes: You have two cows, the bank of Germany pays for them to be engineered to produce the most milk and be as efficient as possible

Red Bull: You have two cows which are actually bulls and produce no milk due to mad Renault disease

Toro Rosso: You have two calves. Neither are old enough to produce milk

Ferrari: You have two cows which are actually horses. They produce barely any milk nowadays but are still the prettiest

Lotus: You have two cows. Both are unhealthy but the milkmaids pay millions for the privilege of milking them. The milking is done badly and the farmer tweets about it

Williams: You have two cows which form part of a happy and family friendly petting zoo

Sauber: you have two cows and five milkmaids all insisting the farmer promised it was their turn to milk them.

Force India: you have two cows, all the state-of-the-art milking equipment, professional milkmaids and still for some reason can’t make enough milk to get by so join a committee to change the milk quotas

McLaren: In an attempt to create a super-cow that produces infinite milk you create a new breed. It doesn’t work and now you are stuck with two slow sad cows

Manor Marussia: you have two goats that you try to disguise as cows

DISCUSSION (10)

Brian, The Life of > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
08/05/2015 at 22:14

I am finally fluent in F1. Bless you!

Viggen > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
08/05/2015 at 22:24

Brilliant. Think you can do it with LMP1?

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
08/05/2015 at 22:33

Is “milk” analogous to “wins” or “points”?

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
08/05/2015 at 22:36

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
08/06/2015 at 00:35

I would say their capacity for success in all areas, even drivers personally.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Viggen
08/06/2015 at 00:36

I’m not sure I know all the players very well. I enjoy a some WEC but I’m no expert.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero
08/06/2015 at 00:37

Nobody wants a Manor, they want a prancing horse!

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero
08/06/2015 at 00:38

But I like goats :(

hsv > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
08/06/2015 at 07:29

Audi: You have two cows, with an occasional third, which are all unnervingly robotic in their milk production. None of the milkmaids are really likable.

Porsche: You have two cows, with an occasional third, along with big-name milkmaids mixed with young guns. Their milk production is hindered by udder issues, but on a good day they produce gallons of the stuff without fail.

Toyota: You have two cows, both of which are solid and super reliable in producing milk, but they don’t quite produce as much as you’d expect. The milkmaids do their job, but you slightly forget they’re even there.

Nissan: You have two, occasionally three cows, all of which are genetically engineered to dominate the industry. Unfortunately, some product mis-selling meant the chemicals didn’t quite work, so it’s a miracle the cows are even alive at all. The farmer and milkmaid all put a cheery face on though, and they’re gradually eking more milk out.

Rebellion: A rich farmer who likes watches decided to buy two cows, both of which are his own hand-picked selections. The cows aren’t on the level of the ones from the big companies, but they generally produce a reasonable amount of milk with some decent milkmaids.

CLM: One cow bought with Colin’s Laundered Money. When they got it home, they realised it had several debilitating disabilities. It’s unable to produce any milk. They still go out and try for some reason, though.

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
08/06/2015 at 07:54

Astounding work