Customer stereotypes in my life based on cars

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 07/10/2015 at 00:45 • Filed to: Hmm

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They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. But (logical) stereotyping is a natural way to cope with social situations. For example, I won’t be driving through downtown Tacoma with a confederate flag on my fender. I also use this at work because it’s amusing how a car can be a window into someone’s mind.

I work in the Seattle area. I am surrounded by yuppies, wannabe yuppies, and the rest of us. Here are my observations after 5 years at my current job, where I deal with hundreds of customers each month, that I maybe meet face to face two or three times max with the exception of a dozen or so people.

- ‘90s Chevy pickup: down to earth, receptive, friendly. Bonus if base cab and long bed.

- any suburban or Yukon: successful but still respectful. Spends more on their home than their car.

- Buick: ... old white couple. The husband usually still just old enough to be unpleasant and abrasive. Wife old enough to be chiefly concerned with diffusing all conflicts.

- Porsche Cayenne: young, condesceding, looks down on you, wanted a 911 but their wife said hell no.

- X5: Fuck. Young lady with zero percent body fat, dog in her purse, big sunglasses, etc. Don’t give one shit about you. My heart SINKS when I see these pull up in a driveway.

- F350: friendly, also Christian and anti-gun control, exceedingly wealthy, they actually mow their own lawn.

- newer F150: new money, mid 30s or early 40s, seems to struggle with their social standing as they try to break through upper middle class.

- Range Rover, HSE, or Ecsalade: never more than 2 kids so as not to utlitize their full size SUV, usually richrichrich and from rich roots but very friendly.

- 325i: usually someone whose car us nicer than the apartment they rent out on the outskirts of Kirkland.

- any real Porsche: older guy, friendly, chatty

- LandCruiser or LX: very well-off couple with multiple vehicles, usually own multiple homes including one on a Lake somewhere, still very friendly and prone to humorous back and forth banter.

- Volvo wagons: sweet older couple, make good money but are conservative with spending.

Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/10/2015 at 00:52

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Where I live, in East Coast suburbia, truck owners are either honest folks who earn an honest living through hard work, or are complete fucking cretins. Usually the latter in my experience.

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/10/2015 at 00:59

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The X5 reference is spot on plus the newer F150. I feel like the F150 is less about a truck but more about having four doors and a tiny bed for that occasional trip to Home Depot.

BReLp7dzHM3ytYsE > Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed 07/10/2015 at 01:00

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Probably depends on how far from stock the truck is, right?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed 07/10/2015 at 01:00

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Yeah for me, a Ford pickup has the highest variation. Specifically: F350: good. F150: not so good. Raptor: typically not positive and the truck itself never taken off road and cleaner than a dentist’s gums...

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 07/10/2015 at 01:03

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Yes! You know too much. That’s the other thing: when it is a new F150 it’s almost always a crew cab with a non-manly bed. They are usually provided by whatever company owns the housing development and not the driver.

GUYMANDUDE > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/10/2015 at 01:04

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Truck people. Total dushbags. Always want to race you if you are in a fast car. No, your Road princess truck is not fast and I’m on my way to a real track.

My car is nicer than my apartment, and its an M car. Your right there. My daily is a civic cx though. Racing seats and harnesses are uncomfortable.

desertdog5051 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/10/2015 at 01:17

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What a great description. You and I think alike.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/10/2015 at 01:18

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Literally the polar opposite for trucks down in Southern Florida!

someassemblyrequired > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/10/2015 at 01:20

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You forgot Audi drivers: RED ALERT/DEFCON 1

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/10/2015 at 01:20

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The 3 series here has become the new Accord. Pay for the badge but couldn’t get Barrier Benz to sell you a base c-class.

Also I’m shopping Yukons once my kid gets here.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 07/10/2015 at 01:28

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Oh Lawd. When I see a black dealer plate frame that says “BARRIER, ” I scream internally.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! 07/10/2015 at 01:29

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Everything is opposite in Florida!

smobgirl > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/10/2015 at 09:37

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- Range Rover, HSE, or Ecsalade: never more than 2 kids so as not to utlitize their full size SUV, usually richrichrich and from rich roots but very friendly.

My neighborhood is full of Escalades...around here, it usually means poorpoorpoor and there are 20+ people sharing their house. I don't get it.

Ross Kraz > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 07/10/2015 at 09:43

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Interesting. Anytime I see a regular cab truck with a long box, I immediately think "inbreeder". Bonus points if it has a cap on the box.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > smobgirl 07/10/2015 at 12:21

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Like I said, this is a customer analysis only. Meaning all these people have some form of excessive money.