Amy Schumer can catch the D

"Bytemite" (bytemite) 06/04/2015 at 23:50 • Filed to: None

5

40

I stumbled upon a Jezebel coverage of this “news”. Apparently, comedian Amy Schumer thinks it is hard to find guys who want to have sex with a famous, blonde, slightly overweight (but within the normal, healthy region) chick.

First of all, how is this news? And why is the Jezebel commentary filled with all sorts of people congregating into an internet choir of hallelujah? I read the comments and NONE of them mention anything about how easy it is for a woman, especially a woman like her, to “catch d*ck”. It’s just all about “Oh my god I’m 200 lbs and I can catch the D too!” or “Oh my god I love her! She’s got so much talent to find men who want to have sex with her because that is soooo hard!”

Would it be news if Adam Levine or (insert any hot guy) said in an interview that he is 180+ lbs and can score tail whenever he wants?

No one would be celebrating this new-found revealing of such god-given talent, frankly because it’s not surprising, and we’re not impressed.

...

Okay, we might be a little impressed.

NeedForSwede > Bytemite 06/04/2015 at 23:54

0

She’s funny and she made a joke

Uug > Bytemite 06/04/2015 at 23:57

4

Yeah I don’t get it either...I’m pretty sure most women can “catch a dick” relatively easily but ok...

TheHondaBro > Uug 06/05/2015 at 00:01

1

If they’re outfielders, then maybe.

For Sweden > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 00:03

5

She’s overweight?

At least she has found self-worth in her weight and dick-catching abilities*

*I know she meant it as a joke, but usually her jokes are funny, and this wasn’t

For Sweden > TheHondaBro 06/05/2015 at 00:03

1

Outfielders that don’t play for the Sox (either Sox)

Milky > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 00:05

1

I think her point is its NOT hard for her to catch a dick, even though she isn’t “hollywood thin”.

And no it wouldn’t be news if a slightly overweight guy said it because this is still a thing.

Bytemite > For Sweden 06/05/2015 at 00:06

0

Yeah I’m just really appalled at how big a deal this is to the Jezebel community and how they somehow find all sorts of meaning behind this.

And 160 lb for a girl is kind of on the heavy side of healthy. Nothing against it i that floats your boat but just not mine.

For Sweden > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 00:11

5

She’s one pound overweight. A good dump and she’ll be in the healthy range. Also, she may do squats.

Bytemite > Milky 06/05/2015 at 00:12

0

But then the joke isn’t really funny. Because she is just stating the obvious. It isn’t obvious to Jezebel though.

lone_liberal > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 00:13

2

The point is that in the real world she is an attractive woman who has no problem getting guys, but in Hollywood they consider her grossly overweight and too old. It’s all about the warped view that Hollywood has of women. See also her Last Fuckable Day skit.

Bytemite > For Sweden 06/05/2015 at 00:15

2

159 or 160, no difference. Still too fat. Don’t want a hippo like that riding shotgun and ruining my fuel economy now, amiright?

itranthelasttimeiparkedit > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 00:18

2

I’d let her catch my dick if you know what i mean

Agrajag > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 00:29

3

Milky > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 00:31

2

I’m sure you’ve heard “its funny because its true”.

Thats whats going on. She also said someone asked her on the red carpet if “she feels out of place” in hollywood. And later jokes about how woman’s magazines “make you feel bad for having a pussy”.

Im not saying her joke is funny, but she is at least bringing up an issue that should be dealt with because these are real stats.

• 47% of girls in 5th-12th grade reported wanting to lose weight because of magazine pictures.

• Women are much more likely than men to develop an eating disorder. Only an estimated 5 to 15 percent of people with anorexia or bulimia are male.

Bairclaw > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 00:31

0

I don't like anything that comes out of her mouth. Since the first day I saw her on CC.

Bytemite > Agrajag 06/05/2015 at 00:37

1

LOL what a great coincidence.

For Sweden > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 00:41

5

Friends of any size are too heavy. That’s why you never see passengers in Formula 1.

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 00:48

0

Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 00:59

0

To be fair, plenty of 160lb dudes can”can catch the D” whenever they want too.

Bytemite > Milky 06/05/2015 at 01:05

1

Well, idolization of photoshopped bodies on magazine covers is shared by both genders.

The guys aren’t all in the gym right now because it’s so fun. They go there to keep up with the beauty standards that are high for both men and women. The people on magazine covers aren’t on magazine covers to look like anyone off the street. That should be obvious. If teenage girls report wanting to lose weight because of magazine pictures, then teenage boys will report wanting to gain muscle and be ripped because of magazine pictures.

The problem is real, but some of the methods the social justice warriors use is not heading in the right direction. Instead of dealing with the problem of embracing beauty no matter how heavy or light, they go on to shame thin women, some of them just naturally thin. I have seen this happen, and you must have too.

I will always support equality regardless of gender or race, but we can’t just pretend double standards and stereotypes don’t exist. The PCing of our language undermines the very purpose of language. Instead of clearly communicating through meaningful words and sentences that wish to convey one’s idea to a receiver in the clearest way possible, we are now so busy spending our time and vocabulary concealing, blurring, and hiding our opinions and stances behind convoluted, intentionally misleading walls of PC-jargon.

What we know to be true through hard, cold evidence cannot be silenced by the SJWs and the unwavering stances that they take through rose tinted glasses such as liberal college campuses and social media outlets. Believe it or not, these are first-world problems. People are still living in places where starving, being tortured, and fearing for their lives each day is common. These troubles American women are going through are real, but in some minds, it has taken over too much of their perspective.

I will say, without a doubt, that finding a horny guy to take home for the night is easy for a woman. For men, it takes more work, time, and effort. The joke isn’t all that funny because a woman bragging about her ability to get laid is the equivalent of a rich and privileged man bragging about driving a Ferrari. It is something to chase, for many men and maybe even some women. And to joke about it is not just obvious, it is annoying.

In short, if you are overweight, or just heavier than the magazine covers, then just live with it. Or if it bothers you so much, actually put some work into your diet and gym routine. The solution definitely isn’t to be bitter about everything “wrong” with the world and become a SJW.

Textured Soy Protein > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 01:53

4

I am very much not on the Amy Schumer bandwagon. I don’t find her particularly funny, and at this point it seems like news coverage about her is approaching Kardashian levels of saturation.

But this is pretty obvious why people are getting behind her comment.

While she is a generally halfway decent looking person, she is not the prototypical “hot” girl who is pushed out by the media. So by saying she’s 160 lbs but can get as much attention as she wants from dudes, she’s pointing out that women don’t need to fit the prescribed super thin/fit mold in order to get attention from dudes.

In other news, just don’t try to wrap your head around Jezebel comments when it’s obvious you have a different point of view than the commentariat over there. What you doing on there anyway?

Bytemite > Textured Soy Protein 06/05/2015 at 02:01

1

=/ Kinja.

But I want to wrap my head around things I don’t understand. Maybe I will understand and be a more well rounded person/ have more perspective. But they seem to be missing the point that no matter what you weigh, be it 80 lb, 120 lb, or 160 lb, by being a woman, you are bound to succeed in catching D.

I know some people might not feel like they are beautiful if they don’t fit model standards but I think beauty can come from a wide range of sizes. And I also acknowledge that catching D is generally easy for women, fat or skinny.

Simplify, then add beer > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 02:02

2

stumbled upon a Jezebel coverage

Suuuuure you stumbled upon it ;)

E92M3 > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 02:21

0

^this. It’s pretty easy for just about any woman. They might not get their pick, but someone out there will F them.

Toyota Sucks Lots Of Sausages > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 02:24

4

Would it be news if Adam Levine or (insert any hot guy) said in an interview that he is 180+ lbs and can score tail whenever he wants?

Adam Levine does in fact catch lots of dicks

Makoyouidiot > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 03:03

0

Guys are indeed easy. :)

BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 04:24

0

Since when is 11 stone even slightly overweight?

If you’re 4-foot nothing tall I get it but anything above and that’s pretty much perfect/bordering on skinny if you’re taller...

Bytemite > BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires 06/05/2015 at 04:30

1

I dont know her height or bone mass. But she considers herself overweight compared to her peers and that is why she made those comments.
Personally, I like girls in the 100-120 lb range.

Robert Jones > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 05:13

3

So I’m sure as shit not gonna read Jezebel comments.

But Amy Schumer is hilarious and adorable.

I don’t understand how people can be impressed by her getting laid, but a lot of ladies have real fucked up self image. Like a normal magazine is “make this motorized pedal bike, make this software, make this robot, make this music, make this hallucinogen, make this mud truck” and the ‘lady’ magazines are like “be this lady, be that lady.”

I couldn’t read that shit. Who I am is the process of my life. So maybe ladies should stop reading that trash and watch Amy Schumer or read Psychology Today.

Bytemite > Robert Jones 06/05/2015 at 05:26

0

Trash magazines man. Everywhere.

LongbowMkII > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 07:00

0

Instead of dealing with the problem of embracing beauty no matter how heavy or light, they go on to shame thin women, some of them just naturally thin. I have seen this happen, and you must have too.

yup. that’s the problem.

samssun > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 07:19

1

Are you really appalled? A large part of their rabid movement boils down to unattractive girls demanding the privileges attractive ones get, which of course will never happen. They flipped out over the pill being less effective for obese women like it was a patriarchy conspiracy, instead of the fact that a drug calibrated for 1 person doesn’t work as well on 1.5.

samssun > Milky 06/05/2015 at 07:21

0

Given the obesity epidemic and all its related problems, why in the world should we pick the miniscule number of people that are too skinny to focus on while trying to normalize morbid obesity?

Wacko > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 07:30

1

Yeah, this is a first, women making a big deal about nothing.

Nobi > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 07:50

0

Yeah I’m just really appalled at how big a deal this is to the Jezebel community and how they somehow find all sorts of meaning behind this.
I’m just really appalled at how big a deal this is to the Jezebel community
how big a deal this is to the Jezebel community
the Jezebel community

I rest my case. For the most part, that’s kinda what they do. Some female says something pro-feminism, and regardless of how wrong the statement may actually be, they pick up their banners and rally to the cry of “yay feminism.” Just ignore it.

Party-vi > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 08:59

3

Bitches about women being able to get guys to fuck them so easily

Literally says she’s “too fat” and you “don’t want a hippo riding shotgun”

Milky > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 09:13

0

Yea we’re gonna disagree here then. Yes there are many places and many people that have it way worse than people in the first world, but that doesnt you don’t do anything about what is wrong here. And yes males have body issues too from media’s ideal body image. But woman still account for 85-95% of the eating disorders, so clearly its plagues that gender worse.

Also IMHO she didn’t shame any thin woman and her whole point was to embrace average beauty. In regards to:

Instead of dealing with the problem of embracing beauty no matter how heavy or light, they go on to shame thin women, some of them just naturally thin. I have seen this happen, and you must have too.

Milky > samssun 06/05/2015 at 09:28

0

You confuse me. The point is to not idealize (focus on) the “miniscule number of people that are too skinny” …. but also not normalize morbid obesity.

160lbs is not morbidly obese, but is still “Hollywood fat”.

WiscoProud > Bytemite 06/05/2015 at 11:41

0

I read the article. That's not what she was saying at all. She was saying that even being categorized as overweight, she has "no problem catching a dick whenever she wants."

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Uug 06/16/2015 at 17:57

0

pretty much just spread you legs and some one will fall in. Girls got it easy. than again sex seems to be, not the only thing they think about. Still not fully comprehending that one.