I don't want to race you...

"Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing." (granfury)
06/02/2015 at 10:22 • Filed to: None

There are only a few places where the use of full-throttle can be used without getting into too much trouble, my favorite being long onramps. Every now and again I like to wind out my engine in multiple gears, shifting at redline, just for the heck of it. Harmless fun. With the right engine it can sound nice and make you feel like you’re going fast without putting yourself or others at risk. But last night I ran into insecure micro-phallus who wanted to make it a race or something.

The onramp was rather long, starting out as three lanes, merging down to two and finally one. I floored the mighty Mazda5 6MT, letting all 157 horses gallop at full strength. In the process I passed a Challenger or Charger or whatever the hell it was (I can never remember which is which). He did not take kindly to that, illegally crossed over multiple solid white lines that separate the onramp from the freeway and then got back in front of me as I eased into the right lane at normal highway speed. Ooh, wow, I’m impressed - your mighty V8 spanked a packed, low-power minivan and you imposed your will upon me. Whatever, dude, your manhood is intact. I guess that by now I should know my place on the road, and such place is obviously behind such alpha males as this clown.

DISCUSSION (30)

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 10:29

Kinja'd!!!

OPPOsaurus WRX > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 10:30

Kinja'd!!!

Brickman > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 10:32

I know that feeling. Some just can’t stand a 19 year old van passing their 2015 super dooper car. What’s funnier is when they can’t pass me up :D

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 10:33

I hate people who try to race me. It seems like everyone in a 350/370 or Genesis tries to race me in my BRZ. Sometimes repeatedly when it should be apparent that I’m not biting. Sorry, I already know that you’ll beat me in a straight line with more power. Meet me at the track and we’ll see who actually knows how to put it down.

TheHondaBro > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 10:33

Challenger has two doors, Charger has four, unless they were the older models.

thebigbossyboss > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 10:34

Lol. Reminds me of the time someone tried to race my Cavalier in their newish Benz with a big V8. You gonna win 10/10 times bro. Don’t worry i know.

Svend > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 10:35

Always makes me laugh when people do this. That’s one of the reasons a colleague wants rid of his Skoda Fabia Mk1 vRS. Its a little pocket rocket but he just likes the car, but others see him and always want to challenge him to a race and when he flat out refuses they start playing stupid games, one nearly resulting in the other car pulling tight in front of him as they were looking and trying to goad him and not looking at the large postal truck coming towards them. Nearly took out his car and his new born daughter which really shook him up.

Azrek > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 10:41

I had this issue all the time in my E92 M3. No, I am not interested in racing your Civic with a tuba horn on the exhaust. I am just gonna cruise here at whatever speed I want.

However one time, one idiot on a long bridge kept egging on another car to race and when there was enough of a gap, I went inbetween both of them at Mach 4 and waved. Leave em alone...

Funktheduck > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 10:43

I do the on ramp thing too. It’s rare that I get to because of traffic but so much fun when successful.

I don't run into the small penis crowd as often as I did when I had my Corolla. Guys, especially in trucks, couldn't fathom a small car passing them.

As Du Volant > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 10:46

I drive cars from the used car lot at work, and for the past couple weeks I’ve been driving a 2013 Mitsubishi Lancer which I grabbed because it’s a stick and decent on gas. It’s a GT so it’s got a modest body kit and a decently sized wing. The second day I was driving it some bro in a WRX tried to get me to race him. Twice.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Svend
06/02/2015 at 10:47

Similar things would happen when I was driving the 968. All sorts of assholes revving up at red lights next to me, demanding to prove their racing skills and show off all the power they bought (and never use) - Volvo turbos were the worst for this. Whatever, guys. Unlike that asshat in the Dodge yesterday, I knew I could crush almost anyone that came up against me, yet I had absolutely no desire to prove it.

If you’re not a prick, there can be a certain peace of mind that comes when driving a powerful and expensive car, and you can actually relax and enjoy it instead of viewing everyone else as a threat.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 10:47

2.3L of furry unleashed up the road!

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > thebigbossyboss
06/02/2015 at 10:48

Friend of mine did bite on some guy with something similar—can’t remember exactly what it was... and bit hard. He had a Cobalt SS (the early, supercharged one) and cleaned up. It’s pretty funny when the instigator gets blown away by something they marked down as easy meat... :)

Svend > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 10:49

So true. A decent person knows what their car can do but better still knows where and when is safe to use it and able to restrain themselves when all those around them are being dicks.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
06/02/2015 at 10:50

Don’t short me those last two tenths of a liter! 2.5, baby, 2.5...

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 10:57

Wait for the Skyactive to kick in yo!

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
06/02/2015 at 10:58

Sadly, no such beast in the 5 in the US. I get the great combo of low power and low fuel economy.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 11:02

I think it’s a thing with guys in muscle cars. I was in a hurry one day and came upon a Challenger camping in the left lane. I went to pass him on the right (yeah, I know) and he wanted to turn it into a race. I had to back off before we caught the next group of cars. He did this to me three more times before he finally got the hint and moved right so I could pass.

Shankems > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 11:02

On-ramps are my fave part of the day too!

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Shankems
06/02/2015 at 11:05

Exactly. It’s really done in the interest of road safety, minimizing the speed differential between through traffic and those merging.

Destructive Tester > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 11:10

You say that like its a bad thing...

uofime-2 > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 11:23

the loop on ramps are my favorite add decreasing radius for more fun!

yamahog > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 11:26

Drivers of everything from Porsches to shitcan Neons try to race me whether I’m on the bike or in the Camaro. It’s just like JFC, people, get some track time and then we’ll talk, a blind orangutan could drive fast on the flat straight roads we have out here. I just want to get home in one piece and with zero points on my license.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > uofime-2
06/02/2015 at 11:48

Ooh, I’ve got one of those near me, and it’s one of my favorites. However, every time it gets a little slippery there’s always someone that misses that change and flies into the weeds.

I tend to catch up to those ahead of me because they are caught unprepared by the change in radius. I usually give them extra space ahead of me when I’m entering the loop just because I know I’m going to be too close to them at the end if I don’t. I want to have some fun on these, but I don’t want to be an ass and tailgate them when I manage the curve better than they did.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > yamahog
06/02/2015 at 11:54

Exactly -any idiot can go fast in a straight line, but that it takes skill to go fast through corners. That’s where the real fun lies.

uofime-2 > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 11:57

Traffic makes it tough for sure, you do not want to have to hit your brakes coming into the decreasing section, that is a major code brown moment!

Sometimes I commute at 5:30 am, that’s when the hoonage happens

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer
06/02/2015 at 14:37

One vehicle I had back in the ‘80s was a VW Rabbit pickup, plain beige, rolling on steelies. Under the hood was a monster 2.1l engine, and this thing was an absolute screamer in a straight line. I would have fun finding Porsches, BMWs and Mercs to humiliate from light to light. There’s nothing quite like a sleeper for fun.

Later, when I was driving Porsches, BMWs and Mercs I never really felt the need to race. Plus, having driven one myself, I knew to look out for sleepers...

AdverseMartyr > TheRealBicycleBuck
06/02/2015 at 16:55

Well, this is a case of what do you do... stay behind the guy and become part of the problem congesting traffic/ tailgate dangerously so that hopefully he moves over or keep calm and pass on the right illegally without getting high blood pressure from frustration and keep traffic moving as well as you personally can.

Sweet Trav > Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing.
06/02/2015 at 19:15

Uh... Cutting a .500 amateur light or pro light takes some skill. Not that street racing is ever excusable, but to go REALLY fast in a straight line on a track.. does require skill. especially if things get squirelly.

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > Sweet Trav
06/02/2015 at 21:21

Perhaps I was a little harsh in my assessment and not 100% accurate in my quoting of Michael Schumacher. Each form of racing, whether it be drag racing, NASCAR, sports cars, or what have you, has its own set of challenges. Tuning a carburetor and setting stagger for ovals is another set of skills particular to a given type of racing. Me? I get more enjoyment out of road courses, with turns in both directions and frequent use of both brakes and accelerator. In my younger days I would take my GTI out to the canyons and savor a corner well carved, whereas for others that might not be as enjoyable.

As good as that may be, there is still one type of racing that, in my mind, is the ultimate - Rally. Every kind of terrain possible, every type of weather, and very little repetition on the stages. To me it is the ultimate in motorsport.