PSA: Childproof your shit

"Snuze: Needs another Swede" (markg) 04/30/2015 at 09:37 • Filed to: None

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TL;DR - a neighbor and I found a another neighbors 3 year old child wandering around our apartment complex alone and unsupervised, but returned her to safety.

This morning, I was walking out of my apartment and I heard a loud pounding on a door down the hall. “Great,” I thought, “either someone got locked out or there’s going to be a fight.” Well I look over and this woman is pounding on the door to the apartment next door to mine. She looks up at me, and looks bewildered, almost terrified, and goes “Oh my god, do you know this little girl? Does she live here? Do these people even have kids?” She looked like she was about to cry. And standing next to her in pink PJs is a little 3 year old girl.

I’m not particularly social in my apartment complex and barely know my neighbors. I know they have at least one kid because I’ve heard a baby crying over there but other than that, I have no idea. So I walk over to talk to the woman, calm her down a little bit, and help her figure out what’s going on. Suddenly the little girl reaches up, opens the door, runs in and back out in a flash, now holding a pink VTech tablet (an iPad for babies). So either it’s her home or she’s an awesome little cat burglar. So we ask her if this is her home, if her parents are there, if she can go wake up her mom, all of which she refuses to acknowledge and decides to just play with her tablet instead. Finally she looks up, says, “I can’t go in or the monsters will get me,” and goes back to her tablet.

I really have no desire to go into a strangers apartment, and the woman feels like wise. The woman tells me she found the girl wandering in the lobby a bit before 7 when she was on her way back up to her apartment from the gym. It’s now almost 730, and the front desk person at our building doesn’t come in till 8. So I tell the woman “Let’s take her down to the lobby, I’m gonna call the police, and we’ll get this straightened out.” So we go to the lobby and wait. A few minutes after 8 the desk attendant shows up. She’s a really nice lady, and she recognizes the girl instantly, so we fill her in with whats going on. Apparently she’s a friend of the mother, babysits the girl a lot, so she offers to go take her home. No sooner than she gets on the elevator, but the police officer shows up. The woman and I spend a few minutes explaining everything to him, and he takes our info down and says he’s going to head upstairs and see whats going on. About that time the attendant returns; apparently the mother was feeling ill and had taken some Nyquil or whatever and was out cold in the bedroom with the door shut, which is why she never heard the banging on the door.

Fortunately, crisis avoided. But what was crazy is that this little girl undid the deadbolt, opened the door, closed it behind her, got on the elevator and rode it down to the lobby and was wandering around by herself. And she was super friendly to everyone, while we were waiting in the lobby she waved and said hi to every single person passing through that was leaving for work or whatnot. I’m so happy the wrong person didn’t find her and kidnap her because it probably wouldn’t have been difficult to do.

So the moral of the story is, childproof your shit.

Party-vi > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/30/2015 at 09:41

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Children are adorable little buckets of disease that talk.

CB > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/30/2015 at 09:41

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Wow. That’s just... wow.

505Turbeaux > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/30/2015 at 09:41

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Nyquil

Somehow that doesn’t sound like Nyquil to me. and the monsters part is even creepier, although having 2 daughters that age they do make up alot of stuff. This sounds like a bad situation. Damn

yamahog > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/30/2015 at 09:42

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Way ahead of you!

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/30/2015 at 09:44

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apparently the mother was feeling ill and had taken some Nyquil or whatever and was out cold in the bedroom with the door shut

Yeah... Nyquil.... Sure...

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > 505Turbeaux 04/30/2015 at 09:46

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Yeah, the monsters bit had me a bit creeped out as well. I almost can’t help but wonder if the mother’s making shit up to keep her kid from bothering her while she’s doing her oxys.

Tekamul > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/30/2015 at 09:46

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All of my doors have little latching bars at the top for just this reason. They’re not there to keep people out, they are there to keep kids in. My 3 year old wanders outside every time we leave the door open.

CalzoneGolem > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/30/2015 at 09:49

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Ferrets are easier to contain than a child who wants out.

crowmolly > Tekamul 04/30/2015 at 09:50

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I installed one of those sliding-bar locks vertically on my front door for this reason.

505Turbeaux > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 04/30/2015 at 09:51

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something right along the lines of what I was thinking. Damn

Snuze: Needs another Swede > 505Turbeaux 04/30/2015 at 09:55

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I had the same thought, that’s why I figured screw it, just call the cops. On one hand I figured yeah, maybe it’s a fucked up living situation, but on the other I figure kids that age make stuff up all on their own.

There was a flop house in my parents neighborhood for a few years (SWAT cleaned them out last spring), so I’ve seen some shit, and these neighbors never struck me as such. But I have no idea, I live in “ritzy northern Virginia” now, not bumfuck methlab Maryland, so I’ve always heard it’s the bored housewives that do designer drugs... no redneck hammer fights over heroin on the front lawn here.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > yamahog 04/30/2015 at 09:57

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Hahahahahaha! That’s great.

Once at a Christmas party, some peoples kids were being absolute little animals and the parents were busy getting drunk. Everyone was clearly getting aggitated but no one said shit, so kind of loudly in front of everyone I looked at my wife (then fiance) and said “You know, after we get married, we’re going to have to make a decision. Do we have a couple of those, or do I get a racecar?” And she looks at me and goes “I’m starting to lean towards racecar.” The parents took the hint and packed their feral children up and left.

yamahog > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/30/2015 at 10:05

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Nicely done :) we are firmly in camp Racecar!

yamahog > CalzoneGolem 04/30/2015 at 10:07

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Damn slippery cat snakes

CalzoneGolem > yamahog 04/30/2015 at 10:08

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lol

CKeffer > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/30/2015 at 10:10

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Monsters and Nyquill.....either the mom snores like a damn lumberjack, or there is some shady ass shit going on in that apt. :-/

Snuze: Needs another Swede > yamahog 04/30/2015 at 10:12

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Hahaha, well I’m not there yet. I still haven’t got that race car, but I also don’t have a place to keep it at the moment, we’re just starting to look for houses. So in the meantime I’m filling out the gun collection and looking for another motorcycle. Trying to get all the “toys” (I use the term loosely, guns aren’t toys) in case she changes her mind and wants to make a tiny person with me.

yamahog > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/30/2015 at 10:19

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Good luck either way!

Snuze: Needs another Swede > yamahog 04/30/2015 at 10:28

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Thanks!

computiNATEor > Snuze: Needs another Swede 04/30/2015 at 10:55

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I had a very similar escapade when I was about her age. It seems I got up early on a weekday, put on my clothes and socks (but no shoes), and went to see if Sam, our elderly neighbor was awake yet. Before 6, when the newspapers had yet to be delivered; I apparently noticed a man “driving crazy.” I, of course, have no memory of this incident, but my parents have refused to let me live it down. Thankfully, I live in a quiet suburban neighborhood, but still... The thought of it today!

Jonathan Harper > Party-vi 04/30/2015 at 12:10

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And poo.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > computiNATEor 04/30/2015 at 12:26

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I told my mom about find the little girl this morning. She goes “Funny, people kept bringing you back, too!”

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > CalzoneGolem 04/30/2015 at 13:21

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You’ve obviously never lost a ferret in a couch.