Toast Condiments - Ranked

"Margin Of Error" (marginoferror)
04/28/2015 at 09:59 • Filed to: CONDIMENTLOPNIK

Hello fellow opponauts,

Hope you are all enjoying an healthy and tasty breakfast in preparation of a productive day of commenting.

I was just making myself some toasts when I found out I was running out of my favorite condiment, so I had to revert to margarine with a dab of Sweet n’ Low, which was kind of lame.

So, I decided to make a list of the best condiments for toasts.

It’s my list, but feel free to post your own favorites in the comments !

5 - Creamy Peanut butter

A safe option, but a bit coring

4 -

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4 - Garlic spread

For those who like to think out of the box

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3 - Cadbury Philly cream cheese

All the health benefits of cream cheese with the good taste of fine Cadbury Chocolate

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2 - Molasses

You probably forgot about molasses, but please give this old classic a second chance, it’s totally worth it and will remind you of 10W40 motor oil, which will please tour inner gear head.

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1 - Map-O-Spread

A true Canadian classic. It is so good that expats are having it shipped abroad.

It’s no longer made of real Maple Syrup, but thanks to modern science, it taste exactly the same.

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DISCUSSION (75)

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 10:01

Marmalade or GTFAC.

Leon711 > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 10:06

Kinja'd!!!

Sn210 > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 10:07

This list needs more apple jelly

crowmolly > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 10:08

Salted butter on quality rye with black coffee.

buford-t-justice > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 10:08

And if your Aussie, Vegemite...puke

pip bip - choose Corrour > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 10:08

seriously though.

the winner is clearly VEGEMITE!

no ifs buts or any substitute.

Vegemite = numero uno!

nermal > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 10:09

Wrong!

Kinja'd!!!

pip bip - choose Corrour > buford-t-justice
04/28/2015 at 10:10

have you tried it?

it’s GREAT!

Margin Of Error > Leon711
04/28/2015 at 10:12

What’s that

505Turbeaux > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
04/28/2015 at 10:12

came here to post this. Not even on this “list”

Margin Of Error > buford-t-justice
04/28/2015 at 10:12

Sounds gross

buford-t-justice > pip bip - choose Corrour
04/28/2015 at 10:12

I have, and I am not a fan, but then I like sardines so...

pip bip - choose Corrour > buford-t-justice
04/28/2015 at 10:12

what?

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 10:14

Kinja'd!!!

I can’t believe this is not on the list. This is my go to toast condiment.

Cheez Whiz

Crunchy Peanut Butter

Molasses (FUCK YEAH!)

Never had Map-O-Spread but now I’m curious I’m gonna need to find some.

Margin Of Error > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
04/28/2015 at 10:15

It was number six on my list

Margin Of Error > pip bip - choose Corrour
04/28/2015 at 10:15

“Vegemite is a dark brown Australian food paste made from leftover brewers’ yeast extract with various vegetable and spice additives developed by Cyril P. Callister in Melbourne, Victoria, in 1922.”

that’s... interesting

Margin Of Error > 505Turbeaux
04/28/2015 at 10:25

Marmalade would be a solid number 8

Margin Of Error > crowmolly
04/28/2015 at 10:25

Sounds boring, like the Camry of breakfast

Leon711 > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 10:25

Marmite, a yeast extract spread that has a rich powerful salty taste. Opinion is usually divided on it’s taste leading to the marketing slogan “love it or hate it”

Kinja'd!!!

it’s highly nutritous too!

Margin Of Error > Sn210
04/28/2015 at 10:25

Apple jelly makes damped toasts

buford-t-justice > pip bip - choose Corrour
04/28/2015 at 10:26

haha, it didnt post all of it. I like sardines so...I really shouldn’t say anything about Vegemite.

Margin Of Error > Leon711
04/28/2015 at 10:28

Since I like garlic butter spread, I have to try that.

thanks !

Sam > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 10:31

Just make sure you only put a super thin layer on your toast. It’s pretty potent stuff.

Margin Of Error > Sam
04/28/2015 at 10:34

Thanks for the advice !

Rico > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 10:45

Kinja'd!!!

/post

505Turbeaux > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 10:45

also your lack of chunky peanut butter...

Sn210 > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 10:50

You're just not eating fast enough!

misfitmascots > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 10:51

Cookie Butter

BrtStlnd > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 10:53

A nice blob of butter with cinnamon and sugar does it for me.

RallyWrench > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 10:57

Not even a Margerine of error joke ? Come on, it’s right there!

Leon711 > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 11:00

or put a thick layer on if you like punishment.

philipilihp > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 11:03

Biscoff. Done. And where the hell is nutella on this list?

Margin Of Error > Leon711
04/28/2015 at 11:03

Like cod liver oil ?

Kinja'd!!!

Margin Of Error > philipilihp
04/28/2015 at 11:04

Nutella would be number 3 if it wasn’t that expensive. It fell down to number 14 because of its price alone.

Leon711 > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 11:06

y’know the tastebuds on the rear of your tongue at the sides? they get all tingly with a large amount of Marmite. I’d say less sickening than Cod Liver Oil, but only because I like Marmite.

Marmite was named after the french ceramic container it was served (the picture on the jar)

philipilihp > Sn210
04/28/2015 at 11:08

No it doesn’t. Lots of other kinds of jelly, but not that one.

philipilihp > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 11:10

It’s worth every penny! You just have to get the Costco sized one.

Sn210 > philipilihp
04/28/2015 at 11:29

Apple jelly is the only jelly

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 11:37

Kinja'd!!!

Y U no Nutella?

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 11:38

There is something about warm, crusty bread and quality butter...

Margin Of Error > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
04/28/2015 at 11:39

Too expensive, it fell to the 14th position

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > RallyWrench
04/28/2015 at 11:39

That’s an okay joke, but I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better.

Margin Of Error > 505Turbeaux
04/28/2015 at 11:52

I do not have very healthy teeth so I prefer soft food.

RallyWrench > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
04/28/2015 at 11:59

Well played, sir. I agree that joke was spread a bit thin.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > RallyWrench
04/28/2015 at 12:19

It didn’t make it into the upper crust.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 12:19

Okay, didn’t realize cost/value was a consideration.

Margin Of Error > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
04/28/2015 at 13:21

Yeah, it is.

Otherwise, Nutella would have been number three.

Margin Of Error > nermal
04/28/2015 at 13:22

Cold butter is hard to spread

Margin Of Error > misfitmascots
04/28/2015 at 13:23

Never heard of that

misfitmascots > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 13:48

Trader Joes.

nermal > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 14:00

True if it’s cold and hard. But if you put hard butter on hot toast, the butter will melt to a spreadable consistency.

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 14:26

Kinja'd!!!

1- I need to find this asap

2- Listed as 5b (PB is 5a):

Kinja'd!!!

Margin Of Error > Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz)
04/28/2015 at 14:29

This looks amazing !

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 14:31

It’s pretty good alone but combine it with PB (on virtually any bread type) and it is phenomenal.

Rico > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 14:45

Here’s a tip, assuming you are using a metal knife/spoon and not plastic just run it under really hot water for a few seconds.

Ever heard the phrase “hot knife through butter”? That’s how they got it.

For Sweden > BrtStlnd
04/28/2015 at 14:46

Says the heathen who hates Creamy http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/dont-tread-on-…

Mattbob > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 14:48

my personal favorite is a layer of jam over a layer of butter.

Margin Of Error > Rico
04/28/2015 at 14:48

That’s brilliant, will give it a try !

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz)
04/28/2015 at 14:49

Nasty.

Devon lost his burner, understands electric cars don't require front grilles > Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz)
04/28/2015 at 14:49

I remember the budget school lunch options we had were PB+J or Fluffernutters.

Always went Fluffernutter.

Margin Of Error > Mattbob
04/28/2015 at 14:49

Yeah, that was number nine on my list

TheStigFarmer > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 14:49

Kinja'd!!!

this stuff is so chuffing uncanny valley I can’t stand it. The texture of cream cheese with the taste of proper chocolate is just... too bizarre for me. lol

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > Margin Of Error
04/28/2015 at 14:49

I could do the Garlic Spread and peanut butter, the rest is nope.