Turbos Are Not The Problem: Why We Need More Wine in Cars

"Conner Wylie" (Heeltoe) 04/20/2015 at 15:46 • Filed to: None

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The RenaultSport Clio pisses me off. Just look at it up there all smug and stuff...

It disgusts me.

As a relatively younger driver (read: broke) I previously lived in a state of perpetual heartbreak as my perfect vehicle, the almost universally praised Clio, would never make it to the shores of Canadaland. Luckily some salvation came in the form of the not-really-new-anymore Clio 200. Turbos, transmissions, and alliteration aside, I knew had finally moved on when I read about how the driver can make their Clio sound like an old Renault Gordini, a New GT-R, or even the Clio V6 with just a few pokes at the touch screen.

Pictured: The scene of the crime

Turbos aren’t the same as a wonderful N/A screamer, we all know that, but at least they’re mechanical and have a wonderful charm in their wooshes and whistles. While I love a good manual, I still marvel at the mechanical precision that makes a dual-clutch transmission work. It’s not necessarily what we enthusiasts want, but at least they’re real. Fake engine noises just ruin the whole idea of a car’s identity. It’s pretending to be something else. Who wants to be friends with the guy who tries to be a dick because he thinks it’ll get him girls?

Often I feel that analysis of changing car markets is far too focused on the cars themselves and it fails to take into account how ideas like “luxury” are changing in the societal whole. Wine, a recent passion of mine, is experiencing a renaissance of “natural” products. Everyone wants wines that are made by a PERSON, not an wine & spirits conglomerate. These wines see service in luxurious restaurants that have a piece of reclaimed wood as a table rather than traditional furniture covered with a table cloth. Luxury is changing, and cars might be going in the wrong direction.

Cars are never going to be a product made by 1000s of different producers all over the globe being supported by “Buy your local hatchback” campaigns and “Car sommeliers” who know where to go to get AN AMAZING mid-size sedan that they bet your boss has never heard of. Cars are always going to be a hugely corporate undertaking, but at the same time they are far too wonderful to simply become a commodity. It seemed obvious that music was going to go in whatever direction was best and cheapest, but now we live in a world where vinyl is not even coming back, it is back.

Pictured: The new Mercedes TBL

While the Clio’s fake-noise features might seem cool the first few times you head out in the car, will anybody really care about them in the second year of ownership? Cars are too expensive to rely on gimmicks. One thing the car world does do better than anyone is developing a brand on its own history. But I think that success will come to those who can maintain that connection beyond the badge on the front, and certainly beyond the software in the stereo. Luxury is now about what’s real. It no longer has to aspire to a perfect level of isolation from anything that could be described as the “real world”. If cars keep moving the way of the smartphone (a comparison people adore), they will just become a commodity, but those “in the know” will all be behind the wheel of tastefully selected classics. Maybe the idea of a “car sommelier” wasn’t that crazy at all. I think I’ve found my new calling in life.

For all inquiries regarding food/car pairings I’m reachable on Twitter @cwylie1

itschrome > Conner Wylie 04/20/2015 at 15:53

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wut.

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Conner Wylie 04/20/2015 at 15:54

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The Clio RS is an extremely disappointing car, that doesn’t mean it’s a bad car, but it’s essentially the exact opposite of what the last few generations were. There are plenty of fast comfortable hatches with an auto and they’re fine, but the older RS Clios were really something special.

Conner Wylie > Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. 04/20/2015 at 15:58

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It’s not the auto or even the comfort/speed relationship. It’s the specific little issue that it’s trying to be something that it’s not. It’s still a great car, but I can’t love a car that can’t love itself

Conner Wylie > itschrome 04/20/2015 at 15:59

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Yes?

Twingo Tamer - About to descend into project car hell. > Conner Wylie 04/20/2015 at 16:05

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I don’t like the fact that it’s become much softer and more disconnected from the road, the stereo rubbish can be turned off I assume.

itschrome > Conner Wylie 04/20/2015 at 16:09

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ah, ok. thanks!

stuttgartobsessed > Conner Wylie 04/20/2015 at 16:14

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I like this. A lot. Mostly because as I read this and as I’m typing this response, I’m at work (Winery) looking out the window at the most pristine 1976 Cadillac ElDorado convertible. Turquoise over white, with color matched hubcaps. Big, brash, loud, inefficient, but damn gorgeous. As someone who surrounds himself with wine and cars, I think you’re spot-on. Being able to not only guide the consumer to the vehicle that will best suit them, you can also guide the manufacturer to producing a more “local”, “true”, and “real” product.

Cheers.

Conner Wylie > stuttgartobsessed 04/20/2015 at 16:16

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It was so hard for me to get through this without dropping in “terroir”
Maybe in the next one :P

stuttgartobsessed > Conner Wylie 04/20/2015 at 16:21

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Haha I bet. You could have used “approachable”

Sweet Trav > Conner Wylie 04/20/2015 at 16:38

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So make cars better by making them worse? Have a N/a motor that makes no torque and has to rev to the moon to deliver usable performance? What’s next the return to carburetors so you can get a signature idle air screw adjustment?

Powertrain is better now, in every tangible way than it ever has been, even intangible ways it puts the old powerplants to shame. You’re a young guy, so you only get the nostalgia of yesteryear from stories, second hand accounts and old men talking about cars that at best cracked 14.0 second quarter mile.

Road handling and cornering, also better than it’s ever been. Bolt on some bias ply tires go arountha sharp corner and learn the meaning of the word pucker.

What is missing from modern engineering and modern cars is people who have a passion for the product they create. I work in this industry and I cannot tell you how many people look at creating a car, even a performance car as a way to pay the bills, not a passion for building the best.

This hipster mentality that the old ways are better is pattently false. Nostalgia is a hell of a drug, and one classic cars dole out in kilos, not single hits. Drive a 1969 Camaro Z/28 and a 2015 Camaro Z/28 and its no contest, in every way the new car wins.

Conner Wylie > Sweet Trav 04/20/2015 at 16:46

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I actually totally agree that things are better than they ever have been. Really I just don’t want cars pretending they’re something they’re not. I want a car to have a cohesive identity for itself. I don’t need a car to be made out of tinfoil, nor does it need to be N/A (I actually adore turbos and the noises they make). You seem to get to the point better. I want the car to be made by someone who cares. I want a crazy product manager who will come up with something interesting, but I also want top-level quality control because having a sense of purpose is not an excuse to go backwards. Classics aren’t better, they just seem to be better at being themselves.

Edit: To further continue the point I was making, wine is better now than it has ever been before. Cars can be amazing without just becoming homogenous.

avens > Conner Wylie 04/20/2015 at 18:10

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If you remove the nostalgia-glasses everyone has then it’s safe to say we are living in the best car era ever, in every possible way. That includes the sheer amount of cohesive, special, interesting, heterogeneous, practically hand-made cars that are currently produced or that are in the works; that at every price bracket too.

But for that you don’t go to Renault in particular. That Renault right now isn’t manufacturing a car like what you describe doesn’t mean the whole car market is like that. Very few (non-chinese) manufacturers aren’t currently making a car like that. No need to go to some (hipster) UK-brand too, as you can check how Ford sells gems right now, or heck even the post-economic crisis Honda is offering some future classics at every price point.

Another thing to note is that looks can be deceiving. A non-car enthusiast might think Porsche is the most homogenous and boring brand of them all, but in actuality every single sport trim car that Porsche sells right now is truly a work of passion. Too bad Jalopnik is hipster by definition so here there’s very few reviews or mentions.