Honda Donates All Leftover Honda Insights To The IRS

"Steven Lang" (StevenLang) 04/14/2015 at 17:20 • Filed to: None

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Honda has officially announced that they will be donating all remaining 2014 Honda Insights to the Internal Revenue Service. As a result, Honda is officially declaring April 15th, "Insight Independence Day."

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Adam Davis, new Assistant Manager of Honda Public Relations, and former IRS agent, put together the deal that will finally help Honda liquidate their ill-fated hybrid.

"We were told that the IRS has a budgetary shortfall, and let's face it, the Insight was probably the biggest piece of..., I mean, most unloved car in our entire line-up."

"We sat down with a well-tanned Republican fellow, a few of our lobbyists, and this chick from San Francisco, and pretty much constructed the entire deal over a three martini lunch."

And it is quite a deal. Honda will receive a full tax credit that is !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! that is given to individuals who drive their cars in service to charitable organizations.

"We figured that the IRS deserves a little bit of charity. And heck, with them contracted to drive each one of our 27,000 remaining Insights at least 200,000 miles, we're going to blow Tesla's federal subsidies out of the water!"

Past attempts to donate the Insights to the City of Chicago, Afghanistan, the New Orleans Dike Fortification Program, and the Church of Scientology were all unsuccessful.

"We were going to initially rename the Insight the "L. Ron Hubbard Thetan Fighting Machine" since all you had to qualify was become a Scientologist.", explained Davis, "But apparently General Motors already had a trademark on that name back in the 1990s."

It turns out that the "L. Ron Hubbard Thetan Fighting Machine" was used to liquidate the Chevorlet Malibu back in the Clinton Era. Edward Lowenbrau, Chevrolet's then head of public relations, was given the OK to use their own unique charitable program on all remaining Malibus.

"We first tried to donate about 23,000 Malibus to the IRS." Lowenbrau told me over the phone, "But when they told us they couldn't accept any non-white cars due to federal government regulations, I told em', "I'll show you how to make all these cars more white than Barry Manilow!" We then gave the IRS our new server cleaning program, a $200 Earl Scheib paint job special for each Malibu, and lifetime free oil changes. Officially, those cars were all donated to the Church of Scientology ...but apparently we were successful at offering other forms of persuasion."

"It's too bad Honda still has to get rid of the CR-Z.", bemoaned Mr. Lowenbrau. "Not even enlisting the finest PR artists in our business can save that thing. Wait, maybe they can ship them to Iran and trade all those cars for centrifuges? Let me make a few calls."

Alex from Toronto > Steven Lang 12/30/2014 at 23:30

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Well I need a first car so, I wouldn't mind an Insight.

claramag, Mustaco Master > Steven Lang 12/30/2014 at 23:31

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Unemployed zombies still unrepresented *sigh* when will the discrimination cease!?

The Transporter > Steven Lang 12/30/2014 at 23:36

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Taking a page out of Mitsubishi's i-MiEV marketing campaign, I see.

Steve in Manhattan > Steven Lang 12/30/2014 at 23:55

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Back in January 2011 ZipCar had an Insight near me, so I took it for an evening for a family function. You can't make a real judgment driving over the GW Bridge and back, but the car was OK for what it was. The Prius is better sorted, and I've rented more than a few of those. The stop/start wasn't too awful, but still a bit jarring. I had fun trying to beat the lights yet keep it on the electric motor on West End Avenue. The steering had little feel, the brakes were OK, the fit and finish good, and the experience forgettable. Which is why you probably shouldn't even be reading this.

thereisnospork > Steven Lang 12/31/2014 at 00:12

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Spec race series anyone?

BaconSandwich is tasty. > Steven Lang 12/31/2014 at 00:14

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If a person were to walk into a Honda dealership with a bag of cash for an Insight, how big of a bag would it take? I mean, how much are they going for, seriously?

Steven Lang > BaconSandwich is tasty. 12/31/2014 at 00:18

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Depends if it's a nickel bag or a dime bag.

Kyree S. Williams > Steve in Manhattan 12/31/2014 at 01:56

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My problem, when I drove an Insight, is that it didn't feel like a cohesive product. The build-quality was, of course, there, but it felt cobbled together and almost like a knockoff. The lowly Prius C, based on the Yaris, feels more proper...and certainly the full-sized Prius and Prius V do.

Steve in Manhattan > Kyree S. Williams 12/31/2014 at 02:10

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You have put into words what I could not put into words - if the Insight was a 2002 car, yeah, I can see it. But it's a 2011 car, and it just doesn't cut it given the choices.

Ryan A. > Steven Lang 12/31/2014 at 09:00

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I've been to a dealership where one of the salesmen had a neck tattoo. I'm sure he'd take a dime bag.

He was actually a very nice guy and a good salesman. Didn't try to be forceful and only asked questions that would help him narrow down our car search.

Collin > Steven Lang 12/31/2014 at 11:48

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Man, that Adam Davis is a genius to come up with a program like this. Genius!

BaconSandwich is tasty. > Steven Lang 12/31/2014 at 20:31

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Seriously though - how much is a new Insight going for? Cheapest I could find on Craigslist was $10k, and it had a salvage title.

Tina Corbett > BaconSandwich is tasty. 01/03/2015 at 16:08

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I'm with this guy. I'm broke as hell and need a car. I have a job but just no money down as I'm new on the job and just now getting out of Bankruptcy hell... (medical bills are a bitch)

JimJamJollop > Steven Lang 01/04/2015 at 13:59

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Off topic comment, but have to say I am extremely happy to see you writing again, Steve. 2015 is already looking bright!

Your return to TTAC ushered in a, sadly brief, renaissance at that site but their Pinochet like policy of "disappearing" talent without comment, thanks or acknowledgement is childish and frustrating. Aside from Jack, the only regular character remaining seems to be Mark Baruth's misogynistic self congratulatory dreck. Feel bad for Derek.

Steven Lang > JimJamJollop 01/04/2015 at 22:20

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Thanks so much for that! There are times when we need a nice little pick-me-up, and you just did that for me. Thanks so much.

Bubba > Steven Lang 01/05/2015 at 00:39

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Hyperbole aside, are they really being cleared out and, if so, for how little? At gives us *something* factual.

Party-vi > Alex from Toronto 02/25/2015 at 16:35

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Good gas mileage and just about what you would expect for acceleration (none whatsoever) and interior quality (so much plastic even the plastic is plastic). They've got super boosted steering and are fun to throw around on twisty roads.

Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man > Steven Lang 02/25/2015 at 16:41

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It looks like the the toyota prius and an egg had an ugly bastard child.

Tohru > Steven Lang 02/25/2015 at 19:05

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I'll take a 2011 please. I have the contents of the change tray in my truck for a down payment.

dogisbadob > Steven Lang 04/14/2015 at 17:41

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oh look, a Honda fording a river :p

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > Steven Lang 04/14/2015 at 18:33

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Cute, but everyone knows the GSA is the one that supplies our cars. Though I'd love an insight, personally.

Plecostomus is a starred commenter > Steven Lang 04/14/2015 at 18:33

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it's a little late in april for an April Fool's article Steven

Steven Lang > Plecostomus is a starred commenter 04/14/2015 at 18:47

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I had to laugh after crying over the check I sent earlier today.

Steven Lang > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind 04/14/2015 at 18:50

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The GSA is the IRS with a three kayer dress.

I'm not sure exactly what that means, but at least it rhymes.

Plecostomus is a starred commenter > Steven Lang 04/14/2015 at 19:30

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suddenly the timing makes more sense

ranwhenparked > Steven Lang 04/14/2015 at 22:09

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It turns out that the "L. Ron Hubbard Thetan Fighting Machine" was used to liquidate the Chevorlet Malibu back in the Clinton Era. Edward Lowenbrau, Chevrolet's then head of public relations, was given the OK to use their own unique charitable program on all remaining Malibus.

If that was true, you can bet they would have made us buy two of them in case one runs out of gas. Oh, and they would have had to have been immediately replaced with "Super Mark VI Malibus" as soon as they were available.