All Quiet On The Bavarian Front

"Mark - Sixpots None The Richer" (marklinde) 03/18/2015 at 12:10 • Filed to: Sixpots None The Richer, Kolbenfresser, Das Boot, BMW, E34

5

8

Luckily I’m not Doug DeMuro because if I had to make a living by writing about the flaws of my car I’d starve to death.

About 2,500km (~1,500mi) I’ve daily driven the Bimmer so far in all kinds of winter weather without a single problem. I’m lying of course. A rear light bulb decided to fail on me. Those were two long days of car ownership agony until I finally changed the bulb in a five minutes repair marathon of misery. The horror, the horror...

It shifted fridges around, brought a kitten home (that leaked worse than a Roadkill project car), was abused by friends who never revved an engine beyond 3500rpm before and endured my terrible singing without suddenly pulling into uncoming traffic to end it all. What a sport!

Oh, and it hit the rev limiter. In fifth gear. While running indicated 210kph (130mph). !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

I’m also ready for the summer. A friend of mine had older tires and faded BMW Styling 2 rims lying around and I bought them for little money. They’re pretty rad, aren’t they? ( Not my car/picture ),

No, of course not! Yet at the moment it doesn’t make any sense to waste money on wheels which are worth more than my car. This is especially true since I have to divide my limited funds. I’m planning a trip to Norway in the summer and I need to know that my Boat will be able to handle the mechanical abuse. Someday though...( Sadly not my car/pic as well )

So first things first. A few days ago I left the Boat at a shop which was recommended to me to get a full service.

(“Behave or I take your license plates off and leave you here!”)

It was the first in years since the previous owner was probably spending his entire car budget on dreadful blue windscreen wipers. Style is way more important than clotty break fluid, right?

After exchanging all the fluids, spark plugs, filters, belts and a broken tensioning lever the jury came in and gave their verdict: There were no nasty surprises and Das Boot is somewhat fine, everybody!

The mechanic was particularly impressed with the engine. 250,000km (155,000mi) and it’s as dry as Matt Farrah’s elbows - love you, Matt!. ;-)

After weeks of nervously listening for weird noises and expecting the smell of something burning every moment I’m starting to relax a bit. Norway all the way! ( Not my pic - yet! )

I still owe you the comprehensive list of things that are still wrong with my car though. This however has to wait a little longer. Who wants to see a video review about it so Matt can make fun of my awful combination skin?

505Turbeaux > Mark - Sixpots None The Richer 03/18/2015 at 12:30

0

Have you had to replace any of the 3rd brake light LED's yet? That is fun. 10$ in bulbs that will last or 280$ or so to buy the strip that will start dying again soon. When I bought mine it had literally 3 of the lights still in action

JGrabowMSt > Mark - Sixpots None The Richer 03/18/2015 at 12:54

0

All that said, I strongly advise that you go through the most important functions of the car, and look to update them.

Coolant hoses, belts, radiators, water pump, light bulbs, etc. Make sure that whatever you fear will strand you cannot.

Then you can move onto the lesser essentials, brakes, wheel bearings, bushings, sway bar links, and so on.

Besides all that, good on you and Das Boot for being in tip top shape!

Mark - Sixpots None The Richer > 505Turbeaux 03/18/2015 at 13:07

0

It seems to be a different setup. My third brake light is - gladly - just a normal 21W bulb.

Mark - Sixpots None The Richer > JGrabowMSt 03/18/2015 at 13:19

1

Thank you!

And I will. I already discussed those issues with said mechanic and we will perform a major pre-flight check before travelling 3,000km in one stint.

The coolant hoses and the radiators are ok, but especially BMW water pumps are notorious for failing without warning. It seems to be the most common failure that actually destroys the otherwise solid engine, so I might just exchange the old pump to be/feel save.

I will also replace the sway bars within the next three months. They aren't clapped out yet, but definitely tired. I don't want to admire the fjords from the wrong side of the waves. The brakes are fine though.

NevynPA > Mark - Sixpots None The Richer 03/18/2015 at 13:22

0

Is that a beater or a Harlequin edition?

Mark - Sixpots None The Richer > NevynPA 03/18/2015 at 13:26

0

It is/was a Harlequin edition.

Schaefft > Mark - Sixpots None The Richer 03/18/2015 at 13:49

1

Failing tail light bulb? Had to change one in my E38 and one in my E39 (and another bulb I haven't bothered replacing yet). This seems to be a major problem with BMWs. Recall or Riot! >:(

Mark - Sixpots None The Richer > Schaefft 03/18/2015 at 14:13

0

Bastards, I knew it! We are yet again test driving unfinished cars for a greedy company! God bless the internet for blowing their cover-up!

Yes, we need to riot because where will it end if we don't? Imagine if we have to change our brake discs too?

NO WAY, this madness needs to stop right now!