"PS9" (PS9)
03/17/2015 at 01:08 • Filed to: None
30
6|
"PS9" (PS9)
03/17/2015 at 01:08 • Filed to: None | 30
| 6 |
It's time to reveal what I know. Done keeping my mouth shut about all of this. I'll be dead by the time this gets published, but enough is enough. The truth has to come out.
Clarkson and BRT are the same person. Jalopnik had approach BRTson about writing for them months before they published the article asking, but there was no way he could do both the show and a jalopnik column. One of them had to go.
The producer he supposedly struck isn't a real person. He never existed. There are no birth records. The twitter account could be anyone (but is probably BRT/Clarkson). All the pictures of him in the media are computer generated forgeries. The story was cooked up by the head of Porsche and approved by the CEOs of Ferrari, McLaren, Valve, and BBC. They needed to end the show before the stig could discover the horrifying truth about todays modern hypercars. They're put forward as extreme performance machines. But there's nothing extreme about them at all..you see...
...all three are powered by a 3 cylinder diesel hooked up to a CVT. No one has revealed their ring times, because all three could be easily beaten by a Nissan Versa.
But wait...I mention Valve. What do they have to do with this? What indeed...
3 Hypercars.
3 Presenters.
3 Initials.
The overlap between Top Gear viewers and Steam account holders is well known and established, and with Top Gear out of the way, soon their attentions will be focused on one thing and one thing only...
PatBateman
> PS9
03/17/2015 at 01:33 |
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This is some next level shit right here.
V8 Rustler
> PS9
03/17/2015 at 02:58 |
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It was worth the weight to know the truth.
JustWaitingForAMate
> PS9
03/17/2015 at 03:07 |
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Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura
> PS9
03/17/2015 at 03:46 |
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Inside a dark room lit with only one fluorescent bulb and blanketed with a layer of cigar smoke, well-suited men sat around a table, mumbling about future businesses with Beige corporations and the Safety brigade until one of them finally leaned into the spotlight.
"Gentlemen, I hope you know why I called all of you here today. If not, well... None of that matters now." Leaning back a bit and holding onto a donut, he continued. "We're here today to discuss a major leakage from the Gawker Media Site called Jalopnik, or more importantly, Opposite LOCK." Cue agitated murmurs and weak insults about one's families.
Leaning back to take a bite of his strawberry flavored glazed donut, he leaned forward and handed a picture. "Intel sources have told us of a human b- no, by an entity named Pee Ess Nine who is currently out selling market secrets. Normally, if this was about any green-lit indie game, we wouldn't be here. But..." Leaning back for a second bite, he leaned forward to toss a couple of pages - most of them dialogues. "We must eliminate him at all costs."
"But sir," one of them found the courage to speak up, lest he wanted to be sent to Siberia. "How? How are we going to find this ent-OOF!" A half-eaten donut found itself clocking into the unfortunate henchman.
Leaning back a bit, he leaned forward to ponder... "Ah, I do remember of our trump card. We'll send him ."
macanamera
> PS9
03/17/2015 at 08:47 |
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Camshaft Chris: Skyline/McLaren/Porsche Fanboy
> PS9
03/17/2015 at 09:11 |
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But wait...I mention Valve. What do they have to do with this? What indeed...
3 Hypercars.
3 Presenters.
3 Initials.
The overlap between Top Gear viewers and Steam account holders is well known and established, and with Top Gear out of the way, soon their attentions will be focused on one thing and one thing only...
