"Steven Lang" (StevenLang)
03/17/2015 at 08:50 • Filed to: None
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"Steven Lang" (StevenLang)
03/17/2015 at 08:50 • Filed to: None | 12
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You know that supposed great government vehicle you can get for only $100? The type you see promoted via spam and late night TV? Well, I managed to get one.
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It was a first generation Ford Explorer that had been left at a back of a small city's water department for two years. The online listing on Govdeals was too good to be true. 20 year Explorer. $100. A surprisingly nice interior. All the things that make you have stupid thoughts about an impulsive late evening purchase.
I was bored of course, and drunk, and browsing on Craigslist for old cars that were probably worth more dead than alive. After a brief jump into !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , I saw it.
It was right between a listing for parade gaiters and another one for a large box of old library books.
I remember when they were new and, of course, not being able to afford one, or even wanting one for that matter. Back in 1993 I was pretty much on the opposite side of the enthusiast world when it came to SUVs. They were for Moms and Yuppies.
My nearly insatiable love back then was for the first generation Miata and a rare high-end Japanese delicacy known as the Toyota Celica All-Trac. Explorers were just not my thing. But I do recall thinking that the ones used in Jurassic Park were pretty cool, and heck, for $100? What did I have to lose?
Long story short, the next day I woke up with a mild schnapps induced hangover, walked down to my seven year old laptop, clicked on an email, and saw this.
"Congratulations, Steven Lang! You are the high bidder."
Two days later I hauled in my bounty.
It was beautiful! At least to me. Vinyl seats and all. I replaced the battery, had my mechanic tend to the old gas in the tank. Filled it up. Changed the oil. Added a healthy amount of fuel treatment, and drove it through about two tanks of gas before !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . I then decided to re-invest that money, buy another car, sell that one, and repeat the process ad infinitum for the benefit of two local charities. !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! if you're so inclined.
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So what's this article about again? Oh yeah. Government auctions are not cheap. Well, they're not. But that has more to do with bad presentation and general incompetence than it does with the quality of the merchandise.
Take !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! for instance. Click on it. Read it all the way through, and then ask yourself a question.
Why is it so cheap?
There's an easy answer that you won't see in the description. You can not !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! with a CNG fuel tank that is expired unless you get that tank replaced, which typically cost around $2000 to $3000. To make matters worse, Atlanta has virtually no infrastructure when it comes to fueling these vehicles. Caveat emptor!
This isn't a one vehicle issue. Most listings give you very little information about the vehicle's condition. In fact, nearly every one of the vehicles sold by the City of Atlanta come down to three words.
I... know... nothing...
In the world of governments, these words get translated into zero disclosure for bidders.
"engine condition unknown, transmission condition unknown, driving condition !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ...."
When you bid on a government car online, you are headed to destination unknown. Sometimes you can end up with a primo police car that was owned by a County Commissioner and maintained to the nth degree, and other times you can wind up with an interior with more potential moisture related diseases than an abandoned public restroom at an old truck stop.
This smell, which was ten times worse than a worn out mop, is what I got as an unpleasant surprise from the city of Pine Lake, Georgia. A small town that used to be synonymous with speed traps and cheap liquor.
I bought from them a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! and then threw in another $750 to make it right. Everything from the seats, to the pedals, to the carpet needed to be stripped out. Then I had to do a tune up, a freeze plug, weird wiring issues,... all this for a truck with a dog V6 and about 76k miles. It would have likely been well over $2000 if I was just some poor schmoe off the street.
I have been buying government cars for about 15 years now. My advice? Always go in person with a jumpbox. If you can't see it in person, don't bid. Get a Carfax for every single one. See if you can find out the maintenance records, and do some serious handicapping when it comes to your bid.
There is an ocean of vehicle neglect out there (check out how our local light rail service !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ) , so until you find out the answers in person, don't bid. Life is too short for rolling turds and 4000 pound paperweights.
jkm7680
> Steven Lang
03/17/2015 at 08:52 |
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Damn, that Explorer was a good deal.
505Turbeaux
> Steven Lang
03/17/2015 at 08:59 |
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Like all of us here, we are bound by rules on sharing, and there is a very tight set of rules as far as reshare or top posting content. Please see here http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/sharing-can-be…
j250ex
> Steven Lang
03/17/2015 at 09:03 |
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Good find. I would be hard pressed to buy a government vehicle after working for my college for a few years and seeing how they treat their vehicles.
Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
> Steven Lang
03/17/2015 at 09:03 |
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Holy shit! You can buy a lot of 5 surplus Maryland State PD Eurocopters on there!?
Someone call Nick Denton, Gawker could have a fleet! I volunteer as tribute to be put through rotary wing pilot training to fly Hardibro around.
WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe
> Steven Lang
03/17/2015 at 09:05 |
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I came here to say, I also bought a white first-gen explorer for $100. It had a cloth interior and a broken gas gauge. I drove it for months until the transmission went out. It looked just like yours!
Funktheduck
> Steven Lang
03/17/2015 at 09:14 |
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Considering how MARTA is always on the verge of going bankrupt I'm not surprised.
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Steven Lang
> 505Turbeaux
03/17/2015 at 09:15 |
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My apologies. I had a lot of formatting issues with the graphics I use for the Long-Term Quality Index, due in part to my being brand new with Kinja. We use a lot of PNG graphics for our data.
Long story short, I'm going to use my own Kinja to get the format issues right the first time and then schedule it for Oppo once everything is set. You should see my articles posted once from hereonin.
All the best!
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505Turbeaux
> Steven Lang
03/17/2015 at 09:19 |
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thank you!
Rainbow
> Funktheduck
03/17/2015 at 09:26 |
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If they would actually extend it out to Gwinnett instead of assuming that would somehow bring crime to the area, they might do better.
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Funktheduck
> Rainbow
03/17/2015 at 09:33 |
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Every time they've tried expanding whatever city/county they try getting into the public outcry is so loud they give up. I grew up in Cobb. It seemed like every year there would be a new proposal for expanding and people would flip out. People who I knew that didn't care about politics at all would be up in arms over Marta coming in.
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Rainbow
> Funktheduck
03/17/2015 at 09:38 |
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Yeah, it makes no sense at all. I mean, I can maybe sort of understand not wanting the trains, depending on where they go, but the buses are no problem at all. Especially here; Gwinnett has its own bus system that connects with Marta's in Doraville. (I think; I'm just assuming since that's the closest of the train stations, but it does connect) So.... How would it be a problem if the buses over here were white instead of red?
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Funktheduck
> Rainbow
03/17/2015 at 09:45 |
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Because poor people ride buses. Poor people commit crimes. Poor people are minorities. Minorities commit crime.
Honestly I don't know. Above is the closest I've gotten to explanations. Cobb has CCT buses too.
WiscoProud
> Steven Lang
03/17/2015 at 11:02 |
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Any idea on how they're blowing the engines on F-250s? I have to imagine those trucks can take an impressive amount of abuse.
Thunder
> Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
04/05/2015 at 11:20 |
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I'll second that. I can go for a rotary wing license. It'd be a fun addition.