I'm pretty bummed out.

"Luc - The Acadian Oppo" (luc5)
03/03/2015 at 12:51 • Filed to: None

My wife had a miscarriage after struggling to get pregnant for almost 3 years.

I'm starting to think it's not meant to be.

She was ~8 weeks preggo we went for ultrasound and there was no embryo which means the pregnancy failed.

DISCUSSION (48)

thebigbossyboss > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 12:54

CB > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 12:54

Shit, Luc. I'm really sorry to hear that. My condolences to you and your wife.

spanfucker retire bitch > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 12:55

Wow.

I'm sorry to hear that, sir. I can't imagine what you and your wife must be going through right now.

zeontestpilot > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 12:55

Well...you could always adopt. My dad was adopted, and I couldn't ask for a better father. Actually, he has inspired me quite a bit.

newsmctado > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 12:58

Hey, buddy. I know it's tough. My wife and I have been trying for two years, including multiple failed procedures. We start IVF in April and that's pretty much our last shot. There is absolutely no way to make it any better. And you're going to (rightfully) get really pissed off when it seems like its happening for everyone else. Just try to support each other, because no one else is going to understand how hard it is. There are a lot groups out there (Exhale is the national infertility support group). I was really reluctant at first, but they've been great; mainly because you will realize that there are others dealing with the same problems.

I wish you guys the best of luck and hope it works out for you.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 12:58

I'm sorry to hear that for you and your wife :(

Jcarr > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 12:59

I'm sorry man, that's a gut punch. Shortly after my wife and I found out we were expecting our first we had a miscarriage scare and thought for certain that we'd lost him. It was one of the worst feelings I've ever had.

Hang in there and don't give up.

$kaycog > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 12:59

I am so terribly sorry. This is so heartbreaking. *hug*

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 12:59

Very sorry to read. Is adoption out of the question?

Xyl0c41n3 > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:00

I'm so sorry, Luc. My condolences to both you and your wife.

I can't speak as to whether or not it's meant to be, but please don't let this be a negative reflection on you guys. I'm sorry, I'm having trouble figuring out how to say what it is I want to say. So I'll just say again that I'm sorry you guys are going through this. My thoughts for peace and healing are with you both.

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:00

Oof. Sad to hear that, don't let this bring you down.

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:00

Man that sucks! I can only suggest just not worrying about it anymore and just keep not using protection. If you aren't actively trying it might not be as depressing if it never works out. My wife and I are at the stage where we are only using condoms when she is supposed to be fertile, and not worrying that much about the extra chances that we might get pregnant.

Internet hugs

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Shamoononon drives like a farmer
03/03/2015 at 13:04

It's not but its an extremely difficult process and cost a fortune. Why that I don't know. there are millions of kids that need parents so why is it so difficult to adopt I don't know.

I know you have to look out for pedophiles, abusers and shit. but if you pass a criminal check and mental state check why would they not allow you to adopt without spending $25K?

505Turbeaux > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:05

good lord man that is tough. I have a friend who went through this likely a dozen times. After we all said, enough, stop doing this to yourself, they conceived, carried to term a beautiful baby girl and then another with no issues. If it isn't meant to be, it just isn't, but there is always hope. I wish you the best of luck in whatever your decision is in this matter, and I hope you get through this tough time as easy as possible

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > zeontestpilot
03/03/2015 at 13:05

We have considered it but it's no easy process. Cost a fortune and takes forever.

make it accessible for the people who really want kids then I'm all for it.

505Turbeaux > newsmctado
03/03/2015 at 13:05

this

jariten1781 > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:05

Sorry to hear that.

FWIW my sister-in-law and her husband tried for about 11 years (and 2, 3? miscarriages...don't remember) and a billion varieties of different fertility treatments (both the nice-expensive-sciency western kind and crazy ass eastern voodoo shit) with no luck. Eventually they gave up and were learning about adoption when suddenly pregnant.

Shit works in weird ways. Keep your head up.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > 505Turbeaux
03/03/2015 at 13:06

Thanks bud!

Nibby > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:06

Sorry to hear that. Wish you and your wife the best. :)

We're all here for ya.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:09

Awh man.. I don't know what to say.. in fact, there's nothing I CAN say.. I'm so sorry.

Coty > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:12

I can't pretend to know what that's like at all, but if you need anything let me know, dude. I'm really sorry man.

Wacko > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:15

Dude, don't give up, me and the wife lost 3 so far.

One of them we found out at the first ultrasound. sorta like you. finally about a year after we were blessed with my baby girl(who turned one last friday)

we even lost one 2 months ago.

Now, my wife is about one month pregnant. So fingers crossed.

Keep on trying, you will get your miniature version of you and your wife.

Here's another boat for your marina

Kinja'd!!!

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Coty
03/03/2015 at 13:15

I could use an F350 Platinum if you're asking.

But in all reality we'll get thru this it's not like the baby died it was just never there. If this would of happened 3-4 months down the road then I'd be trully devastated.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Wacko
03/03/2015 at 13:17

I'm just scared because of how hard it was to get preggo in the first place. But thanks for the ship.

Ben Burkhardt > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:23

Move to the United Kingdom.

TheHondaBro > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:32

My mom had two miscarriages before me. Don't give up hope!

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:36

Yes, I guess I should have thought of that. I have a co-worker that has been trying to adopt for a while though he has a physical disorder. How is it so easy to be an abusive foster parent but they make it very hard to be a good adoptive parent. Best wishes to you.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Shamoononon drives like a farmer
03/03/2015 at 13:39

How is it so easy to be an abusive foster parent but they make it very hard to be a good adoptive parent.

My thoughts exactly.

wunderwagen wants a longer roof > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:43

Just keep your chin up man, things will work out for you and your wife. I'm sure you have heard enough of that but just don't let the negativity eat at you. Here's hoping everything will work out for you.

philipilihp > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:48

So sorry to hear that! I really hope it will work out well for you two!

One of my wife's friends has been struggling with it as well and now they finally have a beautiful baby girl so there is always hope my friend!

ttyymmnn > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:48

I'm sorry to hear that. We lost our first pregnancy to miscarriage. And had to try like hell to get pregnant the second time (I think I may have told you the lost cat story). Be strong, hang in there, and please extend my concern for your wife. Sometimes, giving up is the best thing that can happen because the pressure is off. Best of luck to you both.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > ttyymmnn
03/03/2015 at 13:54

yes you told me the lost cat story. DAMN CAT!

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Ben Burkhardt
03/03/2015 at 13:56

why? for some english muffins perhaps?

ttyymmnn > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:56

I'm going to chime in here again, because you touch on an important point. In a strange way, this is the best time for something like this to happen. Too late in the pregnancy, or after birth, is absolutely the worst. It's quite astounding what all has to go right for a healthy baby to be born, and this is really the body's way of saying, "Wait a minute, something's not right here."

You mentioned the cost of adoption, and I don't know the whole history of your attempts, but if you put that $25k into perspective, that's probably about what you'd pay for a new car you'd keep for maybe 10 years. A child you will keep til the day you die, and she will appreciate over that time rather than depreciate. I know it's not the same as having your own , but there are plenty of great kids out there who need a great set of parents.

Courage, mon ami!

ttyymmnn > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:56

Maybe you should get a cat! And then lose it!

Imirrelephant > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 13:57

Damn, that's a bummer dude. My wife and I have been trying for around 3 years to conceive as well. No luck so far. I can't imagine what it would be like to get there and then 2 months later have that hope dashed. My thoughts are with you and your wife.

Ben Burkhardt > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 14:02

what ever

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Ben Burkhardt
03/03/2015 at 14:10

sorry dude there was no link at first.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > ttyymmnn
03/03/2015 at 14:14

it's because they don't offer 84 month sub prime financing on adoption so you have to put up the money up front.

But as you said if you are going to have a miscarriage this is definitely the best time for it. We never even say the baby or heard the heartbeat.

zeontestpilot > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 14:26

Is it expensive? I have no idea. My dads (adoptive) parents were unable to have their own kids, so they adopted my dad, my aunt, and my uncle. All three of them. I do know later in life they didnt have much money.

Maybe foster parents?

I'll keep you and your wife in my prayers. It's all I can do for you, :/.

TheD0k_2many toys 2little time > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 14:35

Im sorry to hear that. I dont know what that is like but keep your head up.

Happy Miata for you

Kinja'd!!!

AddictedToM3s - Drives a GC > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 15:12

Sorry to hear that man. I can't imagine how heartbreaking that must have been. Wish you and your wife the best.

Agrajag > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 15:33

I'm incredibly sorry to hear that.

pdthedeuce > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 15:46

man ... don't know what to say , and I realize what I might say doesn't really matter , but I feel for you and your wife .

CaptDale - is secretly British > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/03/2015 at 17:13

So sorry to hear that. My thoughts towards you and your wife.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/04/2015 at 01:58

that sucks.

but keep trying it WILL happen.

orcim > Luc - The Acadian Oppo
03/04/2015 at 02:38

Ah - life. It's not easy, sometimes. I wish to offer condolences and support to what you are going through, especially for the partnership between you and your wife - because that's the most important thing above the individual.

I don't know "you", I can't know your hopes/fears/expectations, etc. but I do know one thing: you (and your wife) are, bar none, one of the most adaptive, flexible, resilient beings on the planet. Otherwise none of us, not a single one, would be here. Trust that, no matter what you are feeling.

I've held my landmate's 8 1/2 month old dead baby in my arms after induced labor. I've held women who lost babies due to miscarriage. I've been in the ICU for a friend's premie that wasn't expected to live (but did.)

And they are all now not just ok, but doing well. Feel what you need to feel, do not shirk that duty. Get to a safe place and yell, zone out, cry, kick a 5 gallon bucket to scraps, whatever. Then come home and be the man you want to be for your wife and relationship. And above all else, understand that it's gonna work out, even if it takes years. It'll work out, and do not judge how long that takes - it takes as long as it does.

Obviously, the opinions expressed here are the opinions of the author, and not projected on the opinions of the readers. Ymmv.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > orcim
03/04/2015 at 10:02

Thanks bud that was quite insightful.