Toyota Vellfire Van? Vut Ve Vell?

"webmonkees" (kayoteq-of-the-forest) 02/26/2015 at 09:00 • Filed to: Keep oppo weird, Toyota, Japan

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Some sort of fringe universe where the Pontiac Aztek continues to this day.

Actually, pretty impressive.

Cooler than many vans out now and in the past.. and hybrid, so eventually the high-capacity motiators of these chassis will find their way into a street racer, but I digress.

That's not quite the market. Escalade, perhaps? Wonder if they'll even try marketing it in the US?

Want to know more?

Oh, marketing. How about 8 minutes of hair-rock, slow-motion sequences and random tech demonstrations?

Sport Van. Shag carpet optional.

Get yer stinking paws off of my steering wheel you damn dirty..

actually, they look quite well groomed.

Still confused?

Maybe this will explain the vehicle better..

Okay, it's a 8-passenger giant modern Pontiac Aztek that has a talking gorilla for a spokesbeing.

But, Will it Store Spare Shoes?

"We have transported a dental office into a container you can drive. It is full of things to distract your passengers from the roving talking gorillas in the streets. You can store your shoes."

Yes.

Will I need to worry about talking gorilla hair in my used Alphard Vellfire?

They have inspectors for that.

Then it gets weird

Batman has, inexplicably, dealt with talking gorillas. So ask him vut is going on vere.

I know, cultural differences, but wow. That's some surreal.

And then there's the ad s.

Zohaibman72 > webmonkees 02/26/2015 at 09:10

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Oh come on, It's not even close to how ugly the Aztek is

The Vellfire (which is an awesome name, Aztek sounds like some eurodance group) has split headlights that don't look bad, while the Aztek has split bulbs and grille, looks like two ugly cars mashed together.

Also I want a Vellfire. They are amazing, Japanese vans are the coolest. I just don't like the way they did the side area.

Thats the old one BTW here is the new one:

that grille takes the predator face to another level

they should bring this as a Lexus. It's called Toyota Alphard in Japan. Vellfire in other markets.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > webmonkees 02/26/2015 at 09:21

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The B pillar treatment bugs me

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > webmonkees 02/26/2015 at 09:29

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Ugh, these things are everywhere in HK. So annoying.

Oneofsevenbillion > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut 02/26/2015 at 09:53

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it's our equivalent of the escalade/range rover/G Class

Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish > Zohaibman72 02/26/2015 at 10:06

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BRUH, THE AZTECS

webmonkees > Zohaibman72 02/26/2015 at 12:55

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I'd have to have both nameplates on it so it was the Alphard Vellfire.

Another way of putting my spin, it is 'as if the Aztec had continued on as Pontiac's Escallade.'

A few styling tweaks but some callbacks to the style..

The giant class just seems so wrong, though. Do they get a tax break for that configuration?

But I have a bias towards the small wonder-type vehicle.

Hey, there's that B-pillar.

webmonkees > TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut 02/26/2015 at 13:02

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I got the idea that it was like our Suburbans, with the exception that Suburbans take up the space formerly taken up by the prior generation of giant cars, so there's room. Seems worldwide, no way to convince anyone they're just driving a utility truck with leather..

As a company van? perhaps, In that plum crazy color.

TwinCharged - Is Now UK Opponaut > webmonkees 02/26/2015 at 20:46

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They're basically luxury limousines without the great length. In most that I see, they always driven around by a chauffeur. A good number of my schoolmates are picked up in them. The most luxurious models generally have captain chairs with armrests. They're expensive too - the hybrid version of the Vellfire/Alphard costs around US$90,000 in HK. And they're thirsty too - my neighbour has a Previa and I don't think he ever gets more than 25MPG.