Oppo-ration V8 Coffee Table

"yamahog" (yamahog) 02/16/2015 at 19:19 • Filed to: DIY, V8 Coffee Table

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Ever find yourself admiring the Top Gear coffee table, but find it sadly lacking in MERICA? Now you too can make a 150lb piece of another man's trash into your living room's treasure, in just 10 easy* steps!

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Step 1: Find yourself a nice, not-too-rusty engine block, like so. $100 on teh Craigslist, including all 8 pistons and forged connecting rods, fancy! This particular specimen is a 350 SBC out of a 1970something 3500 chassis cab.

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Step 2: Clean the block and 4 pistons. We outsourced this step to an engine shop in Warren. Cool dudes, charged us $90 for baking and shotpeening. We got it back with a coat of rust preventative oil on it:

Step 3: Get some lacquer thinner and brake cleaner and strip all that RPO off the nice clean block, or else the paint won't stick. Some flash rust may pop up, but don't worry, we'll take care of that next. Make sure to hoist it real redneck-like in your barn as shown, avoiding the gunshy hunting dog and 58 Chevy as you hoist.

Step 4: Lay an even base coat of cast paint. "BUT IT LOOKS THE SAME!" Well it's a cast iron block, so yea, but now it won't rust and looks better. Also note we are now hoisting by the rear main. If you ever plan on building the block, use a rope to prevent damage to the main cap. Ours is ART.

Step 5: Lower it again and sand the machined faces, following all local safety procedures as not shown. Remember kids, beer and power tools is not a cool combo but we're professional grade . Oooooh, shiny. We hit the decks, bell housing flange, timing cover and water pump passages. You'll have to pull the dowel pins that locate the cylinder heads. Plan on drilling those out.

Step 6: Hoist it again and start taping off everything that will remain machined or cast iron. Use some really good tape and a sharp razor to cut the edges. Everything you don't tape will be orange!

While your buddy gets stuck doing that (lol, sucker), sand down the pistons and spray them aluminum so they will be pretty and not rusty. Disregard beer slushies. Yea, slushies, it was a little chilly.

Step 7: Spray on your Chevy Orange in light, even coats running the LENGTH on the block, avoid leaving dry spots.

Step 8: Get in the Jeep, be amazed it starts at -17, run to the podunk corner store and buy more firewood so you don't freeze.

Step 9: After giving it enough time to set.... THE BEST PART. SO SATISFYING. PULL. OFF. THE. TAPE! Slowly pull towards the unpainted area. Awwww yissss.

Lines so crisp.

Oh yea, the pistons. Those jabronis. Just throw some of that leftover cast paint on the connecting rods and clear coat 'em. Might need to grind down the skirts so as they will sit flush in their final spot.

Step 10: After making any touchups with lacquer thinner (if you pulled some orange onto the wrong spot), clearcoat the block to prevent rust, in multiple light even coats. Seeing a pattern?

LET IT DRY. DON'T PUT YOUR GRIMY FINGERS IN IT, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE!

Once it's ready, drag it inside, plop the connecting rods into the top cylinder head bolts (your bolt pattern may vary) and voilà. The finished product awaits some glass (tempered only, plz) and a scoot over to its final spot in the living room:

Not bad!

*Took about $500 (block, cleaning, paint, thinner, tempered glass), 6 hours, 2 cases of beer, 1/4 face-cord of firewood, 1 engineer, 1 ball bearing salesman, 1 GM retiree, more power tools than anticipated, and a home-cooked meal to complete.

Sweet Trav > yamahog 02/16/2015 at 19:26

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For those wondering, this was the inspiration for the paint scheme.

The GMPP LSX cast iron block.

lone_liberal > yamahog 02/16/2015 at 19:28

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Xyl0c41n3 > yamahog 02/16/2015 at 19:29

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Where can I order one engineer and one ball bearing salesman? Also, can I get a discount since this is Texas and we don't need no cords of firewood. I mean, unless you want to smoke a brisket, then... ok fine, keep the firewood in the purchase order, please. And add one brisket. ^_^

XJDano > yamahog 02/16/2015 at 19:30

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I'm working on it...

I have a V6 aluminum block I just stripped of the junk, it broke two of the connecting rods & bent the counter balance of the crankshaft.

The other is a 4.0 Jeep motor I will do for a buddies shop, & a 1.6 Miata motor I snagged for $20.

Projects are slow around here.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > yamahog 02/16/2015 at 19:31

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Yeah.... You're gonna have to give me the '58.

Sweet Trav > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback 02/16/2015 at 19:34

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My Dad has had that car since he was 13.

No chance you're getting it before I do.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > Sweet Trav 02/16/2015 at 19:39

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There are ways to arrange that.

Kidding of course

What model is it?

FJ80WaitinForaLSV8 > yamahog 02/16/2015 at 19:39

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Epic, looks beautiful.

yamahog > FJ80WaitinForaLSV8 02/16/2015 at 19:41

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Thanks :D

yamahog > XJDano 02/16/2015 at 19:43

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Good luck! And I'm thinking of turning my 4.0 into a wine rack or something if it ever bites the dust.

Sweet Trav > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback 02/16/2015 at 19:43

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It's a 58 Impala, 307 SBC and a Turbo-hydramatic 350; you can see next to it on the engibe stand my dad has a 348 W head big block with tri-power and a 4speed Saginaw gearbox for the restoration to commence in the spring.

DoYouEvenShift > yamahog 02/16/2015 at 19:47

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Id like to use one of these one day. Find a trashed aluminum LS block. Bare without the main caps it come out to a little under 100 lbs

XJDano > yamahog 02/16/2015 at 19:47

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I bought one for $100, sold stuff & block broke even, wasn't going to do it, but bought another for $50.

My plan is to use unistrut bolted where the oil pan was and casters on that.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > Sweet Trav 02/16/2015 at 19:50

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Ah the '58 Impala, I've always liked those. The restoration should be fun. Just swapping in the 348 and Saginaw or is there more to do?

I'm a big fan of late 50's GM vehicles of you cannot tell. My wallpaper is a 58 Task Force advert.

Sweet Trav > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback 02/16/2015 at 19:51

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It's going to be a full frame off restoration. I imagine Yamahog and I will be up there helping him a bit this summer.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > Sweet Trav 02/16/2015 at 19:56

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If you do help, one of you will definitely have to do some write ups about it. Sounds interesting.

camaroboy68ss > Sweet Trav 02/16/2015 at 19:56

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sweet love 58 impala! Also love those big w motors. My grandpa and I built a couple of them for various projects. Had a 61 impala that was a factory 348 car with Tri power and then built a 58 motor for his 34 ford coupe. Had 6x2s on that motor

JGrabowMSt > yamahog 02/16/2015 at 19:58

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Nice mismatched socks!

yamahog > JGrabowMSt 02/16/2015 at 19:59

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Whaddya mean, they're both Pumas!

Sweet Trav > DoYouEvenShift 02/16/2015 at 19:59

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Ours is only like 130lbs ish bare. I can carry it by myself and I'm not a burly dude.

aluminum blocks look sweet too

Jeff-God-of-Biscuits > yamahog 02/16/2015 at 20:00

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I keep hittin it Mom, but this damn pinata feels like its made outta freakin metal!

Coty > yamahog 02/16/2015 at 20:06

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I thought you were joking. Dear god that's pretty.

Sweet Trav > Xyl0c41n3 02/16/2015 at 20:09

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Mmmmmmm brisket...

Sweet Trav > Coty 02/16/2015 at 20:26

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Here's a full shot of the car and my dad after he pulled it out of storage.

Coty > Sweet Trav 02/16/2015 at 20:27

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I know yo said he was restoring it, but damn I'd drive it exactly like that.

Sweet Trav > Coty 02/16/2015 at 20:29

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It's a lot rougher than it looks in that picture. Plus my dad is a perfectionist.

Coty > Sweet Trav 02/16/2015 at 20:32

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If it's old, the worse the paint and stuff like that is, the better for me. I get that not everyone is like that though. I'm playing with the idea of getting this '68 Olds that has pretty much no paint on it.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > yamahog 02/16/2015 at 20:47

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I have a 302 block I've given up on rebuilding because lack of funds. If I decide to do a table as well, could you help me? :p

yamahog > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 02/16/2015 at 20:50

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If you want, but if you have enough to make a table out of it, you probably have enough to rebuild it.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > yamahog 02/16/2015 at 21:42

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Really? It needs heads and all those accessories and whatnot.

More Power!!and also some brakes. > yamahog 02/16/2015 at 22:22

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I have a big block Ford one, that sumnabitch is heaaaaaavy!

uofime > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 02/17/2015 at 09:48

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I think she means that for the 500 dollars she has into this table you could scrounge together enough parts (mostly used obviously) to get a running SBC.

Matt Kirsch > yamahog 02/17/2015 at 22:40

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Not sure if it's your style but you could throw a small LED in each cylinder bore. I'm not a wine guy but it look incredible as a combined table/wine rack with lit up wine bottles in each bore.

yamahog > Matt Kirsch 02/18/2015 at 08:27

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We do have a strip of IKEA LEDs hanging around, a friend of mine did that with his big block coffee table and it looked pretty cool :) I generally don't have that many unopened wine bottles at a time though, lol

doodon2whls > yamahog 02/18/2015 at 13:06

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This is great stuff... Congratulations for going through with the whole build.

I know it is just a coffee table and you don't plan on dancing on it, but the engineer inside me cringes at the placement of the piston/con-rods where the con-rod ends are not supported.

Consider moving their location to the end of the block on each corner - past the bores - where the con-rod will be supported on each side.

Like so:

yamahog > doodon2whls 02/18/2015 at 14:46

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Yea, me too. The plan is to fab up a bracket so we don't have to wreck the block welding or drilling a second hole for the rod since none of them sat perfectly spaced and sized as-is.

Sweet Trav > doodon2whls 02/18/2015 at 14:52

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A: the hardened rod bolts fit perfectly snug. The flanged and textures shaft of the rod bolt fits perfectly, and holds better than you'd think. These are more than adequate for the load. An engineer you should know that that instant load placed on any one rod bolt at 5000+ rpm is higher than a 260 lb man dancing on the table. I mean hey, tequila makes me do weird things...

B. All of those designs above involve damaging the block. By drilling another hole. This was something we do not wish to do to an otherwise perfectly serviceable 4-bolt main 350. Plus I'm a rotten welder.

C. This placement makes the table a bit taller which we are ok with. Unlike it's contemporaries the Small Block Chevy has Five head bolts per cylinder as opposed to the four on BOP, SBF and LS motors. The center top head bolt hole is the perfect place for the piston to set.

Sweet Trav > yamahog 02/18/2015 at 15:01

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a bracket would be ugly... maybe just press out the second unsupported rod bolt...

yamahog > Sweet Trav 02/18/2015 at 15:07

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Bro, I've designed brackets on fighter jets. I think I can handle it.

doodon2whls > Sweet Trav 02/18/2015 at 15:57

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Easy there, Travis.

A: Your logic is flawed. Everything about a con-rod's design is done to withstand tension and compression with negligible moments about any of it's attachment points. You stuck one stud (of two) into the block and have the con-rod at ~45* angle, so there will be a significant bending moment about the stud/block interface. I wouldn't dance on that and you shouldn't either.

B: There are perfectly good drilled and tapped bolt holes on the ends of the block. Using a single bolt in that hole with the other side of the con-rod simply resting on the deck (if you push out the other stud) is a better configuration (strength-wise) than what you have now.

Like so:

C: The bolt holes I am suggesting you use are maybe 1.5-2" 'down' the face of the deck. On a 45* angle, that's about 1" - 1.4" vertical - not a huge change, and you could easily make that up by building a wooden base with feet for the bottom of the block.

It wasn't (and still isn't) my intention to start a flame war with my comments. I am just adding my $0.02 from experience. You are welcome to ignore me. Looks like a fun project.

Little Black Coupe Turned Silver > yamahog 02/18/2015 at 17:25

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Oh hey. I clicked on "Newsfeed" on that Wheelwell place, and apparently it's a free for all of showing people. I found you, wanna be friends?

yamahog > Little Black Coupe Turned Silver 02/18/2015 at 18:28

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Friend-ed!

Mattbob > yamahog 02/19/2015 at 11:45

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All of this is awesome.

Mattbob > yamahog 02/19/2015 at 12:18

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that would be the heaviest wine rack ever, but you could hold all but the largest magnum bottles.

Lazarus > DoYouEvenShift 04/29/2015 at 16:38

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Are ya kidding? You can buy a Silverado with a worn-out aluminum 5.3 for something like a nickel!

DoYouEvenShift > Lazarus 04/29/2015 at 16:46

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That is correct, go to a machine shop and theyll probably let you have one thats laying around.