"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
02/11/2015 at 12:42 • Filed to: Old people
2
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"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
02/11/2015 at 12:42 • Filed to: Old people | 2
| 13 |
I've noticed something about old people. Give an old person a device connected to an email account, and they will magically begin forwarding chain letters. I call this phenomenon, the Old People Email Forwarding Network™. My grandpa is a member.
My grandpa strongly believes everyone in our family needs to know about all the stupid shit his old people friends send him that they probably forwarded from 83 other old people.
I have a gmail filter that automatically marks his forwarded emails as read. Occasionally he changes something that sneaks a forward past the filter. I've had to tweak my filter a couple times this week from these variations.
I've told him check Snopes.com to see if it's real or just another BS chain letter. I thought this would slow down his forwarding pace, but all he did was forward more shit and say, "I checked on Snopes.com, this is REAL!" when forwarding.
When he asks me if I saw some email he sent me, I tell him if I missed it, it was because he forwards so much stuff I can't tell if an email from him is actually just sent to me. He usually expresses shock that I don't read every single forward.
My grandpa has even "forwarded" me entire books he thinks I need to read. I've randomly received packages with Alan Greenspan's autobiography and The Travels of a T-Shirt In The Global Economy. He just went on Amazon and was like, "Mike needs to read this" and sent the books to me. Not as a birthday or Hanukkah present. Totally unanounced.
At this point, I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that unless I smash his computer to bits, he's going to keep forwarding this shit. He can't help himself. He wakes up, he and my grandma go down to the cafeteria in their retirement community to get some breakfast where he goes to the omelet station and orders an intentionally-undercooked Egg Beaters omelet, then hi shimmies back up to their apartment where he hops on the computer, skims through what I'm sure are hundreds of forwarded emails from all his old people buddies, carefully selects the ones he thinks are best, and forwards them to my whole family.
At least he's not !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , or !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
Kate's Dirty Sister
> Textured Soy Protein
02/11/2015 at 12:45 |
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Chain emails migrated to Facebook years ago, so did the old folks.
TheHondaBro
> Textured Soy Protein
02/11/2015 at 12:46 |
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He's watching porn.
CalzoneGolem
> Textured Soy Protein
02/11/2015 at 12:52 |
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You'll miss it one of these days.
415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)
> Textured Soy Protein
02/11/2015 at 12:53 |
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My grandpa will write a letter on any piece of paper in reach and mail it. My mom had this forwarding problem for a little while but its over now. I hate it when they have a texting conversation about some family thing and they all add me into it.
Mattbob
> Textured Soy Protein
02/11/2015 at 12:55 |
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My dad is just starting to get to the age/political extremism where he forwards stuff like this. I told him I have a rule: If an email has more than 2 text colors or fonts, it gets deleted without reading. This is usually a pretty good filter for that garbage. He was slightly offended for my insinuation that he is getting old and crazy.
spanfucker retire bitch
> Textured Soy Protein
02/11/2015 at 13:01 |
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Thankfully I know not a single soul part of the OPEF Network.
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Textured Soy Protein
> CalzoneGolem
02/11/2015 at 13:10 |
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That's kinda why I have his filter set to mark as read rather than delete. So it's at least there when I open my email but I'm not getting notifications all the time.
jariten1781
> Textured Soy Protein
02/11/2015 at 13:12 |
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When my grandma was still around she never figured out the email thing. Instead I'd get regular (sometimes multiple per day) phone calls asking if I'd heard something or other that was going around the retirement community via email chain letters.
"No grandma, I hadn't heard they were purposefully adding hormones to milk to lower peoples IQs so some shady group could control the populace. Thanks for the heads up!"
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Textured Soy Protein
> Mattbob
02/11/2015 at 13:19 |
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In the past year or two my grandpa has become increasingly bigoted towards Muslims. We're Jewish and he has always been a big Israel supporter, but now he's starting to forward stuff that's decidedly prejudiced.
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Textured Soy Protein
> Kate's Dirty Sister
02/11/2015 at 13:27 |
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This is why I refuse to connect with any of my older relatives on Facebook.
Jonee
> Textured Soy Protein
02/11/2015 at 13:29 |
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I probably get the same emails you do from my dad. There's really nothing you can do. I showed my father Snopes and that helped for a while, but then he got it in his head Snopes is an Obama shill, so now that avenue is out and I just ignore them. It's sad. We've lost an entire generation to the internet and it's not the one most people think.
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Mattbob
> Textured Soy Protein
02/11/2015 at 13:45 |
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Every time my dad pulls up the drudge report in front of me to argue a point, I just walk away. I know the feeling.
ranwhenparked
> Textured Soy Protein
02/11/2015 at 17:36 |
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I used to get those, now I just see the same stuff pop up on Facebook. In that case, it isn't just old people I'm connected with, but younger idiots too. Gullible old people are more likely to go for political and/or borderline racialist stuff, gullible young people fall for the "ghost hunter" and "time traveler evidence" stuff. Seriously, Facebook is the worst now.