An unheard-of excitement level for Olive Garden

"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
02/10/2015 at 15:45 • Filed to: None

At my job, we occasionally have catered meals for meetings. I just got an email requesting my lunch order of soup, salad and breadsticks from Olive Garden. This is the second time we've had a catered lunch of soup, salad and breadsticks from Olive Garden. Which people around here are genuinely excited about.

I refuse to get excited about a pile of iceberg lettuce with a few onions, tomatoes olives and banana peppers thrown in it. Oh, don't forget the manufactured croutons. Mmm, manufactured croutons.

I refuse to get excited about those breadsticks everyone seems to love so much but to me taste like someone took the spongy preservative-laden "Italian" bread you find on the shelf at the grocery store (not the bakery section), brushed it with some butter and sprinkled on some garlic powder and dried oregano. Even if they " !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ."

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I refuse to get excited about some overly-salty soup that was cooked who-knows-how-long ago, with mushy vegetables and pasta, canned beans, and a flavor profile comprised of salt, salt and more salt.

I mean seriously, minestrone is so easy to make from scratch and be fantastic. It's also easy to do in a completely mediocre way if you just don't give a fuck.

Oh boy oh boy I'm so excited for this stupid 2.5-hour long meeting where lots of people will have opinions , and those opinions will be hashed and re-hashed, mostly for the sake of humoring the people with the opinions, while I snack on iceberg lettuce, lukewarm Campbell's-grade soup, and spongy breadsticks.

At least it'll ensure I'll have a day where someone doesn't fumigate my office by !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

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DISCUSSION (24)

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Textured Soy Protein
02/10/2015 at 15:50

Never heard of Olive Garden actually, but that shit does not look good.

Textured Soy Protein > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh
02/10/2015 at 15:52

It is a wholly-mediocre Italian chain restaurant. Their gimmick is when you come for dinner you get unlimited salad (in a giant plastic bowl with a pair of tongs in it) and breadsticks.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Textured Soy Protein
02/10/2015 at 15:53

It's funny how none of those options are good, solid, tomato sauce-based Italian foods. You know, the kind of foods that keep well for a long time without going squirrely, and are even hard for fast food chains to get actively *wrong*. Did I say funny? I actually meant tragic, but I'm still laughing at you.

CalzoneGolem > Textured Soy Protein
02/10/2015 at 15:53

I love soup and salad from Olive Garden, but fuck those bread sticks!

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Textured Soy Protein
02/10/2015 at 15:56

So they give you cheap stuff for free, and you'll pay a premium for some mediocre shit? That's the idea? :)

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Textured Soy Protein
02/10/2015 at 15:56

My girlfriend wants to go to Olive Garden for Valentine's Day. I'm going to be forced to spend like $40 on us for the same level of food I could pay $20 for a Fazzolis and get more of.

pdubizon > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
02/10/2015 at 16:04

Hmm, methinks you are getting off pretty easy with Olive Garden being the choice for Valentine's Dinner.

As disgusting as it is, $40 for a "special occasion" dinner is downright cheap.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > pdubizon
02/10/2015 at 16:05

Side note: I'm in high school with no job.

uofime > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
02/10/2015 at 16:09

Look on the bright side, you could have a girl who wants to go to an actual nice place and spend 100+.

Also, what's the problem? You have a BMW you must be rich! /s

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > CalzoneGolem
02/10/2015 at 16:11

Do you, now. O_o

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > uofime
02/10/2015 at 16:12

True. But still, I'd rather spend $40 on something better than Olive Gardeen.

CalzoneGolem > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
02/10/2015 at 16:16

What? It is consensual!

uofime > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
02/10/2015 at 16:17

well, suggest someplace else to her

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > CalzoneGolem
02/10/2015 at 16:17

The soup and salad don't mind?

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > uofime
02/10/2015 at 16:19

Maybe I can coax her into a decent steak house... But it comes down to whatever she wants.

Rico > Textured Soy Protein
02/10/2015 at 16:22

Olive Garden's food is so damn salty it's ridiculous. That being said after reading that you sound like you need a blunt and a stiff drink after all these "opinions" you are going to be forced to listen to.

CalzoneGolem > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
02/10/2015 at 16:22

I dunno I eat them so they aren't around to see. This may or may not be consensual.

uofime > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
02/10/2015 at 16:28

Find something that makes you both happy and it'll be a much better date.

Also, pro tip make a reservation.

area man > pdubizon
02/10/2015 at 16:38

ha, forreal. I was lucky to escape my girl's birthday dinner for under $250.

area man > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
02/10/2015 at 16:39

I miss those days...

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > Textured Soy Protein
02/10/2015 at 16:42

parody the bad video quality

2BWise > Textured Soy Protein
02/10/2015 at 16:47

I'd be giddy like your coworkers. I hate to admit it but Olive Garden is a guilty pleasure of mine. I'll gorge myself on salad and breadsticks and eat half the entree. Its by no means anything special but for some reason I just love the place. Maybe its that I can ask for fourth and fifth servings and not feel shame.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Logansteno: Bought a VW?
02/10/2015 at 16:57

Dude, invite her to a homemade dinner (if you can that is). A homemade dinner will rock the socks of her :)

Frank Grimes > Textured Soy Protein
02/10/2015 at 21:12

I ate there once and there was plastic strings in my pasta. How hard is it to not have plastic in pasta when you put it in the boiling water or when you take it out and plate it? How does one not notice it?