Having some real issues. 

"Desu-San-Desu" (Desu-San-Desu) 12/29/2015 at 14:59 • Filed to: None

2

52

I feel like I need to write this out and let you guys know what’s going on in my life right now. Things are bad. I’ve been absent a lot because I’ve been trying to get things on track, but my forward progress has been blasted backwards over and over again since the summer.

Two months ago, I had a nervous breakdown. My job in construction and the working environment, along with the people I worked with, finally got to me. I was at the job site and I couldn’t stop thinking about hurting myself or worse. I just saw no future in front of me worth living. I had enough of a moment of clarity to know that I needed help. I also knew that as soon as I admitted these things and the need for help, I would lose my nuclear clearance badge. I did it anyway.

I left that job on good terms with my employer and supervisors. They understood and encouraged me to go seek help. So I did. I went home and talked to my fiancee. She knew the stress I’d been under and the toll it was taking me. She knew I have been struggling with suicidal ideation, depression, and anxiety for nearly my entire life. She knew how tiring even existing was more me. At this point, we were already a little behind on a few bills and didn’t have any savings, but we decided that was better than me ending it all if something didn’t change.

The next day, she went with me to the local mental health clinic.

They kept me there and had me speak with a number of doctors and professionals. I left with a prescription for Seroquel XR for the anxiety and feeling a little better. I began browsing job postings and submitted a resume. The next day I had an interview and the following Monday I started my first day of work at the new job. I was working through a temp agency at a company who buys jobsite and factory surplus at auctions, reconditions and refurbishes is, and resells it online. It seemed like a good fit for me even though it was a $5 an hour pay cut. My fiancee and I agreed that we could tough it out until my 90 days was through and I got hired on full-time and got bumped to $15 dollars per hour, almost as much as I’d been making doing construction with a third of the commute and less severe hours.

A few weeks before this all happened, her minivan, a 1996 Ford Windstar 3.8L, overheated to the point that it shut off and couldn’t be restarted for nearly an hour. She limped it home and I listened to it. You could hear the oil bubbling. I placed in an order for a water pump and thermostat and we parked it, saying to ourselves that we could make it work with just my Mini Cooper until the van was fixed.

Forward to my new job. After a month or so, I was feeling better about life, even if finances were very tight. The Seroquel made me sleepy for a large part of the day, yes, but I was also far less stressed and anxious. I was also less exhausted. So that weekend I went home and changed out the thermostat in the van. If that didn’t fix the issue, I would have to clear out space in the garage and go through the arduous task of replacing the water pump. But I decided to see if just the thermostat would make a difference.

Swapping in the old for the new went smoothly enough. I flushed the coolant and jumped the battery and cranked the van and let it idle for a while to get up to operating temperature to see if the thermostat would kick in. After some smokey and smelly idling, the thermostat apparently opened as the temperature gauge normalized at the halfway mark and the fans began kicking on as intended. I was about the cut it off and call it a day when it began to knock. It was an uneven, irregular knock, but definitely a rod knock. As best as I can tell, one of the bearings ate it from the overheating.

We didn’t have the money for a rebuild. So we decided to clean the van up and see if we could sell it privately and try and use that money to try and get the Audi on the road. That was a week before I was fired. The reason they gave me was because my eBay items sales weren’t meeting revenue expectations. I was the third person in 2 weeks to lose their job for that same reason. That was a week before Christmas. That weekend the heating element on our dryer went out on us.

I was out of work for a little over a week before the father of my fiancee’s sons, who is still a part of their lives and visits often, got me a job as a delivery driver at the pizza joint where he works. It’s minimum wage plus tips, but at least it’s work, right? Right. At this point we were caught up on all of our bills except for power and water.

The day after I was offered the job, I saw my doctor (already had an appointment) at the mental health center and explained that the Seroquel made me too groggy and unproductive and I didn’t feel like it would be safe to continue taking it while working as a delivery driver. After a long discussion and weighing multiple options, we concluded on trying me on a minimal dosage of generic Adderall. Our reasoning was that if I was more energetic, better able to focus, and more productive, I would be less frustrated, anxious, and depressed due to my lack of progress on a day-to-day basis. And those first few days seemed to verify that. The Adderall seems to be having the desired effects, but even if can’t help much with what followed soon thereafter.

My first day on the job was Saturday night. It went smoothly, even if it was a slow night. I enjoyed the work and liked my co-workers and had every intent of working my way up to management as fast as possible. I had the next day, Sunday, off. On Sunday I was driving through my neighborhood on the way to run a couple errands when I got a call from my manager asking if I could come in that night to cover another driver who called in sick. I told it I would do so gladly and would see him in a few hours. 5 minutes later I pulled up to a stop at an intersection when when went to put the car back into first, the pedal felt very soft and I was locked out of the gearbox. I could not get it into any gear. I put on my flashers and tried pumping the pedal. Didn’t work. Tried rev-matching it into gear. No luck. Eventually I just cut it off and tried putting it in gear. That worked. I put it into 2nd and restarted the car.

It drove fine like this and I was able to drive it in second through our neighborhood on my way back home without any problems, so long as I didn’t try and change gears. Once I got home, I called my manager and told him what happened. He understood and got someone else to cover the hours.

2 days, one slave cylinder, 3 nights in the garage with a couple more-knowledgeable buddies, hundreds of Facebook and forum exchanges and inquiries and discussions, and two more covered shifts later, I’m sitting here in my den, surrounded by clothes and linens air drying because we still can’t afford to fix the dryer, and I’m just feeling numb panic deep in my chest that just won’t go away. The car still will not go into gear. Our initial diagnosis was the slave cylinder, as they have a high failure rate. The new slave cylinder is installed, but is incredibly complicated to bleed due to a bad design. 6-hours of bleeding last night has led to no more air in the line and decent pedal feel, but the new slave is still not articulating the lever arm enough to disengage the clutch.

I can get it in gear with the car off, but we haven’t tried driving like that since changing out the slave cylinder. The release fork bushings are audible squeaking, but that is fairly common as they are ungreased and made of plastic. The release fork lever arm has the appropriate amount of play and resistance but we don’t have a method of trying to test its full range of motion with the slave cylinder removed.

After consulting with many many people familiar with R53s Mini Cooper S’s, we have narrowed it down to either the master cylinder, which can sometimes fail alongside the slave due to being overworked) or the release bearing inside the transmission.

I spent my remaining few dollars on ordering a new master cylinder which will be here in the morning. My manager has pushed out my schedule tomorrow to the PM shift and is being very understanding and flexible. Most places would have fired me by now. But I fear that if I don’t get it running tomorrow, I’m going to be out of chances.

If the master cylinder does not fix it, I am out of options. I do not have the tools or equipment to drop the transmission and even if I did, I’m out of money. I have $349 to my name with a family of 4 and I have my car payment on the 2nd of January. My financing company is one of those bad-credit companies that will finance you at a higher interest rate, but will enforce a repossession if you’re even one day late. I am about $1,000 upside down on the car not including the repairs it needs.

I bought the car at a time when finances and expenses were a tiny bit more comfortable and it was a way for me to get a daily driver and build my auto credit while I diagnosed the issues with the Audi. Now, a week before my 1-year anniversary of buying the Mini, we have 3 vehicles and none of them run. The van still hasn’t sold and needs a new motor and probably a new transmission. The Audi needs new rear suspension components, potentially has a warped rear right wheel, needs a new distributor, and has a massive oil leak that I’m fairly certain is coming from the cam or crank seal, and the Mini either needs a master cylinder or a whole new clutch.

If I want to make my car payment, that leaves me $47. If the Mini is fixed, I have to live on that until my first full paycheck, which immediately has to go towards rent and my insurance. If the Mini doesn’t get fixed...I don’t know what I’m going to do.

I just don’t know.

I’m desperate. I’m scared. I’m trying to stay motivated and stay focused on doing what I can. I thought it was stressful having a fiancee with two special needs children and some issues of her own, but we were making it work. Between the SSI for her youngest son, who is fully disabled, some EBT assistance for food, voluntary child support from Tim, and my limited income, we were able to make ends meet but never had enough to get fully caught up on things or set aside emergency savings. We always tried to stay optimistic and make plans to improve our situation. But the minor emergencies kept popping up and now I’m out of resources to handle the current situation.

I’m looking at losing my Mini and it breaks my heart. I have never loved a car as much as this one. Not even the Audi. If I lose the Mini, I still don’t have enough to get the Audi reliable. All of my attempts at selling the van have been met with zero interest. Even offering my Audi for sale to the members of the local Euro Car Club has had no offers of interest. We’re behind on our water and power bills and rent and car payment are a week away. The wiggle room on making it another month is non-existent at this point.

My entire future at this point is hinging on a $70 clutch master cylinder from O’Reilly Auto Parts.

I apologize for the rambling nature of this and any typos or grammatical errors present. I didn’t sleep well last night I’m just sort of...half here right now. I’m overwhelmed but I felt a need to kind of write this out and let someone know what I’m feeling.

I’m going to be honest with you guys. If this falls apart and I wind up having to start over from scratch all over again...I don’t know if I can. I’m just so tired from trying. I should probably talk to my therapist about that, but in the meantime, I’m just going to keep researching the issue and hinging my hopes on that master cylinder.

CB > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 15:14

0

I have nothing to add, other than to not give up hope and keep on truckin’. If there’s anything we can do to help, let us know.

finn's arm > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 15:14

1

Hang in there Desu!

davedave1111 > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 15:15

0

1) It’s never as bad as it seems. Being the poorest person in the richest country on earth isn’t a death sentence, it’s just shitty and humiliating for a while, but you can get through it.

2) Doctors way over-diagnose anxiety and depression in my experience, rather than seeing them as common symptoms of sleep deprivation. Speed is the last thing you want to be taking if that’s so in your case. If you feel that might apply to you, have a word with your doctor making it very clear which you think is the cause and which the symptom. There are a variety of drowsiness-inducing antidepressants that should help either way.

3) As far as practical advice goes, have you considered just selling everything you can, borrowing anything anyone will lend you, and moving a long way from where you are now? Like, to Europe or something?

Future next gen S2000 owner > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 15:21

0

I’ll just throw this out there. Please realize I may be way off base and have zero personal knowledge of you or your family.

The Army.

I knew several people who were pretty bad off and joined. Yeah it sucks, but it is a solid paycheck with benefits.

Hope you get on your feet soon.

Margin Of Error > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 15:27

0

Damn.

And your fiancee, can she work to help out a bit, seems like it’s all on you.

Desu-San-Desu > Future next gen S2000 owner 12/29/2015 at 15:27

0

I tried enlisting a while back. I aced, literally aced, the ASVAB. I dropped 13 lbs in two weeks to make weight. I easily met the exercise requirements in terms of pushups, situps, and the running. I was getting ready to pack for MEPs when they saw my history of mental illness and the medications I’ve been on and immediately disqualified me from enlisting or being drafted.

Tripper > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 15:27

0

Fellow R53 owner here. From our cooper to yours, here’s hoping that your MC does the trick.

I’ve also battled anxiety, everyone is different but I had a terrible experience with what they prescribed. I went to my family doctor and described something that happened to me, the doctor called it a panic attack and sent me packing with a prescription for something that turned me into a zombie. I can’t believe how they can prescribe such a serious medication over one conversation and a guess diagnosis!

To be honest, yoga is what got me over the hump. That and leaving work at work.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 15:27

0

when I got fired I went into some small time residential construction. simple stuff like sheetrock/trimwork/painting a room could be relaxing.

Desu-San-Desu > Tripper 12/29/2015 at 15:31

0

I love my doctor. She listens to me and takes my concerns very seriously. We discuss every medication thoroughly and she is open to any suggestions I have from my own research. Adderall worked well for me as a child but I they switched me to something else when we moved and changed doctors.

The main issue now is I forget to eat and have trouble sleeping, but those can be easily handled.

Andy Sheehan, StreetsideStig > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 15:32

0

Praying for you, bro. Keep us updated.

Berang > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 15:37

0

“The reason they gave me was because my eBay items sales weren’t meeting revenue expectations. I was the third person in 2 weeks to lose their job for that same reason.”

Gotta love Henry the 8th style management...

daender > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 15:41

0

...Shit, I wish I could help out somehow but I don’t have the cash nor anything physical to help you with at this time. Have you already tried https://www.usajobs.gov/ ?

itschrome > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 15:42

0

Aw man Have I been there! I felt like i was reading about my life a few years back, hard up for work/money not really getting back, falling deeper in the hole. Depressed, suicidal, anxiety ridden, the works! I have no sage advise on how to get through this, but I can tell you this with certainty; it gets better. It always gets better, unless you roll over and give up life will always get better. You may struggle, you may find your self moving backwards, but given enough time, things get better.

Fast forward a few years I have been working stable for 2.5 years, making livable money, finally almost out of that debt hole (my credit is shot but I’ll rebuild), have a good woman and a decent car. I stumble from time to time but I always look back on the bad times to remember how good the good times really are.

I’ve been medicated, unmedicated, remedicated and so on. Takes a while to find what works for you. I I’m not on anxiety or depression meds any more my self, I haven’t even felt any of those things in a while now. I did how ever stay on the adderall(I”M SOOO PRODUCTIVE NOW!!!) and the sleeping pills as sleep and focus have always been a loosing battle for me. How ever that’s me. How ever never underestimate your need for sleep, esp when times are less than good. Also try not to let negative thinking get the better of you. Remeber negative thoughts, lead to negative feelings which cause negative actions which lead to negative results. The inverse is also true, positive thoughts, lead to positive feelings that lead to positive actions which leads to positive results. even when it seems hard try to be positive about your life and situations. As corny as those words are, it truly does help you feel better when you feed positivity vs when you feed negativity. this is true with what you feed your psyche as well, be careful of negative inputs, such as music, movies, ect as well. Don;t feed the beast!

Hang in there buddy, You’re well on your way to better times!

Trevor Slattery, ACTOR > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 15:46

0

Hang in there man. I understand your mental battles. Adulthood is no fun for a lot of us without a ton of savings.

Ex. President Mack41 > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 15:47

0

Get rid of the R53 mini S and Audi and get something that will get you to work.

Desu-San-Desu > Berang 12/29/2015 at 15:47

0

I literally got a call from another person who still works there about 10 minutes after posting this. They fired 22 people yesterday. The company is on the verge of bankruptcy and is down to a skeleton crew.

Desu-San-Desu > Ex. President Mack41 12/29/2015 at 15:51

0

You make it sound so easy.

BrtStlnd > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 15:54

1

Would the original construction place you left take you back?

Ex. President Mack41 > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 15:54

3

I'm not saying it is. But reading all that you wrote those cars are huge stressors in your life and aren't helping you feel better. Getting rid of them and getting one reliable old Camry or something could do you a world of good mentally and emotionally. Obviously you know what's best for you and your situation and I hope it works out.

Berang > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 15:55

0

Well at you least you can see it as getting out before the real disaster.

I’m sure you’ll find something better soon enough.

BrtStlnd > BrtStlnd 12/29/2015 at 15:57

0

Also, would you qualify for SSI or something similar based on your mental health?

Desu-San-Desu > Ex. President Mack41 12/29/2015 at 16:01

1

At the moment, I don’t really know how I can get the cash to get something cheap and reliable in time to save my current situation. The Audi and the van are not hot sellers the craigslist ads I posted resulted in no inquiries and I took them down on Saturday so I could clean the van up some more and take better pictures. At the time, I’d decided against selling the Audi ad just saving up to fix it when I could. But as of right now I have no income stream or savings. Everything hinges on the master cylinder fixing the Mini. I haven’t had a lick of trouble out of it up until now and was planning on using tax money to do some preventative maintenance on it and put some work into the Audi. The timing is what’s killing me.

I guess I’ll know where I stand by this time tomorrow.

Desu-San-Desu > Berang 12/29/2015 at 16:02

0

I’d planned on tightening our belts even more for a while while doing the pizza delivery thing. If I can fast-track my way up to assistant management, I’d be making enough that we’d be okay again.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 16:21

0

Life certainly seems like it has you by the balls right now. Everyone has their low points, where the odds seem insurmountable. Yet sonehow, there is a way things will work out. When you get a chance, send me an email to pjgruden at gmail.

supra-squirrel > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 16:33

0

Stay strong man. The oppo community is here for you and it does get better.

The suggestion about surrounding yourself with positivity is very true, I highly recommend Disney kids radio on Pandora, if only to help clear ones head.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 16:37

1

What about donating plasma or... The other one that broke guys like to do. Those can pay fairly well. I’ve never done the second one myself but I donated plasma twice a week all through college, if not for that I wouldn’t have made it through.

Does the Ford run and drive? It sounds like it’s basically a parts car at this point, not really worth anything. If it isn’t overheating and can drive, pour in a bottle of Lucas heavy duty oil stabilizer. It’s just a bandage, but it might be enough to quiet down the knock. Then if the motor blows (if it’s just a noise it probably won’t for quite a while), you’re really no worse off than you are now.

Good luck with the mini. If you’re in the PNW I’ll do the clutch for free on it to help you out (labor-wise) if the master doesn’t do it.

Don’t give up. I know how hard depression and anxiety can be to live with, my wife has them, sometimes to the point of being debilitating. It’s always a struggle, but it’s worth it, life has a way of evening out the lows with new highs later on.

pauljones > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 16:45

2

Well, there is one small, tiny light in all of this dark: at least you and I aren’t driving Saturns anymore.

Remember those shitbuckets that we had five years ago?

BrtStlnd > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 12/29/2015 at 17:07

0

I did drug studies through a good portion of college. It beat a part time job and I could study for hours or bring my PS2 and play Madden all weekend.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > BrtStlnd 12/29/2015 at 17:12

0

Never thought of that one, great idea!

Desu-San-Desu > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 12/29/2015 at 17:24

0

Thanks for the offer on the clutch, but I’m in South Carolina. :-)

I’m not sure if my medications would preclude me from donating plasma, but I’ll look into it.

The Windstar does run and drive and I may try the Lucas. But the battery is gone on it and if it is still having overheating issues, then it won’t be reliable enough to do my delivery job. If I lose this job and can find one within a couple miles of home, I may see if I can make it work.

Desu-San-Desu > BrtStlnd 12/29/2015 at 17:25

0

Man, BRT, I hate having you see me in this situation. It’s a huge blow to my pride and I feel like such a huge disappointment. But once again, you come in with some great advice. I’m not familiar with how drug studies work- could you explain it to me briefly?

Desu-San-Desu > BrtStlnd 12/29/2015 at 17:30

0

The construction job, no. I already inquired. Because of my mental issues, I can’t get badged at the nuclear plant where we were contracted. I don’t know if I would qualify for SSI. I’ve heard it’s very difficult to get approved for mental health reasons but I can look into it.

Desu-San-Desu > pauljones 12/29/2015 at 17:33

0

Amen, Paul. Amen. I may be in a pickle right now, but at least I’m not out on the street yet like I was then. I have more avenues of opportunity than I did then. Sure, now I have a family to worry about it, but they’re also a motivating factor for me.

Even at it’s worst, the Audi was never as bad as that Saturn and the Mini has been first-crank reliable since I bought it a year ago. This is the first time it’s had an issue requiring garage time.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > pauljones 12/29/2015 at 17:34

0

To be fair, aren’t those kind of like cochroaches? Even if you want them dead, they won’t completely die?

Desu-San-Desu > daender 12/29/2015 at 17:35

0

I’ve kept an eye on the government jobs in my area but so far the very very few that I’m qualified to perform that I’ve applied to have resulted in no call-backs.

BrtStlnd > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 17:36

0

They’re usually testing generic allergy drugs to see how long they stay in your blood after dosing.

You’re sequestered for a certain period and they draw your blood at regular intervals. Usually you have to stay overnight or fir a weekend with s group of strangers, which sucks sometimes but it seriously funded my college expenses.

Just google it and I bet you find something.

Desu-San-Desu > OPPOsaurus WRX 12/29/2015 at 17:36

0

I’ve looked into it and I keep an eye on the local job postings. Not many crews around here are hiring and the ones that do seem to all require you to have your own tools, most of which I don’t have.

Desu-San-Desu > BrtStlnd 12/29/2015 at 17:39

0

I’ll look into it. Thank you.

daender > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 17:48

0

Damn! I tried talking to pops, he wasn’t able to find anything once I mentioned the mental stuff. If you took some good photos of the Audi and/or the Freestar (if it comes to it, the Mini), then you could try selling it on SCR-SOLO with a brief description of why you’re selling it and what’s up with it. Dunno who’s looking for an Audi or cheap van right now but it’s worth a shot if you’re willing to take it!

Desu-San-Desu > daender 12/29/2015 at 17:59

1

I can’t sell the Mini unless someone wants to take over payments on it. I have 2 more years left on my loan. I was hoping to refinance at 18 months.

The Audi is really obscure and not much of a sought-after item. The van is more likely to sell but I’ll be lucky to get a few hundred for either in the shape they’re in. If the Audi was in better running conditions, it’d be worth a lot more but as it stands, I don’t see if selling.

I’d honestly feel irresponsible selling it because that leaves us with just the one vehicle. I at least own the Audi outright with no payments. The hard part is just affording the suspension parts and the distributor. I think the oil leak can be fixed with cam and crank sensors which are fairly cheap.

Desu-San-Desu > daender 12/29/2015 at 18:06

0

BTW, did you leave a hoodie last time you were here? Someone left a pirate hoodie and it wasn’t Polar Bear.

daender > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 18:08

0

...Pirate hoodie? That might be Harlan’s because I don’t recall having one.

BrtStlnd > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 18:22

0

Is auto repair not an option as a career?

OPPOsaurus WRX > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 18:30

0

How about something like sears auto shop, bus at a restaurant, or something like home depot

Desu-San-Desu > BrtStlnd 12/29/2015 at 18:31

0

I would love to. I’ve applied for a few openings around here but have never gotten an offer. Most want you to have a large selection of tools, which I don’t and/or they want you to have some level of certification.

If I ever have a chance to go back to college or trade school, I’ll probably go for auto repair. I love learning about vehicles and researching their nuances. The past few months I’ve tried to focus on networking with non-franchise shops in the area in the hopes I can get my foot in the door as an entry level tech or something.

Desu-San-Desu > OPPOsaurus WRX 12/29/2015 at 18:33

0

I’m exploring all the options I can right now, including those. Right now I’m limited to what is within walking distance or on the bus routes.

tmanhwm > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 18:44

0

Please know that things will get better. I strongly believe in helping others when and if we can.

Do you have a paypal account?

Desu-San-Desu > tmanhwm 12/29/2015 at 18:54

0

I appreciate the offer, but as much as my pride says no, I imagine I would be unwise to turn away help at this point. Could you email me at CarverGeek.San @ gmail . com first?

Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 22:13

0

Hey man. Keep your head up. It may not seem like it, but things will work out. You certainly sound like you’re busting your ass to make everything come together and you aren’t just letting it steamroll you. That’s the way to be. Keep fighting, keep throwing punches, and whenever you feel like it’s beating you, we’re all here cheering you on. I really wish there was a way I could help. It sounds like there’s a lot of people in your life there to cheer you on as well. It may not all be going the way you planned it, or want it to be, but you’ll get there. The ride up a mountain may be rough, but it’s all worth it when you see the view at the top.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Desu-San-Desu 12/29/2015 at 22:19

0

IIRC most medications are fine, since they separate the plasma out of the blood then put your blood back in sans plasma.

Good luck. I’m sure you’ll figure it out and once you get through this difficult time you will be better for it.

shop-teacher > Desu-San-Desu 12/30/2015 at 00:17

0

Maybe junk the Windstar? It sounds like the couple hundred plus you’d get would make a big difference for you. Hopefully the MC will fix the Mini. Good luck!

RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire > Desu-San-Desu 12/30/2015 at 06:54

0

Just wanted to say hang in there.

I haven’t seen the same lows but I’ve had my own bad stretches with high stress and panic attacks. Since then I try to avoid putting myself in bad situations, and hanging onto things that make me unnecessarily miserable.

Not sure if any of that helps, but I hope things get better for you soon.