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"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5) 12/28/2015 at 12:29 • Filed to: Babylopnik

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Sebastian James Gruneberg, born just about 24 hours ago. I’d have posted sooner, but the wife and I haven’t really slept since he showed up.

I wanted to take him home like this:

But the wife wasn’t thrilled with the idea. So instead he’ll go home in my wife’s boring and safe ML350, with its working seat belts and “crash survivability”. Humbug.

Ash78, voting early and often > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 12:34

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I wanted to take him home like this

To be fair, the seat isn’t really “rear facing” when the car is sideways. I can understand wifey’s concern.

Congratulations! It’s an amazing life experience, there’s nothing like it.

the wife and I haven’t really slept since he showed up

My oldest is 5 and a half, and I still say this...

jariten1781 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 12:36

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Vintage car seats = best car seats.

Congrats dude.

pjhusa > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 12:40

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lol. I came home in a new ML320. W163?

OPPOsaurus WRX > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 12:43

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haha my first thought was there is noway in hell my wife would let me drive the kids home like that. save yourself some money and buy stock in your local beer shop. at least you will get some return in your spendings. congrats and good luck.

Spaceball-Two > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 12:46

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Congrats man!

EL_ULY > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 12:51

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awesome!!!!!!!!! congrats!

HammerheadFistpunch > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 13:00

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congrats man! First, 2nd, 12th?

ttyymmnn > Ash78, voting early and often 12/28/2015 at 13:02

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My oldest is 5 and a half, and I still say this...

My kids are 10, 10 and 13 and I can still say this. Not so much keeping us up at night, but waking us up in the morning. I can’t get the younger boys out of bed with a crane on a school morning, but they’re up at 6:30 on Saturday playing PS3.

You really haven’t experienced sleep deprivation until you bring home twins. Somehow, my wife and I survived on about two hours of sleep a night for a month or so. And God bless her, my wife nursed both of them.

Jobjoris > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 13:04

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Congratulations!!! Can’t start too soon with this. Both the 2002

and the 911

were “supported” by my wife. It’s strange she let’s you drive that awesome car on your own but not accompanied with little Sebastian? Your not taking him to a trackday or something? Anyway: have a blast, enjoy and try to get some sleep!

Bad Idea Hat > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 13:07

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Congratulations!

Now, here’s a lesson I learned. You are free to cattle prod the everloving shit out of people if any of the following conditions are met:

1) While visiting you at the hospital, if the baby is sleeping, they say “aww, he’s sleeping. You should be sleeping too.” And then they just stay there and not leave.

2) You’re at home, it’s 10am, you’re sleeping because the baby is asleep, and people just stop by to see the baby. They may say something like “Oh, I didn’t mean to wake you, I’m sorry.” Despite this, they will not leave.

3) It’s 2am, and your sister-in-law just won’t stop fucking texting you and she’s drunk and leave us the fuck alone ARGHHHH.

E92M3 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 13:10

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Here’s my advice.. sleep NOW. You have a short window where he will sleep 16+ hrs a day. This is your opportunity to stock up on sleep. Pretty soon you’ll wish you could sleep 4 hrs straight.

RallyWrench > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 13:10

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Congratulations! As I scrolled down to the picture of the Mustang I just about spit out my tea. Though it didn’t happen, I like the cut of your jib. You’re not alone in the sleeplessness, I’ve got a recent baby as well. Best of luck, he’s beautiful!

smobgirl > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 13:12

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He's precious :) congrats!

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > HammerheadFistpunch 12/28/2015 at 13:13

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First. With the way the pregnancy went, possibly only, haha.

HammerheadFistpunch > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 13:14

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1st is fun, you still have a life.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > E92M3 12/28/2015 at 13:23

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Right now he seems to want to eat 16 hours a day. I feel bad for my wife, he stops eating, we put him to bed, and he immediately wants to eat again.

$kaycog > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 13:28

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He’s so precious!

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Jobjoris 12/28/2015 at 13:32

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She’ll come around once he's a little bigger...and once I install a little sound deadening, cause my Mustang is fairly loud.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Bad Idea Hat 12/28/2015 at 13:34

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That sounds like my friends who are about to stop by. I told her to text me and see I’d see how the wife is doing before anybody comes by...instead she just told me they’ll be here in 15 minutes.

Also, my sister in law is pretty chill, so she hasn't been an issue at all. Other folks though, that's the problem.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > pjhusa 12/28/2015 at 13:54

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Absolutely. You’re a youngin, eh?

I’m shocked at how rusty her car is...it’s a 2003 with like 140k and all the wheel wells are rusty.

Luckily the baby showed up in 2015, which means I get to write him off. I think the tax refund will go to buy my wife a new car.

Ash78, voting early and often > ttyymmnn 12/28/2015 at 14:20

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We had colic with #1, so between that and nursing, it was about 2-4 hours a night for the first 6 months. #2 was a much better sleeper, but she started with 2am night terrors around age 18 months. One of us was up every 30 minutes from 2-6am.

For some reason, it was really, really easy to leave for work during those periods ;)

supra-squirrel > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 14:47

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You’ll want this

And maybe this when he’s older

In all seriousness congratulations

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > RallyWrench 12/28/2015 at 15:24

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If it was warmer out she could probably be convinced to let me take him for a ride. Of course, it (or one like it) is gonna be his first car someday, so he's gotta get used to it now.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > supra-squirrel 12/28/2015 at 15:24

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Those are fantastic. I want both of them.

Wacko > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 16:12

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my daughter is almost 2 years old, and my son is 2 months old.

Sleep, we have no idea what that word means....

Congrats

Wacko > HammerheadFistpunch 12/28/2015 at 16:13

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and now he nolonger has a life, well not for a while anyway,

HammerheadFistpunch > Wacko 12/28/2015 at 16:15

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garf, those first few months are brutal, especially for the first time parent...you never realize how little sleep you need to survive until you’ve had a newborn.

pjhusa > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 17:13

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yessir. It’s a 2002, which we still have. In great shape, then again, we’ve been the only owners. Rust only on the step bars, and that’s due to the intense snow and rain the east coast has received in the past few years. Runs, drives, and basically looks like new (excluding the step bars). Reliable car, though maintenance can run a bit high.

I do know that these get notoriously unreliable and absolutely dreadful after passing through multiple owners or being kept in bad shape. How many owners has yours had?

pip bip - choose Corrour > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/28/2015 at 17:17

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congrats!!

ttyymmnn > Ash78, voting early and often 12/28/2015 at 18:03

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Thank God we never had the colic. Sorry you had to put up with it.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > pjhusa 12/28/2015 at 18:36

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Mine is technically a third owner car, but the second owner was my mother. The car has been well maintained and runs/drives really well. My main problems with it are the rust (because Rhode Island) and it's got this bizarre fiber optic stereo system...you can't replace the head unit with a more modern one unless you want to replace and rewire the entire system. Plus, the wife has always wanted an Escalade, so that's probably happening soon.

orcim > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/29/2015 at 04:37

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For the first 4 weeks, we just said “Don’t Visit. Period. End of Discussion. Leave dinner at the front door and leave between the hours of 4-5pm if you want to support.”

It’s nesting time. It’s getting used to new patterns (like lack of sleep) time. And it is *definitely* not expending energy to amuse visitors, time.

orcim > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/29/2015 at 04:38

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Don’t forget the Vel wall and Cro suit for kidlet! Very handy when you need to step out for a second.

orcim > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/29/2015 at 04:42

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They don’t usually come out so auto-pretty, but that phenotype is brilliant. Nice work - to the wife. Also, nice work to you for your seven seconds of glory. ;)

Congrats. Mine are 23, 20 and 13.

Bad Idea Hat > orcim 12/29/2015 at 14:00

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Our first 2 weeks, there was someone there constantly. Most of the time, we’d have 12 hours or so warning. Waving people off didn’t work, they’d stop by anyway.

Bad were those 15 minute warnings we’d get, but much worse was when we’d get good warning that someone was going to stop by and they simply would not show up. “Oh, I’m sorry, I got busy and forgot about it.” Those people can go and fuck themselves.

Jobjoris > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/29/2015 at 14:45

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No matter how loud: after 10 minutes of cruising he’ll be asleep anyway...

jkm7680 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/29/2015 at 16:44

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Congrats!

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Jobjoris 12/29/2015 at 16:57

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We just brought him home from the hospital, little dude was passed out the whole ride. Good to know.

orcim > Bad Idea Hat 12/30/2015 at 00:45

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That first 4 weeks for the first one are tough. We got schooled from our midwife about what to do, and we were thankful we could pull it off. After 2 weeks off and then not coming home to a party but a laid back, calm home was critical for me at least.

Of course, maybe I was a little weird, too. We had a 4 page birth plan for the hospital visit alone going in and my job for any staffer at the hospital was to ask “Did you read the birth plan at the desk?” If not, I got to hit them with a 12” spanner. Especially (in our case!, not every case) the anesthesiologist. He/she wasn’t invited at all. Same with certain aunties and uncles lateron.

And, in the end - it doesn’t matter. We are all the most adaptive, flexible, crazy inventive folk to hit the planet, ever. Most everything works and what doesn’t work is single digit anomalies.

Bad Idea Hat > orcim 12/30/2015 at 08:46

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We had a birth plan as well (which was super simple, but still like 3 pages). Our labor class instructor made us fill it out.

Luckily, we never had to answer questions off of it. Our nurses were awesome. Like I said, my only problem was family members not even coming close to listening to what we wanted. Luckily that changed with the second kid.