Happy Festivus, Oppo!

"yamahog" (yamahog) 12/23/2015 at 09:03 • Filed to: FESTIVUS FOR TEH REST OF US

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Air your holiday grievances here!

I’ll start with some mild ones: We just got out to Lawnguyland, New Yawck last night in a rental Hyundai Santa Fe with a slow leak on one corner! I’m at a bed & breakfast in Westhampton Beach because my mom’s house is full of FLEAS! Did she tell us this before inviting us (and our pets!) out to stay with her? Of course not! Luckily we didn’t bring the animals. Only 4 more cities in our 1800 mile east coast Christmas tour and I’ve already promised Travis we are never doing this again. Probably even save some money taking a vacation in Mexico next year.

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 09:08

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I’m sick cause there’s a virus going around my kid’s daycare. The kiddo is okay, which is good, but both my wife and I feel like death.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 09:09

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My holiday greivance, and this goes for almost all holidays, not just Christmas, is that my parents and my in-laws live about 10 miles apart. So it’s always a fight over whose house we go to first, etc. At Thanksgiving I have to eat 2 dinners now - which seemed like an awesome idea the first year because I’m a fat kid at heart but is now really just a burden, and possibly a contributor to heart disease.

What’s worse is that I keep telling my wife we should just go away and avoid the hassle, and she won’t even entertain the idea.

EL_ULY > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 09:09

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grievances?.....hmm let me think...

-Working full day tomorrow is lame 7-7

-My wife is flying down to Mexico DF late on the 25th which will make me :’(

-I wish I had more of the moneyz to get my family at least something little.

-It’s hot and humid here on the Texas Gulf Coast

- I don’t know how to wrap gifts lol

besides that everything is cool for fucking once finally :]

yamahog > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind 12/23/2015 at 09:10

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“I GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU, DAYCARE!”

and sorry to hear that, nothing brightens up the holidays like DISEASE

nerd_racing > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 09:14

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Got dumped abruptly right before December. But I already had the Christmas presents but they are outside of the return period.

yamahog > Snuze: Needs another Swede 12/23/2015 at 09:14

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Ahhhh that does not sound fun :( Any way you could consolidate the two sides at your place or a banquet hall or something, or at least set up an alternating schedule of who gets first visit each holiday? And I wholeheartedly concur, going away is an excellent idea. Hopefully she’ll warm up to it.

yamahog > EL_ULY 12/23/2015 at 09:16

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Booooo working during the holidays :( Safe travels to Mrs. Uly, and merry Christmas to you both

Sweet Trav > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 09:16

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I’ve got a lot of problems with you people, well not people so much as the culture of germs that has taken refuge in my upper respiratory tract, I am hacking out my lungs over festivus and generally feeling like death.

I also have a problem with Hertz for not checking their rentals before they send some unwitting renter off on an 1800 mile journey with a tire with 10psi in it! I plan on writing a nasty letter to corporate once we get back. I would have refused the car, but all they had left were compacts, which wouldn’t fit everything we needed to bring out. we were told that we could swap the car out along the way if we needed to. what customer service!

Generally, I am a sweaty coughing mess, and I hate everyone right now.

Side note, the Santa Fe is no where near as bad as I was expecting. I suppose that’s been my opinion on most modern Hyundai vehicles I have driven, “Not as bad as I was expecting.” It could have been worse, we could have gotten an FCA product.

Jcarr > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 09:16

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My only grievance is that Lloyd Braun keeps beating me in our sales contests.

yamahog > nerd_racing 12/23/2015 at 09:18

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That’s cold :( Find yourself a Tinder date and give it to them as a joke?

ETA: better idea! Update your Tinder profile to include that summary (“Got dumped abruptly right before December. But I already had the Christmas presents but they are outside of the return period”), and invite someone out for coffee/drinks and presents. IT’S GOLD, JERRY, GOLD!

Sweet Trav > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 09:19

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DISEASE AND FLEAS!

EL_ULY > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 09:20

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right back at ya buddy!!

As a bonus this year, one of my chihuahuas had puppies 3 days ago, will post puppylopnik later tonight :] They are so small and ultra fat asses :]

bobkustofawitshz > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 09:21

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That dash-to-axle ratio...

Sweet Trav > Jcarr 12/23/2015 at 09:22

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First prize Cadillac Eldorado,

Second Prize, Set of Steak Knives

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Third Prize is, You’re Fuckin’ fired.

Jcarr > Sweet Trav 12/23/2015 at 09:24

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Snuze: Needs another Swede > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 09:25

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We’ve brought up the idea of consolidation before, but it never works out. My dad refuses to celebrate holidays outside his own home for some reason, which annoys my mom to no end. And my parents have tried to invite hers over, but they always wait till the last minute, after the in-laws have already made all their holiday preparations.

You know though, if this is the biggest grievance I have for the holidays, I ain’t doing too bad. :)

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and Travis and your families.

functionoverfashion > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 09:30

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ooh! Holiday grievance? Or general grievance?

I hate daytime running lights that don’t include tail lights. This time of year in particular, I see cars in town all the time with headlights on but no tail lights, because the driver can’t tell. Especially for those models that include DASH LIGHTS with the DRLs, so you REALLY can’t tell your regular headlights aren’t on, until you can’t figure out why your high beams won’t stay on.

This summer we had relatives visting from Texas, and we were discussing this exact thing around a campfire one night. And one of them said, “OHH! So THAT’S probably why I couldn’t get my high beams to stay on in the rental car!!” He had driven over 2 hours on the highway in the dark, with no proper lights on, thanks to this half-assed “feature.”

It would be like having the brake pedal only activating the e-brake, until you flip the switch to put on the “power” brakes. Geez I was wondering why my brakes were so terrible, and the rear end of my car kept locking up and getting sideways.

WHY would you put a feature in a car that’s exactly duplicative of an existing feature, but not as good and in fact lacking in a very important aspect for safety. WHY!?

/end grievance

Sweet Trav > Jcarr 12/23/2015 at 09:30

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that is amazing.

yamahog > Jcarr 12/23/2015 at 09:31

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OMG YASSS I’M DYING

Jcarr > Sweet Trav 12/23/2015 at 09:32

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I love how he still says “Always Be Closing” and then realizes it and laughs.

Sweet Trav > Jcarr 12/23/2015 at 09:33

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I made all of my sales people watch the original as an orientation material.

yamahog > Snuze: Needs another Swede 12/23/2015 at 09:34

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That’s a good way to put it! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to yall as well :)

yamahog > functionoverfashion 12/23/2015 at 09:36

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aghhhh yes that ticks me off too, almost did it in our rental yesterday! Nowadays if I’m driving a new strange car I make sure to put the ‘auto’ lights on if available so I won’t mess up.

Dusty Ventures > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 09:37

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I’m the schmuck that’s had to deliver the presents and online orders for all you bastards. It’s been 10-13 hours per day, six days a week since Thanksgiving. As a bonus I’m working the day before AND after Christmas.

/youpeoplesuck

//actuallyitisntthatbad

///atleastimnotdeliveringinthesnow

functionoverfashion > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 09:39

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I’ll never forget about it because I got a ticket once, driving a friend’s car, in a populated area (street lights everywhere), and with 3 people in the car trying to tell me where to go... I didn’t see the cop behind me right away and I feel like he gave me a ticket just because I was a 19 year-old kid driving a new-ish Land Cruiser... again not my car. Yeah I was pissed. And this was 15 years ago.

yamahog > Dusty Ventures 12/23/2015 at 09:39

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thaaaank yoouuu Dustyyyy!

Where have all the lightweights gone? > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 09:51

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I have my wardrobe ready for today.

Rico > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 09:55

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Kruger! My son tells me your company stinks! You couldn’t smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe.

My only grievance is that I wish I could be a kid again with no responsibilities and tons of presents!

Welcome back to NYC!

JGrabowMSt > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 10:14

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Im on a job site in NYC, wasnt put on the list of approved contractors, and my work order punch list was completed by other people.

I just want another offer to come my way.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 10:25

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My grievance is that I live too close to my family to fly, but far enough that driving is a bit much, especially with impending storms. Also, other than hanging out with friends, there isn’t shit to do in Alabama. But I get to drink at wok today, so there is that.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Snuze: Needs another Swede 12/23/2015 at 10:31

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Bummer. We’ve gotten into a groove of doing Thanksgiving day with my family and the following weekend with hers and then Christmas with her family and several days following (including New Years) with mine.

nerd_racing > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 10:39

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hmm... that could work. womenez like shiny things.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 12/23/2015 at 10:39

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I think that’s a good plan. Maybe we can work something out like that in the future.

nerd_racing > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 10:40

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also, never had good luck on Tinder. Buffalo gals really suck...

Wheelerguy > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 10:40

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No one’s gonna miss me when I go kaput here.

I HAVE A FEATURE WITH MY TOY 458 BUT I CAN’T DO IT!!!

I ALSO HAVE AN IDEA FOR A NEW SCUD RACE BUT I CAN’T DO IT EITHER!!!

Colombian pageant fans. They’re salty as fuck. Good riddance to them.

Turns put PCSX2 is a handful to set up.

It’s been a tradition with my friends to buy some contraband firecracker and blow it up, but for this year, I suggested we spice it up and buy a 3D puzzle of buildings. But what’s a good building that I wouldn’t feel bad blowing up?

Finally, my family will be attending a wake on the 25th, and burial’s the next day (mom’s oldest brother died two days ago). Puts a pall on the festivities, dampens the feel, but hopefully when we get back to Manila I can watch TFA and get the glory back just in time for Christmas.

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > Dusty Ventures 12/23/2015 at 10:50

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But we love you Dusty. You let all us lazy SOB’s do all of our shopping without putting on pants. Plus when the presents don’t show up on time we have someone else to blame it on. You’re our favorite scapegoat.

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 10:52

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My SIL brought her kids over for my wife to babysit last week. Now the Finnlet has a nasty cough, hasn’t slept good in a couple days and it’s Christmas party time so we are going to feel guilty for infecting everyone else’s kids. At least my wife will feel guilty. I say screw ‘em, spread the love germs.

yamahog > nerd_racing 12/23/2015 at 11:11

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No, I think you’re thinking of crows

nerd_racing > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 11:25

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something something something... attempted murder

banjo cat ghost of oppo past > yamahog 12/23/2015 at 16:01

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I intended to see Star Wars in IMAX 3D with my best friend this past weekend but since I’m the closest home for Xmas my mom comes out of left field and informs me noooo I have to wait for my brother and his pregnant wife to come up so we can all see it together in our shitty local theater. HIS WIFE HASN’T SEEN ANY OF THE STAR WARS AND WILL LIKELY TALK THROUGH THE WHOLE MOVIE BECAUSE SHE’S JUST LIKE THAT! GAH!

Also they insist our/my dogs go to daycare and stay far away from my brother just because he can’t handle their big, hairy slobberyness. However my sister’s cat gets to roam around the house, agrivate my allergies and not poop in the litter box I was just asked to go out in shitty holiday traffic and buy cat litter for.

Also the 25th is my birthday and instead of getting used to it I find myself hating it more every year and wishing I was literally anywhere else, with a cocktail.