"No, I don't thank you for the fish at all" (notindetroit)
12/14/2015 at 23:15 • Filed to: Miata, is always the answer, unless its an NB
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"No, I don't thank you for the fish at all" (notindetroit)
12/14/2015 at 23:15 • Filed to: Miata, is always the answer, unless its an NB | 6
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The !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! is known in !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! as literally !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . It’s a car so legendary, worshipping that legend is very literally an entrance requirement in order to post on Oppo, so I’m not going to waste your time telling you what you already know.
The NA Miata (which stands for North America, or Not Applicable) is the most legendary and worshipped of all the Answers, because it doesn’t have power steering (because what’s more awesome than combing driving and exercise I guess) and enough dents to drive the price down to pocket change. The next most-worshipped one is the NC, which stands for Nice Car, and it’s the second most worshipped because it tells you right there in the name, Nice Car. Then we have the ND, also known as “Needle *&@!” referring to its small and nimble size I think. But the poor NB (Never Bought), the forgotten car nobody likes. Why not? Because it doesn’t have pop-up headlights, duh!
Which means NB Miatas are a steal no matter where you go. Take !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! on sale for a cool 6 thousand smackeroos. That’s only a thousand dollars per ten thousand miles! This Miata comes with the ultra-rare and therefore ultra-desirable khaki-colored soft top, inspired by a legend as legendary as the car itself, that one State Farm commercial with Jake from State Farm in it where, with bated breath and anticipation from the viewing audience, he confirmed that the color of his pants are what was shown on-screen. The Miata also comes with an equally rare and matching “khaki isn’t beige” leather interior.
Leather!
If there is one flaw that this Miata has (besides being an NB) it’s that it’s one of the few cars that comes with Manuel Transmission. As most Jalops know, the most desirable and common Miatas come with never-have-to-shift automatic transmissions, but Mazda once briefly experimented in the European tradition of Manuel Transmission. If you’ve ever seen Downton Abbey (and literally everyone does so I know you have) you know that the elite class had a person riding shotgun who would shift the transmission for the driver, traditionally known as “Manuel” after Manuel Alfred Tennyson IV, a Great War hero who stopped the huns by being able to row his own gears (again, as common knowledge, Germany is a country where everybody is reliant on CVT transmissions). Unfortunately this Miata has appeared to have permanently lost its Manuel unit; perhaps he’s sitting in someone’s nice Escalade, twiddling his (or her! - after all, shifting is equal opportunity employment!) thumbs and wondering what the future of the Manuel will be. Maybe it will be sitting in a nice CVT-equipped Bimmer simulating shift points?
Despite the obvious flaws - the driver being forced to figure out how to shift gears while actually sitting in the driver’s seat, the incredibly unappealing red color, and actually having a power steering unit - this NB Miata represents a fantastic deal that I’m sure will be swooped up soon.
Also, I may or may not be kind of drunk right now.
Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
> No, I don't thank you for the fish at all
12/14/2015 at 23:20 |
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N-A or No-way... Jose.
d15b
> No, I don't thank you for the fish at all
12/14/2015 at 23:26 |
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+1 Would read again.
Shour, Aloof and Obnoxious
> No, I don't thank you for the fish at all
12/15/2015 at 00:35 |
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*raises a small glass of Lagavulin to your sense of humor*
Sidenote: Lagavulin is the one thing I disagree with Ron Swanson on...but I paid $60 for this bottle, and I’mma finish it if it takes me the rest of the month. Will be sticking to Highland single-malts from now on...
The Powershift in Steve's '12 Ford Focus killed it's TCM (under warranty!)
> No, I don't thank you for the fish at all
12/15/2015 at 11:58 |
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I could live with the red paint for that price, but the body kit is a deal killer. I know why dealerships tacked those gaudy things on at the time, but I won’t forgive them for what the kit did to the car’s looks.