Funeral Processions Are Stupid

"Manwich - now Keto-Friendly" (manwich) 12/14/2015 at 15:07 • Filed to: None

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So after reading this:

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It made me think about funeral processions. And the more I think about it, the dumber I think that tradition is.

And apparently I’m not the only one who thinks this:

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And apparently in some places, “out of respect”, some idiots going in the opposite direction will stop in the middle of the road when they see a procession going by. And it causes situations like this:

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Note the JACKASS in the GMC pickup truck at 22 seconds in. WTF is that idiot thinking? Endangering yourself and others is a sign of “respect”???

What A Jackass.

So my thinking is that banning funeral processions would be a good idea.

Rico > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:11

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I had never heard of this until today when I read Rainbow’s post. I mean I’ve seen huge funerals for fallen soldiers but that always takes place on foot not in some 100 car convoy.

Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:14

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CalzoneGolem > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:14

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I like how you linked to a story from car scoops that regurgitates a Jalopnik story about the same thing.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:15

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GMC guy was totally wrong.

Jcarr > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:16

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I have to disagree. I think they’re a nice show of respect. Of course, larger ones need a police escort, but that’s not usually hard to do. This past summer in my community 3 members of a family of 5 were killed in a car accident. They’re funeral was understandably very large, and when the moved from the church to the cemetery, local law enforcement made sure that every intersection along the route was blocked. It was, in my opinion, awe-inspiring and heartwarming.

Ash78, voting early and often > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:19

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I’ve been at odds with my fellow Southerners. I always say that stopping is too dangerous, but not a big deal in small towns.

It used to be that oncoming cars would just turn on their lights to acknowledge and show respect, but could keep moving. Maybe that’s just me — seems a lot safer.

But everyone has DRLs...

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:21

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They’re kind of a necessary evil. People are going to go from the church/funeral home to the burial site, so they may as well all go together.

My issue with it usually has to do with the lead car. If you're leading the procession and the light is red when you arrive, you stop. Too often I see the lead car run a standing red light and nearly cause an accident...like once the line is going through, fine, don't stop, but you can't run it if you arrive at a stale red light.

Mattbob > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:22

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this is the worst. I had some asshole in front of me get out of his car and start yelling at me because I went to go around him when he stopped for a procession going the opposite direction. This was in the north, and there was an open lane to go around safely.

deekster_caddy > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:23

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It’s the law in most states as far as I know, like firetrucks with their lights on, a funeral procession is granted right of way. Why?

1) respect for the dead

2) people in funeral processions are sometimes in distress and following others to a place they aren’t sure where they are going.

3) they are usually going slow. In this state they have a maximum speed limit lower than the posted limit most of the time.

I’ve been in a funeral procession that got badly split in half, and it was a total clusterfuck. People didn’t allow them to proceed through a traffic-lighted intersection together (the back half is supposed to be allowed to run the red and continue through), and the result was very upsetting for many involved.

The problem is that nobody gives a fuck anymore, the longer processions will get split up, and nobody gives a fuck. So unless it’s the procession for a cop with a large police presence and motorcycle cops holding up intersections, there’s going to be mayhem. The cops holding up intersections shouldn’t be needed, all of the cars following each other with their high-beams and hazard lights on are supposed to be allowed to stay together.

Should they be outlawed? Maybe times have changed, a lot of people have a GPS, they could just regroup later for the burial... screw em then. But the reality is that times haven’t changed that much yet, and there are still a lot of old people at funerals who don’t always welcome technology... So don’t cut in, let the procession pass.

ttyymmnn > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:23

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Funeral processions allow for all members of the funeral party to arrive at the cemetery together. And for war heroes or heads of state, they’re fine. I’m not crazy about interstates and major thoroughfares being blocked for somebody’s Grandpa Joe. And more motorcycle cops are hurt or killed on funeral details than any other duty. I have made it clear that I don’t want a parade when I die. Of course, other’s mileage may vary.

Rico > Mattbob 12/14/2015 at 15:24

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What did he say?

gin-san - shitpost specialist > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:26

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It can't be that big an issue when I haven't come across one in 12 years of driving. Given how rare they are, is it not difficult just to let them go do their thing? Or find an alternate route?

deekster_caddy > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:26

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Just watched the video - the motorcycle guy pulled over and stopped in a dangerous place. The GMC pickup had cut in and shouldn’t have. The black pickup at the end was speeding or not paying attention, distracted by the funeral procession? Either way, a combination of bad moves added up to a close call. That’s not a reason to ban processions.

Dru > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:27

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Lifelong southerner here.

It’s a bit of a nuisance even to me, and a common complaint among yankee transplants. I live along the coast so we have a lot of those.

More and more recently, these processions are accompanied by a small platoon of LEO’s with flashing lights.

I got stuck in the opposite direction of one a few weeks back and I believe this was for a fallen firefighter or LEO, as part of the procession was an antique firetruck with black fabric hanging from the sides.

Mattbob > Rico 12/14/2015 at 15:27

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some garbage about telling me to stop because there was a funeral procession going by, and that we should stop as a sign of respect. He was full on yelling, like he wanted to start a fight about it.

Rico > Mattbob 12/14/2015 at 15:31

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Lmao I would’ve laughed at him and kept driving, what a loon.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:31

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What kills me is that people give more respect to funeral processions than they do emergency vehicles. It’s like the person is already dead people that fire truck is on its way to try and save someone’s life

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > gin-san - shitpost specialist 12/14/2015 at 15:35

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Rarity depends on where you live. I have to deal with at least one every day in chicago. Sometimes more

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > ttyymmnn 12/14/2015 at 15:38

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“Funeral processions allow for all members of the funeral party to arrive at the cemetery together”

That might have made sense once upon a time. But these days with GPS and accurate maps? Nah... it’s little more than a big show.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 12/14/2015 at 15:39

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“What kills me “

Good pun!

BigBlock440 > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:47

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It’s really not that big of a deal, no point in banning something that you’re not likely to coma across often. And it’s nice that everyone gets to arrive together and you don’t have to sit around guessing if everyone’s there. I don’t think I’ve ever come across a funeral procession while I’ve been driving. The only ones I’ve seen were ones I was in. Baring some type of medical emergency, what’s the problem with just sitting there an extra 2 minutes until they’re through? It just makes it easier on all involved if everybody wasn’t so damn impatient.

450X_FTW > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:48

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So what would the rule of thumb be where states allow lane splitting and you’re on a bike? Are you allowed to cut through the procession?

Sam > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:53

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It’s not about getting lost. It’s about everyone getting there at the same time to ease up parking and traffic outside the cemetery.

Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:53

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I’d rather a funeral procession than wait for a train that’s stopped at a station and kicking on the pre-emption gates. We get it, you got passengers! Now stop wasting 10 minutes of my life!

And this was on a city-bound train to Seattle where a stop lasted 1-2 minutes.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 15:56

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The best puns are completely unintentional haha

haveacarortwoorthree2 > Sam 12/14/2015 at 15:59

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And so that those close to the deceased don’t have to wait around for everyone to arrive before they bury their loved one. I told my family to cremate me and toss the ashes out the car window on the way home from the service.

Sam > haveacarortwoorthree2 12/14/2015 at 16:08

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I’m committed to having a viking-style funeral. (Light a boat on fire and cast it out to sea/lake) I’m not even Nordic or a sailor, it’s just more badass than a hole in the ground.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 16:09

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I have stopped for an oncoming funeral procession on a 2 lane, 30mph road. Sorry.

Xyl0c41n3 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 12/14/2015 at 16:12

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Where I live, all funeral processions are escorted by county constables. If it’s a small procession, about three cars will do the trick. One to block the most immediate intersection, one to get set at the next intersection, and one to bring up the rear. They take turns leapfrogging each other in an adjacent lane, a center turning lane, or a shoulder, but the funeral procession as the right-of-way the entire way. For larger processions, they have enough units to block several intersections at once.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 12/14/2015 at 16:20

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gin-san - shitpost specialist > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 12/14/2015 at 16:25

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I’d like to say I’d behave rationally if this were a daily occurrence but I have nothing to back that up. Even I have a hard time believing what I just said.

Berang > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 16:30

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When I lived in Savannah, the roads were choked every weekend with funeral processions. The intersections were never guarded. Cars usually weren’t marked in any way. So basically it just seemed like people were running reds all around town.

Also, people would double park around churches on Sunday. ON SINGLE LANE ROADS. And apparently this was just fucking ok. I have never been to another city that small with traffic that bad.

I hate that city with an all consuming passion.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Sam 12/14/2015 at 16:45

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Well can’t they just tell everyone to be at X cemetary at X time?

That’s what I do when I’ve organized something where I want a group of people to arrive at a specific time/place.

And I don’t see how having a procession or not makes any difference when it comes to parking.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Sam 12/14/2015 at 16:48

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That sounds good to me. But also add some pyrotechnics... and a laser light show... and some Pink Floyd playing in the background...

Birddog > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly 12/14/2015 at 17:47

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I would have raged out enough to go find that GMC driver and figure out what he was thinking. That was some grade A Bullcrap!