Confession Time.

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 11/30/2015 at 10:23 • Filed to: None

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When I was very little I thought my Mom’s Camry was a sportscar because it had a spoiler.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/30/2015 at 10:31

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When I was little, I thought that in-car music started when my mom’s early cell phone was put on the charger and I thought that all the engines were in the wheels. I guess I was ahead of my time.

TractorPillow > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/30/2015 at 10:34

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When I was little, I thought your moms car was a sports car too for the same reason. I also thought the gold emblems meant they were truly top of the line.

Rainbow > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/30/2015 at 10:46

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I thought cars had two engines: the front engine and the bottom engine. What else could all that mechanical stuff down there be?

functionoverfashion > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/30/2015 at 10:48

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At that age I thought SUVs were stupid because minivans were better in every measurable way and were more practical and not really worse to drive. Oh, wait a minute...

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > functionoverfashion 11/30/2015 at 10:54

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I thought wagons were stupid.

TheHondaBro > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/30/2015 at 10:56

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I thought... our Odyssey was a sports car because it had cool headlights.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > TheHondaBro 11/30/2015 at 10:59

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Oh god that’s even worse than mine

TheHondaBro > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/30/2015 at 11:00

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*drops mic*

PS9 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/30/2015 at 11:07

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When I was little, I would routinely try to build engines out of paper. I used cardboard from cereal boxes for the heads and filled the gaps between the cylinders with glue. I used easy-form wire to make springs for the valves, and pens as molds for the cylinder shape. My crank bearings were rolled up and glued together pieces of paper cut specifically for the shape of the paper block.

I did it like maybe 100 times, but it would never work. The glue would always fail, the rods would come apart, the cams weren’t strong enough (metal < paper), I tried all engine configurations except rotary, but the only ones I ever got more than a few revolutions out of were 4 cylinders. Engines were not ment to be made of such things as paper, lol.

functionoverfashion > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/30/2015 at 11:12

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I thought RWD was far inferior to FWD because of snow. It is... but ONLY in that regard I guess. I was having a hard time understanding why RWD even existed at the time.

functionoverfashion > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/30/2015 at 11:13

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And you know, some people still do. A colleague has two big, aging dogs and refuses to get a wagon even though he a) needs the space, and b) the dogs have a hard time getting up over the bumper of an SUV.

functionoverfashion > TheHondaBro 11/30/2015 at 11:14

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There was a moment, and I can picture it clearly, where I thought my granparents’ then-new 1993 Plymouth Voyager was sporty because it had “Fuel Injection” AND a manual transmission.

Dunnik > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/30/2015 at 13:13

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Don’t feel bad, its well known (in marketing departments) that adding a spoiler makes a car sportier.

As does a factory “Sport” decal.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/30/2015 at 15:25

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I loved the Ford Contour and Saturn Ion when I was a wee lad.

I REGRET NOTHING!

wiffleballtony > PS9 11/30/2015 at 15:51

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Was this while working at Subaru?

wiffleballtony > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/30/2015 at 15:52

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When I was little I thought I would be able to afford a Lamborghini.

The Compromiser > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/30/2015 at 18:22

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My kids think I drive a racecar because it has a spoiler and stickers on it. I don’t have it in me to break their wee hearts.

touring the brook - now with ZHP! > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/30/2015 at 19:13

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A few things:

1) When I was little I thought all car manufacturers were headquartered in the United States of MURICA’.

2) When I was little I hated the Suburban and Yukon, even though I didn’t know what they were at the time. Oh how the times have changed, I really like Suburbans and Yukons.

3) Last but not least, I thought my mom’s Lexus RX330 would only play Sarah McLachlan from the CD changer on certain times when we were going to certain places. Little did I know the CD changer was broken and would decide to work at random times.

dagmose33 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 12/04/2015 at 17:17

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when i was little i used to wait in the supermarket parking lot and if there was a car with pop-up headlights i would wait for the driver to return and then ask them to turn their lights on and off for me.

they always would.

i dunno. i just thought pop-up headlights were cool. still do.

Vic788 > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 12/04/2015 at 23:45

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Yeah, that’s a 3SGTE motor swap from /mr2/ celica alltrac in a camry. sleeper status.