Ten Dirt Cheap Used Cars That Will Make You Look Filthy Rich

"Margin Of Error" (marginoferror) 11/24/2015 at 13:01 • Filed to: LISTS

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Here at Jalopnik, we like opulent cars, but we hate to pay for them. Here’s ten used cars that can be had for next to nothing and that will make you look like you are running a Ponzi scheme.

10 - 1984 Mercedes-Benz 190e

The ultimate ego-booster. The Silver Star on the hood will inspire respect. Nobody would ever suspect you paid $900.

9 - 1985 Jaguar XJ6

Aristocracy on a budget.

8 - Mercedes C230 Kompressor

The “Kompresssor” badge is a great reminder that you are not fucking around.

7 - 2005 Kia Amanti

Nobody knows what it is, especially after a clever debadging. You can easily trick a non-car person into believing this is the latest Jaaaaag.

6 -2005 Chrysler 300

Another example of a design that punch above its weight.

5 - 2003 Volvo XC90

Looks exactly like the 2014 model, high miles 5 banger version can be had for a few hundreds.

4 - 2003 Jaguar X-type

Looks like a Jaaag, drives like a Ford Fusion, but only the driver know.

3 -1980 Porsche 924

The Porsche 924 is by far the cheapest Porsche money can buy, but even this ugly example will turn heads thanks to the power of the Porsche brand.

2 -1985 Rolls-Royce Silver Spur

Be the (budget) King

1- 1999 Caddy Escalade

The Escalade is now the division’s most luxurious and expensive vehicle, it is Cadillac’s Fagship. Buit it wasn’t always the case, but nobody knows.

PotbellyJoe and 42 others > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:05

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Do not try this in CT/NYC/NJ, this car is well known thanks to a few years of desperation on the club scene by myriad Jager-bombing, My-new-haircuts that frequented them.

You are far better off with a used 525i that you pull the badges from than a C230 coupe.

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:06

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Eh, close enough.

Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:06

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it is Cadillac’s Fagship.

Either hilarious accident or spot on reporting.

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:06

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PENIS WHEELS.

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:07

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Half mixed chocolate milk.

JR1 > Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif 11/24/2015 at 13:09

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It is though. Or at least it was until about 2/3 years ago

JR1 > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:10

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How much is the Rolls?

punkgoose17 > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:10

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I am saving this list because I really like it. However you need to fix your Cadallic Escalade picture because that is the GMC Denali you have shown.

Margin Of Error > punkgoose17 11/24/2015 at 13:13

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Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:15

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Disagree for two reasons.

It just looks old, and old means cheap no matter what the badge says.

Most of the ones around here are rusting to bits by now. The only reason someone would be surprised by $900 is they thought you should pay less.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:15

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Oh, yeah.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:16

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I'd just be surprised they bought one at all. I couldn't live with the styling if it was free.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:17

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It's odd proportions would give away the fact that it's nothing special to most people, even if it fooled them on the brand. Think base-model jag.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:18

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Not "rich" perhaps, but damn this thing still looks great. It has enough presence that you definitely won't be ignored, anyway.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:19

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I thnik this is the other way around. It looks capable but basic. I'd probably undershoot what it's worth.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:20

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THIS is a good example of something that can dress up as a classic Jag.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:20

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OK, agree.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:21

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This is the winner as far as I'm concerned.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:22

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Fair enough. Even better, though, dress up a Suburban with Caddy badges if that's the look you're going for.

Three-Pump-Trump > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 11/24/2015 at 13:27

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Agreed. Everyone knows an old Benz isn’t expensive unless it’s about as old as a baby boomer.

Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:29

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This is the most NJ photo ever taken.

Urambo Tauro > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 11/24/2015 at 13:30

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The 300 looks amazing in black.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Urambo Tauro 11/24/2015 at 13:35

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Especially with the door trim removed. Here is my old one.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Urambo Tauro 11/24/2015 at 13:35

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The 300C looks amazing in anything.

Jonee > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 13:39

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Brown/beige two-tone is the bomb.

boxrocket > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 14:24

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I’ll give you the Volvo, Rolls, and Jaaaaaaaag XJ (and perhaps the X-Type) as a couple cosmetic updates can make them look a decade younger. The others are clearly old, and no amount of updating efforts could redeem them to suit the intended visual statement.

They all scream "high cost of ownership", though.

BJ > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 14:49

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Drives a Mercedes. Doesn’t wear socks. THIS GUY IS NOT FUCKING AROUND!

BJ > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 11/24/2015 at 14:50

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This or an equivalently depreciated Bentley from the 1990s. They can be had SO cheap (relatively speaking).

FullSpectrumPotato > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 15:15

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Literally none of these cars makes you look rich. That goes double for the friggin’ Kompressor, it’s the shortbus Mercedes.

WiscoProud > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 11/24/2015 at 16:15

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I KNOW how cheap they can be, and yet I still think the driver is a baller. Can't help but to love them. Old Bentley's too

deprecated account > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 16:20

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“Fagship”

jjhats > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 16:21

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why no S class

Vicente Esteve > Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif 11/24/2015 at 16:30

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Spot on.

Cadillac IS the Escalade

jkm7680 > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 16:57

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None of these would impress me in the slightest, except the Rolls.

They make you look poor, trying to look rich :3

Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 17:05

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You say Caddy escalade, I see GMC Yukon

WAT?

Emill > Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed 11/24/2015 at 17:13

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Incredible. He looks like he discovered fire last week.

Emill > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 17:14

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Your boy, BJR > Jordaneer, The Mountaineer Man 11/24/2015 at 17:19

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It’s close enough

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > JR1 11/24/2015 at 17:52

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Read "flagship" again in the comment.

boredalways > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 18:03

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Um...what’s Cadilliac’s “Fagship”?

daveIT > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 18:09

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Denotanescaladei

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 18:37

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Now do really expensive cars that will make everyone think your poor. like an ASC McLaren. They’ll fetch north of 13,000 dollars, but to most people they just look like some ugly little 80’s car.

-this space for rent- > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 18:47

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Aside from the Volvo and the Roller, this is a list of cars I see constantly in poor areas of town.

924s only turn heads upward for laughter.

JR1 > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 11/24/2015 at 19:57

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I see now haha

ranwhenparked > Margin Of Error 11/24/2015 at 20:51

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I don’t know about this one. ‘80s S-Classes are still sometimes owned by people with money (elderly people with money that drive very rarely), but, for the most part, Benzes of that period have been “your job is your credit” “buy here, pay here” fodder for a few decades now.

saleen90181 > Margin Of Error 11/25/2015 at 17:03

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Great list - what about the Conquest TSI? Looks like a 944 turbo - has the sound and semi good performance - and girls in the 90’s loved it - of course I had one - rear suspension sucked and was expensive - Mitsu wanted nothing to do with it for service once it was out of warrantee - Dodge would send you to Mitsu service - and then Mitsu would send you back. But had the look - and in NJ shore you where the man - get the big hair chicks

npc58501 > Margin Of Error 12/02/2015 at 16:17

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Now now the fusion doesn’t drive that bad...

npc58501 > Luc - The Acadian Oppo 12/02/2015 at 16:19

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These have aged much better than expected.