The Back Fell Off

Kinja'd!!! "Biased Plies" (biased-plies)
11/24/2015 at 16:15 • Filed to: putting way too much effort into things

Kinja'd!!!24 Kinja'd!!! 8
Kinja'd!!!

Mr Loeb, thanks for coming in
It’s a great pleasure, thank you.
1: This Xsara that was involved in the incident on the rally stage in North Holland this week
Yeah, the one the back fell off?
Yep
Yeah thats not very typical i would like to make that point

Well how is it un-typical?
Well there are a lot of these Citroens going around the world all the time, and very seldom does anything like this happen, I just don’t want people thinking that Xsaras aren’t safe
Was this Xsara safe?
Well I was thinking about more about the other ones
The ones that are safe?
Yeah, the ones that the back doesn’t fall off
Well if this wasn’t safe, why was it going 90 miles per hour?
I’m not saying it wasn’t safe, just perhaps not quite as safe as the other ones
Why?
Well some of them are built so that the back doesn’t fall of at all
Wasn’t this built so that the back would not fall off?
Well obviously not
How do you know?
Because the back fell off and 20 litres of race fuel spilt out and caught fire, it’s a bit of a give away. I would just like to make the point that that is not normal

What sort of standards are these Citroens built to?
Oh, very rigorous automotive engineering standards
What sort of things?
Well the back’s not supposed to fall off for a start
What other things?
Well there are regulations governing the materials that they can be made of
What materials?
Cardboard’s out
And?
No cardboard derivatives
Like paper?
No paper, no string, no cello tape
Foam?
No, foam’s out. Umm, they have to have a steering wheel, there’s a minimum crew requirement
What’s the minimum crew?
Oh, 1, I suppose

So the allegations that they are just designed to carry as much speed as possible..
Ludicrous
Despite the consequences, I mean thats ludicrous is it?
Absolutely ludicrous, these are very strong cars
So what happened in this case?
Well the back fell off in this case by all means, but it’s very unusual
But Mr Loeb, why did the back fall off?
Well a it hit a curb
It hit a curb?
The car hit a curb
Is that unusual?
Oh yeah, on a street stage? Chance in a million

So what do you do to protect the rally event in cases like this?
Well the car was towed off the stage
Onto another stage?
No, no, no, it’s been towed beyond the rally stage, it’s not on the stage
But from one stage into another stage?
No, it’s beyond the rally stage, it’s not on a road, it’s been towed beyond the rally event
Well it must be somewhere, well what’s out there?
Nothing’s out there
Well there must be something out there
There’s nothing out there, all there is is streets, and bicycles, and high tourists
And?
And what’s left of 20 litres of race fuel
What else?
And the rear axle
Anything else?
And part of the car that the back fell off, but theres nothing else out there, it’s completely void, the racing line’s perfectly safe.


DISCUSSION (8)


Kinja'd!!! DrJohannVegas > Biased Plies
11/24/2015 at 00:01

Kinja'd!!!2

Splendid, sir. Splendid.


Kinja'd!!! Dusty Ventures > Biased Plies
11/24/2015 at 00:19

Kinja'd!!!2

Kinja'd!!!

Bravo


Kinja'd!!! Richtofen, Baron von Pickup > Biased Plies
11/24/2015 at 02:09

Kinja'd!!!2

Gold.


Kinja'd!!! RallyWrench > Biased Plies
11/24/2015 at 13:26

Kinja'd!!!3

Excellent adaption there.


Kinja'd!!! Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Biased Plies
11/24/2015 at 16:35

Kinja'd!!!0

OK, where's the original.


Kinja'd!!! tromoly > Biased Plies
11/24/2015 at 17:29

Kinja'd!!!3

One of my favorite comedy bits of all times, the front fell off. Bravo to you good sir.


Kinja'd!!! Biased Plies > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer
11/25/2015 at 00:40

Kinja'd!!!2

Here you are.


Kinja'd!!! Jayvincent > Biased Plies
11/25/2015 at 02:19

Kinja'd!!!1

“grounded to the GROUND” /obligatory

bravo to you my good sir, that was spot on!