Ferrari 355 Smog Test vs. Child Birth - Same Diff?

"Joe F" (joe-f)
11/21/2015 at 16:21 • Filed to: Ferrari, F355, 355, Unreliable Italian Pieces of Shit, smog test, CARB sucks, Ferrari 355

My sincere admiration goes to those who live in a non-smog test state. For those that do - sure, you might have a car that you know is going to pass - but sometimes you have that car that’s not a slam dunk. You hand over the keys and pace back and forth like an expecting father in the waiting room during the birth of a child. “Dear God, please just let my kid be healthy - it’s fine if he’s a little bit stupid - I just don’t want him to suffer. ...and real quick, if you can un-fuck the 49ers that would be sweet too, amen.”

Well, at least that’s how it used to be. It seems like nowadays, the father is always in the delivery room, and has traded his box of cigars and bottle of bubbly in for a two-camera GoPro rig. “Honey, don’t move your legs so much, it makes the camera mount on your knee wobble.”

Well yesterday, it was time for the 355 to “take it up the ol’ tailpipe” as they say...

We all have our own reasons to be concerned about smog tests. In this case, I was testing a car that is known for headers that melt, cats that disintegrate, and a rather conspicuous lack of applicable “20% Off Parts and Service” coupons in my local paper.

You know the drill: (and it’s more stressful if it’s your 2nd, 3rd, or 4th re-test - my personal high is 8/different car/long story). You wait. You pace. You wonder, “Is that crap I put in the gas tank going to help? Did I warm it up enough? My car is going to get cold if he doesn’t finish the car ahead of me soon. Should I register this car in Montana and avoid this bullshit all-together? How come MY car has to be smog tested, but that 1970-something turbo diesel Mercedes (or Volvo) with the black cloud in its wake DOES NOT ?? ...Did he just do a 2nd run? Why did the computer tell him to do a 2nd run?”**

Finally, the Doctor (or, in this case, a friendly but taciturn European man in his 60’s) emerges to say, “Is finish.”

Well that was anti-climactic. I was hoping for a cigar, pat on the back, and a “Congratulations, your Italian piece of shit passed!”...but I’ll take an incomplete sentence any day of the week if it means I don’t have to fix anything. The numbers were actually really good - so maybe I can use some of the money in my “Ferrari Maintenance Fund” to treat myself to something nice.

Like food.

Why am I bothering to tell you this?

1 - The ass-pain of smog testing is enjoyed by many and misery loves company.

2 - On average, OVER 100 people read my little write-ups. I have devoted fans that demand content.

3- I have been known to !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . While I am always a little worried about what kind of problem is going to pop up; the car (and its garage-mate, a 456 GT) does nothing but run without breaking; so this is the only kind of update I can provide.

-J

**Answer: he had trouble getting used to the stiff throttle pedal and therefore failed to stay within the required rpm range for the period of time required.

DISCUSSION (16)

Arben72 > Joe F
11/21/2015 at 16:38

Not having emissions is the best thing ever. My sti spits flames and soon my m3 will too. And it's not because of poor tuning either (or a spark plug in the exhaust). The coal rollers kind of suck though.

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > Joe F
11/21/2015 at 16:39

Sooooo you have a 456GT? Pictures please!

PowderHound > Joe F
11/21/2015 at 17:11

I had to re-register the other day and since my car is over ten years old I had to get a safety inspection. This consisted of: do all your lights work. Do you wipers and sprayer work. Roll your driver window up and down. Love it.

JGrabowMSt > Joe F
11/21/2015 at 18:20

My SL600 has OBD2. Normal readings = pass. It’s awesome.

QCGoose > Joe F
11/22/2015 at 09:26

The F355 is my favorite Ferrari, and the 456GT is my favorite 2+2 of theirs. The 90’s is also my favorite decade of theirs cars. Congrats on your stable!

Joe F > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30
11/22/2015 at 16:03

check out my wheelwell page for my less than artistic pics.

https://www.wheelwell.com/profile/54e3f0…

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > Joe F
11/22/2015 at 17:14

Who needs artful when the subject matter is so good?

computiNATEor > JGrabowMSt
11/23/2015 at 00:14

Which is great, until you try to modify anything. Like, say, swap in a manual transmission on your BMW e39. Don't ask me how I know...

JGrabowMSt > computiNATEor
11/23/2015 at 06:48

I know plenty of people with manual swapped cars that pass with flying colors. It just comes down to how much attention to detail you put in.

computiNATEor > JGrabowMSt
11/23/2015 at 10:43

Yep. The e39’s computer system is so convoluted that you need to reprogram three separate “modules” (essentially, tiny ibus-networked computers with an EEPROM) to even make the car start. Doing so requires hours of research online, and some custom binary tweaking (to reuse the original modules) or extensive re-initialization and programming (to use used/new modules). It’s just a PITA.

JGrabowMSt > computiNATEor
11/23/2015 at 12:10

Another reason to love the E36.

computiNATEor > JGrabowMSt
11/23/2015 at 22:05

Heh, and why I’ve got half an eye open for a clean e36 M3.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > Joe F
12/04/2015 at 01:02

Hi there! I’m in California and I have re-cored cats in my Berlinetta.

Which state are you in, and what cats does your car have? Cheers!

Joe F > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever
12/04/2015 at 10:52

California.

This is the second set of oem cats - the first set being preemptively replaced when the valve guides were done.

Re-Coring is a good option, I supposed after market/higher flow cats would still pass CA emissions unless there were other issues.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > Joe F
12/04/2015 at 12:43

It was a good experiment to do. I had nothing to lose because my cats were taken out by header shrapnel. Hyper-flow sport cats are about the same price, and according to two friends who both run them on their F355s, they cannot reliably pass a CA sniff test.

I’m in the Bay Area; what about you?

Joe F > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever
12/06/2015 at 18:07

Ditto. Peninsula.