Why automotive reviews are bullsh!t

"Ike" (untitledcarshow) 11/16/2015 at 18:43 • Filed to: Car reviews

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If you’re reading this, you’re probably a car enthusiast, and as a car enthusiast, you most likely read car reviews. You may have noticed that over the years, a trend has come about in that car reviewers are getting nit-picky.

“Oh the infotainment system in the Ford Fiesta isn’t any good! It doesn’t sync with my blue tooth easily, I have to go through four, count them FOUR Menus just to sync it!”

You read such reviews from a hypothetical car reviewer, and you think to yourself, “Ugh, I don’t think we will be buying that Fiesta after all.”

Well don’t be so quick to judge, and don’t go too far the other way either.

“Well its automotive magazine’s 2016 light truck of the year, so it must blow the other trucks out of the water!”

Well no, none of that matters really.

“WHAT!? Madness! Blasphemy! I can’t believe you would say that! Don’t you know automotive journalists are the sole source of my enjoyment in my precious free time, or the time I should be working but am slacking off rather, or poop time, you know my time is precious (is what I mean).”

Well, I too am a man who loves to read a good article on a forthcoming vehicle, but as someone who is now “kind of” in the automotive world, I’ve started to notice some things.

There is a big Woolly Mammoth in the room, and no one in the automotive world wants to talk about it. No auto manufacturer makes a bad car anymore. This truth is actually a big problem for automotive journalists. Gone are the days of AMC, putting out lay-ups for ridicule. No more pintos, no more Saturn, no more easy targets (I personally loved the Saturn brand but I had no earthly reason, to). Even Smart the last bastion of shitty cars has stepped up their game (I would love to take home for a proper review, Smart, if you’re reading this).

So in a world of “good” cars, what are we to do as a reviewer, with the lack of bad eggs in the bunch? Well, the recent trend to nit-pick every little detail of cars ruins car reviews for me. I don’t want to read the automotive equivalent of a political take down ad because it’s boring and I just feel icky at the end.

Now, some of the journalists that I like, approach the review in a different manor, elaborating on how it “feels” to drive or worse, they just punch me in the face with so much data that I go cross-eyed. None of this really tells me anything about how owning one of these cars will be . I get that driving a BMW will “feel” better than driving a Chevy Sonic, and of course it will be faster, but I haven’t learned anything! I may enjoy the read but nothing has been contributed to my knowledge base.

So Ike, you’re so smart, tell us, how should we write about cars?

Well background and host is key. If I know why for instance Ford decided to go with an independent rear, I understand the car a little better. History and heritage play a big role in cars these days, and if you’re not a huge Fiat nerd, some of that may be lost on you. Once you understand where manufacturer is coming from, it’s a lot easier to see if they hit the mark or missed it.

Go ahead and tell us how it made you feel, but know that I still care about data, how the car drives and its road mannerisms. But if you’re getting out of a car that’s slow, with bad road manners, and yet you’re still smiling, that does tell me MUCH more than any stat could. If a fast, nimble vehicle doesn’t make you want to go around another time, or you just don’t love it for any reason, tell us- and why.

I don’t care how hard is the infotainment system is, or about the “somewhat disappointing” stitching on the seats; does the car do what you want it to do? Is it lying about what it is? I hate driving a car, and realizing that it wasn’t quite what I thought it was. SUVs that don’t work as people haulers, that don’t float like clouds. Small cars that don’t get good gas mileage. How does the car treat you an hour into a trip? Do the seats progressively become uncomfortable? Or does the vehicle just do something that it shouldn’t do (Like rallying a eco-boost Mustang).

I know that it’s a brave new world, and it’s easier to write bad things in order to get good ratings from your readers / viewers. But please, put more thought into the car rather than simply blasting small details way out of proportion.

Thanks for reading my article, nit-picking people who nit-pick cars.

Ike is co-host of the Untitled Car Show ( !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ) he has owned 2 Dodge Challengers; a Volvo C30, a V70XC, a V70R, 740; and a Saturn Ion . He is a new father and loves driving and autocrossing. He can jerry rig with the best of them, and he wrote his bio in third person. He also has 2 dogs, 2 cats and is a crazy person some say!

Email the author !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

MLGCarGuy > Ike 11/16/2015 at 18:54

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Extremely true, this. I was reading through the MT 2016 Car of the Year contenders and finalists lists and found that I disagreed with nearly all of their opinions.

It’s called an opinion for a reason. I don’t care that you think the technology in the new 7 Series is silly, I think it’s awesome. On the same note, critiquing car styling is also pointless. MT was saying the new Civic looks strange and awkward. I think it looks handsome.

Also, reviewers nowadays tend to focus on how fun a car is to drive, not practical things. I find that annoying, because most of the time you’re going to shop for a daily driver to get you from point A to B. You don’t canyon carve and powerslide to the office. (but if you do I salute you)

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > Ike 11/16/2015 at 18:57

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Really applies to how much power the average Joe needs or wants, and what car journalists expect in today’s HP crazy world too. Recently bought a Subaru Crosstrek - 148HP. Every damn review of it says how horribly underpowered and lethargic it is. You know what - it doesn’t matter. I’m down 150HP from my last car on this, and it works just fine. Yes it’s not going to win any drag strip races...but it’s literally a car most people buy to go get groceries in. I must say that given what I was prepping myself for given the reviews (cool car, great concept, but meh...slow and boring) - I’m extremely pleasantly surprised by how much I like it!

RallyWrench > Ike 11/16/2015 at 18:59

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This is also why Consumer Reports ratings are often BS. CR themselves conduct pretty thorough testing. It’s the Consumer Report part that throws things off, because people think Bluetooth connection failure constitutes a reliability problem.

Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed > Ike 11/16/2015 at 19:00

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I’ve been watching the retro Motorweek reviews recently on Youtube, and I feel like they are great, well-rounded reviews. They hit all the important points in performance and usability. Most importantly they are concise.

And I disagree, some manufacturers still manage to put out bad cars. My last two rentals cars, the Chevy Cruze and Buick Verano were both garbage (at least in their rental spec). Uncomfortable seats, interiors that were simultaneously stuffy and cheap, and a ride that felt floaty and not planted. In a vacuum, or compared to other vehicles, those are objectively bad cars.

Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street. > Ike 11/16/2015 at 19:01

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Someone in a review called the Grand Prix (N/a 3.8) 8 second 0-60 “glacial”. Really? That would have made a cover page with an exclamation point in 1983. Crap cars today are amazing compared to what good cars used to be.

Berang > Ike 11/16/2015 at 19:05

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I have stacks of 1970s and 1980s car mags, and what is interesting to me is when one looks at just the data, most of the cars in a given class perform basically the same on paper (ie. acceleration, skidpad, noise level, etc,).

So the authors have to do things like talk about the comfort or feel of the car, and look for flaws in the materials or craftsmanship. At least in that age there were still plenty of ergonomic disasters going on in interiors, and a few cars which though they may have performed well on paper - just sucked the fun out of driving.

I stopped reading car mags around 2005, don’t have much interest in new car reviews.

Ike > Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed 11/16/2015 at 19:07

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I agree rental spec stuff can be trash. But cars are reliable, nothing’s gonna break down less then 100k miles. some might be worst then others. And we should know about such things. But no one makes a truely ungodly bad car, like I will tackle you on the way to the dealer to prevent you from buying that bad car.

Ike > Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street. 11/16/2015 at 19:10

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It’s almost a disservice to us as car enthusiasts, cars today are great! We should enjoy them for their awesome stats and reliability as opposed to Yesteryears.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Ike 11/16/2015 at 19:13

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The biggest issue I have with some reviews is what they consider ‘underpowered’.

I’ve driven truly underpowered cars. In Canada and the US, it’s not possible to buy a new underpowered car anymore... at least as far as daily driving goes.

If you “need” a car for winning at the drag strip, well yeah, then you can never have too much.

But that isn’t relevant to most car buyers.

The next biggest issue is influence-pedalling. They’ll never judge a car too harshly if the automaker is giving them a lot of advertising dollars.

Tied in with this is glossing over a car maker’s reliability issues. Consumer Reports and Apa.ca/Lemon Aid are two of the few publications that don’t do that.

And I agree... the tendency to make a big deal over minor things like how nice a piece of trim feels is really annoying... especially if it’s in a cheap/basic entry level car. Of course if the piece of trim is made of razorblades that severed one of your fingers... yeah, that’s something to make a big deal about.

TheHondaBro > ZHP Sparky, the 5th 11/16/2015 at 19:17

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I’ve heard people criticize the new Fit for being underpowered. Sure, 130 hp is nothing to shake a stick at, but having driven one a lot, I can safely say it has all the power it needs, and that’s what’s important.

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > TheHondaBro 11/16/2015 at 19:19

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Yeah, sadly these reviews have real effects though. I was trying super hard to get a friend to buy a Fit - it was perfect for her...small car with plenty of space and good fun at a low price. But she was super scared about how underpowered it was and about “merging onto highways” that instead she went and bought a much bigger Subaru Outback instead...which I doubt is actually any quicker and is decidedly less nimble.

dogisbadob > Ike 11/16/2015 at 19:29

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Actually, there are still bad cars out there. VW’s cheating diesels, and Fiat and Land Rover are still as shitty as ever. Fiat had to leave the US market for a reason, only to come back after 25 years the same place they left: at the bottom.

Isn’t the Spark a fairly shitty car as well?

TheHondaBro > ZHP Sparky, the 5th 11/16/2015 at 19:29

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My only complaint with the Fit is the crappy infotainment system you get in the higher trim models. Other than that, it’s a great little car.

El Rivinado > Ike 11/16/2015 at 19:38

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It’s also becoming really prevalent in lots of ways that go against what some people like.

For example, I’ve seen plenty of cars that have soft rides that have been reviewed and they often view it as a detriment. Forgive me, oh hoity toity car reviewers, but some people may not view a soft ride as a bad thing. Some may view it as a good thing, because some may live where the roads aren’t paved and they have no ass padding and suffer from occasional lower back ache. Forgive me if I look for soft riding cars, maybe I don’t wish to go around the Nurburgring and carve corners, because I don’t live in a place where the opportunity may arise, and I don’t wish to deal with a car that rides like it’s on a mine cart track.

I don’t take car reviews seriously anymore, what the car reviewers like and what I like are two different things. Here’s my car review guide.

“Do I like it’s aesthetics? Yes”

“Does it speak to me in a way I like? Yes?”

“Is it reasonably comfortable? Yes.”

If it meets all of that, I don’t care about anything else (Apart from necessary head and leg room for my 6’3 frame and how big the trunk is.)

Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed > Ike 11/16/2015 at 20:04

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There aren’t any more Yugos, that’s for sure.

Spoon II > El Rivinado 11/16/2015 at 20:12

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I can totally respect where you’re coming from, I actually love a soft-riding boat of a car. I live in Newfoundland, where the roads contain more potholes than actual asphalt. It’s nice to float over those bad boys.

random001 > ZHP Sparky, the 5th 11/16/2015 at 21:47

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This. We have a ‘14 XV, love it. I personally don’t love it as much as I love my 300 WTQ Legacy GT, but they are both great cars. The XV has plenty of go.

lunr > Ike 11/16/2015 at 22:32

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If I know why for instance Ford decided to go with an independent rear, I understand the car a little better.

Gosh, I would love to read car reviews that go over those types of things - the reasoning behind design and technical decisions and how they affect the drive, performance, handling. Where would I find these?

Ike > lunr 11/16/2015 at 22:37

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I sense sarcasm

lunr > Ike 11/16/2015 at 22:41

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Sorry if it came across that way. I really do like to read technical reviews over what you’d find in the Autos section of your average magazine or newspaper. Just getting into cars as a hobby / interest, so I’m new to the game, if you will, and don’t know where to look.

Like, when I was researching Subarus, I much preferred the videos and articles about the difference between Subaru’s AWD vs FWD-biased AWD and how both react in different situations vs articles on how comfortable they were to ride in or what features came with the automatic climate control.

Ike > lunr 11/16/2015 at 23:02

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Gotcha, I assumed because we have so many people who write great articles about super technical stuff here on opposite lock there was a bit of sarcasm. that's what I get for assuming .

lunr > Ike 11/16/2015 at 23:21

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I’m pretty new to Oppo. Maybe a few months of casual browsing and a couple weeks of deep reading. You’re right, Oppo has it, Foxtrot Alpha has it. Keeps me coming back.

Guess what I was implying in my original comment was what other sites out there that offered the same.

Ike > lunr 11/16/2015 at 23:24

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Not enough, and few others do it consistently.

lunr > Ike 11/16/2015 at 23:27

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Glad I found Oppo then.

lunr > Ike 11/16/2015 at 23:54

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Found you - your avatar gave you away :-)

Any recommended episodes?

Ike > lunr 11/17/2015 at 00:10

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Lol, good! Uh let’s see, the Jason torchinsky episode is a great episode to start. Both Steve letho episodes are good, and he was our first “get” so that was fun. The right foot down guys, bozi of hoonable are both interesting interviews. hope that helps you!

lunr > Ike 11/17/2015 at 00:15

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Lehto? That’s awesome. I follow his podcast. Thanks for the recommendations. I’ll add ‘em to my playlist.

Ike > lunr 11/17/2015 at 00:17

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Excellent. Let me know what you think!

ZHP Sparky, the 5th > random001 11/17/2015 at 11:19

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Funny...I just sold my 05 Legacy GT wagon with a light tune on it. It was a great car but I rarely drove it and my wife couldn’t (stick). We get more use and MPG out of the XV and its easier to find parking for. Sure I miss the GT, but sometimes you gotta make decisions that make sense.

random001 > ZHP Sparky, the 5th 11/17/2015 at 14:21

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Decision replaced my Z06 with the LGT. Well, those, and the kid...

lunr > Ike 11/23/2015 at 13:34

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I listened to both of the Lehto episodes. The ride he had with Leno in the steam car would have been an awesome sight to see. I also listened to the Torchinsky episode. I only ever see his writing on Jalopnik and never heard him talk or be interviewed, but you can really tell in the interview how much he is into cars, Jalopnik and his readers - you guys brought out his enthusiasm really well. That was a fun episode to listen to. I’ve added Untitled Car Show podcast to my podcast reader and look forward to future episodes after I get through a few more of the past ones.

Ike > lunr 11/23/2015 at 13:44

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Thanks sir for the kind words, I’m glad you enjoying it!

That’s kind of what I enjoy of the interviews. A lot of these guys and gals I interview are known for one thing or the other, but put them in front of a mic and talking cars, you can feel the love of cars they have, that you don't get through some other sorts of media