"Wilsonic" (wilsonic)
10/29/2015 at 17:50 • Filed to: None
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"Wilsonic" (wilsonic)
10/29/2015 at 17:50 • Filed to: None | 7
| 4 |
Road rage videos, my daily commute and long distance road trips I have driven all reinforce this idea that I just can’t shake. We all have very different ideas about what proper driving is.
Apologizing in advance, this all might sound like rambling. Mostly because I’m typing on an iPad while lying in bed feeling super lazy, but not lazy enough to not write on Oppo. I’ve got some stuff I need to get off my chest and what I want to type is too long for John Oliver’s “Scream into the Void”. So here we go.
Just in the past couple of days alone, I have seen near accidents or have almost been in accidents. Usually involves one aggressive party and one “not paying attention” party. Just today, I had a guy cut me off trying to make a pass on the right around some slow moving cars in the left. From the far, far right was an old man in a brand new Porsche who seemed to not have a single clue as to what was around him. The old man sloppily and slowly merged in front of the aggressive right passer, causing a near accident. Everyone involved was an idiot. But I’m sure if you asked each driver who was at fault, neither one would say themselves.
I tend to side with the aggressors, not having much sympathy or patience with people with no sense of urgency or purpose of travel. However, for me it’s not about getting there sooner. I’ve tried to leave early and it doesn’t help much. I was raised to do everything with a sense of purpose and confidence. My dad told me to walk with my shoulders square, feet straight with a long, confident stride. So when I get stuck behind someone doing 5 under the limit with their turn signal stuck on, it’s like getting stuck behind the little old lady at the grocery store who shuffles her feet slowly forward. No! Chin up! Back straight! Walk like you own the place! Drive like you give a damn!
But who am I to fill in the gaps between the rules of driving that have been established by law? If other drivers want to coast along listlessly and I have nowhere to be, why can’t I just coast along with them? Why can’t I relax? I don’t like being stressed, so why do I do this to myself? Also who is more in the right, the speeders or the turtles? Most of the population drives faster than the speed limit. I try to keep it around 5 - 10 above the limit. It’s the minority of drivers that actually obeys the speed limit. But the speed limit is the law, and the law is the social contract that we all buy into. And it’s strange how most people talk about the speed limit, including myself. We speeders treat the speed limit as the slowest possible speed we should being going, not the highest. I can’t tell you how many times I have said, “look at this guy, he’s not even doing the speed limit!”
I am not a superior driver by any means though, and I do make mistakes. Yesterday I went to enter a roundabout. The car currently in the roundabout came in from my right. I assumed they would exit the roundabout in such a manner that would not interfere with me. But sure enough, they kept circling in the roundabout to go through the exact same side they entered it in, essentially using the roundabout to do an elaborate u-turn. I locked up my brakes to avoid getting in front of them. Was their behavior unusual? Yes, but my behavior was flat out wrong. I assumed too much and should not have entered the roundabout until I was sure of their intentions. They are in the roundabout, they have the right away. Period.
I try to remember my mistakes to keep me more humble so I am not as quick to get angry from a false sense of superiority. We all have different ideas of what proper driving is, and as long as I get where I am going safe and sound, that is all that should matter.
Urambo Tauro
> Wilsonic
10/29/2015 at 18:31 |
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Well said.
There are so many driving styles out there, that do indeed conflict with one another. Aggressive and clueless driving can be equally bad. Who do I side with? It depends completely on the situation at hand. So often, both parties are wrong.
CommonSenseIsn't
> Wilsonic
10/29/2015 at 18:50 |
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When I was young, I was a screw-up... as such, I wasn’t allowed to get my license as a teen. I learned to drive in Germany as a young soldier overseas, and my formative years were spent observing my father drive in Oregon.
When I returned to the ‘states (duty station in California) and got a license, I had serious road-rage. Major road-rage. Near-homicidal road-rage... and my ex (GF at the time) asked me why. I took a couple of days to think about it before I answered her, and the reality when it came crashing in on me was liberating:
When/where I learned to drive, other drivers were *polite*. If you signaled your intent to change lanes, they didn’t speed up to occupy that space, they let up on the throttle a bit to let you in. If they nearly missed their exit they went on to the next and circled around rather than try and force their way into a line of cars that had already gotten into the correct lane... and when I got to California, I encountered a prevalent “Me First” attitude. Drivers there are flatly RUDE.
But - what was driving my rage wasn’t their rudeness, but my need to control it. I am a recovering control-freak. It took me years and years to get over it, including court-ordered therapy for an un-related offense.
Road Rage is anger. Anger is a secondary emotion, nearly always covering up a different emotion. Anger is almost always fear in drag.
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Wilsonic
> CommonSenseIsn't
10/31/2015 at 09:30 |
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Thanks for your reply, I appreciate you sharing your insight. I think road rage does extend from sensing a lack of politeness, real or perceived. I know for me it’s people not extending the same courtesy that I would. If I feel like I’m holding someone up, I move out of the way. What does it matter to me if they want to go faster? I let them go, I continue on the pace I wanted to go, all is good. But no one extends the same courtesy to me. I feel they have this “I own the road, I’m going to teach you a lesson young man” sort of mentality. Definitely feels like a “me first, I’m the leader” situation. Even more baffling is the tailgaters I pull over for and let go, only to watch them slow down when they get out in front. Just have to be first!
Perhaps I fear not being able to control my surroundings as well. As an engineer, shade tree mechanic and do it yourself homeowner, I'm always trying to fix everything. I have to remind myself I can't fix everything in the world, including other drivers. I just have to let it go and focus on what's important: just getting home.
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CommonSenseIsn't
> Wilsonic
10/31/2015 at 09:58 |
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Heh... I’m one of those that lets people by also. Once (again when I was younger and much more hostile), I “taught” one a lesson; a lesson that lasted 124 miles. I still get laughs every time I tell the story. :D