Some More Cars That Would Cause Seizures in 1985

"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion) 10/21/2015 at 16:22 • Filed to: lists

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Okay, so Marginoferror beat me to it, but here are some more cars that I think 1985 people would have crapped their sweet bleached jeans over. I had some of the same cars, not surprisingly, but I took those out.

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Everyone was saying this car looks, feels, and is built like a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . And yeah, that’s pretty much it. You can even interact with it !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

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Put anyone from 1985 into a modern supercar with 500+ hp, let alone a “hypercar” approaching 1,000hp, and their head might just explode so fast you’ll want to maybe show them at a distance first. You know, so you don’t get brains all over your P1.

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How can I not include the flagship Merc that always is at the forefront of technology and safety? This thing probably stops just short of Tesla’s self-driving capabilities, and these things always have, and I hope always will, look amazing. I guess this wouldn’t shock 1985 in the same way as the i8, but it would certainly give them a new standard for what a car could be.

Ford Fiesta ST

Compare this to the little econobox they sold in 1985 as a Fiesta. Then pretty much double or triple the power and add a bunch of technology and safety features (yes, also curb weight) and you have this fine little machine above. Imagine a 911 owner in 1985, when you say, “I’ve got a stock Ford Fiesta that can keep up with your Porsche.”

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Okay, I had to include this, because a) it was on the other list, and b) it’s shocking for a different reason. Clarkson accuses Porsche designers of being lazy; they don’t hold a candle to the G- designers, who haven’t worked since about 1972. Here’s an actual photo of an ‘85 for sale on the interwebz right now:

What would you say, if you saw a rendering for a 2045 model year car , and it looked EXACTLY like a current model??

Bugatti Veyron

I know, we’re basically sick of hearing about this car by now. But think about it, with its 16 cylinders, 4 turbos, 10 radiators, 64 valves, the Special Key, and that crazy expensive tire service that involves unicorns and fairy dust. Oh yeah and it’s capable of actual ludicrous speed. Now put this thing on the street in 1985. Street cars weren’t even breaking 200mph in 1985. This thing is “just getting going” at 200.

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This is a modern Ford family sedan. Think back to their offerings in the early 80’s... yeah.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > functionoverfashion 10/21/2015 at 16:30

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FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem > functionoverfashion 10/21/2015 at 16:32

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My vote goes to the BMW 2 series “Active Tourer”. Who would’ve thought about a fwd 3 cylinder Beamer mpv in ‘85?

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > functionoverfashion 10/21/2015 at 16:33

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Wait, you mean these are made by the same company?

burnermenatwork > functionoverfashion 10/21/2015 at 16:34

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To be fair, though, the Taurus was introduced in 1985 (and wouldn’t look too awful next to a current Fusion) and the Carrera 3.2 did 0-60 in 5.3 seconds.

duurtlang > FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem 10/21/2015 at 16:34

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That’s a good suggestion. Throw the X6 in as well. They’re very far removed from what BMW stood for in the 1980s, and imho not in a good way.

Connqr > burnermenatwork 10/21/2015 at 18:01

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Also, wasn’t the original Taurus praised?

functionoverfashion > duurtlang 10/22/2015 at 08:15

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I thought about the X6. I had 10 in there, then took a couple out that were duplicated in Marginoferror’s post... anyway. Not enough time.

functionoverfashion > burnermenatwork 10/22/2015 at 08:19

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the Carrera 3.2 did 0-60 in 5.3 seconds.

True, and what’s the Fiesta, over 6 seconds? But still, compared with a 1985 Fiesta, this thing is pretty close in numbers to an 80’s 911. My friend had several Fiestas in high school (his father collected them) and they were fun, but certainly not fast.