If you were a car, what car would you (realistically) be?

"My citroen won't start" (lucasboechat) 10/08/2015 at 22:08 • Filed to: None

1

41

Since I was born in 1989, am quite tall but a bit fat, think I’m classy but really am not, smoke a lot and am prone to failures. I’d probably be a Citroen CX

TheHondaBro > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:09

0

Accord Crosstour V6.

A bit on the larger side but quite strong.

My citroen won't start > TheHondaBro 10/08/2015 at 22:12

0

So you are 5 years old?

TheHondaBro > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:14

0

Umm no lol.

pjhusa > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:14

0

‘02 ML320 yooooo

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:15

2

I’ll say the NC Miata. Not because I’m worshiped like a god among men (though you can bow before me), but off looks alone I’m usually happy go lucky, up beat, and usually have some stupid smile across my face 24/7. On the flip side, like the Miata, people usually get the wrong impression of me before they even honestly say a word to me. Can’t think of many more reasons at the moment

Master Cylinder > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:17

0

Born in 1986. Lotta power in my rear end.

Scary__goongala! > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:20

5

I do a lot of meth.

djmt1 > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:23

0

Born in 93

Fast in a straight line

British with foreign heritage

Heart of gold

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:23

0

Hmm....Born in 1995, average height and weight....Unsure of himself and the future, prone to fail quite randomly then break down afterwards, but also has good moments of brilliance and winning. What does that make me?

Van Man, rocks the Man Van > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:23

0

E39 M5

From the early 2000s. Large but relatively athletic with a strong engine. Despite that, still practical and good all around.

El Rivinado > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:25

2

1996 Lincoln Town Car. I’m a fairly big person (6’3), I certainly have a distinctive style but most people don’t notice me. I may face a lot of rough obstacles, but for the most part, I try and soak them up as best as I can. I’ll always accommodate as many or as little of my friends as need be. I certainly try and make everybody feel calm and relaxed when they’re around me. I don’t have a lot of power, but when you press down hard enough, I can go surprisingly far. And while I may have several niggling small little faults that only belong to me, and I may have the occasional thing or moment that goes wrong, no matter what, I always try to be there for the ones I care about, I never suffer anything serious, and I always am there to support them with whatever they need, even if I’m not up to my complete self. Plus I look good in a nice dark color of suit.

My citroen won't start > Scary__goongala! 10/08/2015 at 22:25

1

Sounds about right.

Van Man, rocks the Man Van > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 10/08/2015 at 22:26

0

E36 M3? First gen Boxster?

itschrome > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:28

0

1987 Dodge Aries wagon se

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 10/08/2015 at 22:28

0

an Alfa?

Your boy, BJR > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:32

1

‘93 Allanté. Although it took me longer than most of my peers to get it right, I finally have, and as such, I’m a true contender now, although my past mistakes might hold me back. I'm a snappy dresser, maybe a bit vulgar for some, but what I lack in refined taste I make up for in ambition.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:34

0

Hmm I can think of one vehicle that was still in production in 1987:

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:35

0

I’m from the south, but I’m kinda slow and definitely a base model. The pictured truck is a V6 and that kinda works for me.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Van Man, rocks the Man Van 10/08/2015 at 22:36

1

I’ll pick the M3, solely because I loath convertible performance cars.

crowmolly > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:36

0

440 Roadrunner.

Tall with a build for a particular purpose. Not too flashy.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 10/08/2015 at 22:36

0

I don’t know Alfas.

wafflesnfalafel > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:36

0

Buick Grand National - kinda plain on the outside, but responds when provoked.

Your boy, BJR > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 10/08/2015 at 22:38

0

Taurus SHO

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Your boy, BJR 10/08/2015 at 22:39

0

Which one....

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:41

0

1999 Nissan Maxima. A bit overpriced, a bit slow, but otherwise surprisingly nice.

Your boy, BJR > itschrome 10/08/2015 at 22:41

4

THAT is the most depressing self assessment I've ever read.

Your boy, BJR > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 10/08/2015 at 22:42

0

The ‘95. Duh.

BJ > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:49

1

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Your boy, BJR 10/08/2015 at 22:49

0

The last year of the good SHOs for like a decade, that’s not bad.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 22:49

0

Dodge Caliber SRT4

I’m kinda weird, and not that good looking, I don’t really fit in with most people, but if you get to know me, you’ll find that I’m actually pretty fun, and always will to help a buddy out(practical cars are like helpful people.)

Also I love this weirdo car.

If your into astrology(and I’m very not) then I’m 1990 Ford Taurus. Lets just say it’s a SHO, because like I said, I like to have fun.

BJ > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/08/2015 at 22:51

0

Ha! You posted first, but I’m not changing mine. I dunno if they made this car in my birth year, but it’s close enough.

Your boy, BJR > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 10/08/2015 at 22:55

0

For like a decade? Forever. SHOs need 2 ingredients to be good: NA and Manual.

Otherwise they're just a slightly nicer Taurus.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > BJ 10/08/2015 at 23:01

0

Still the best vehicle I’ve ever owned.

itschrome > Your boy, BJR 10/08/2015 at 23:02

1

You think so? I mean I’m by all means a practical man, I’m comfortable with what I got and make the best of it. I don’t pretended to be something I’m not and I’m not so hung up on it either. I’m useful to have around, I don’t mind carrying my friends/loved ones and their baggage. I’m fairly low maintenance how ever when I do break I mend easily enough. I’m a little battered and weathered because my life hasn’t been an easy life, but fuck it I’m still going. I’m fairly unassuming and most people don’t really care for me. if you spend enough time around me you’ll find the quirks you’ll love to learn. Maybe I’m not the fastest, the smartest, the most successful nor do I have all the stuff I’d like to have how ever come end of the day that’s not gonna get me down. I got what I need and I’m ok with that..

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > My citroen won't start 10/08/2015 at 23:50

0

‘86 Mercedes 190e 2.3-16

Pretty quick but not the fastest by any means. I think I’m classier than I actually am. Mostly reliable, but when things don’t go right they really don’t go right. Knows how to stir things up. Plain, but decent looks. Kind of the runt of the family (I’m 5’10” and 150lbs, most of the men in my family are another 50-75 pounds over me and a few inches taller with a build for handegg/football whereas I’m more of a runner).

phenotyp > My citroen won't start 10/09/2015 at 00:15

0

This one was about as close to me as a car could get.

Unusual to begin with, with some unique modifications. Faster and better than you think. Weirdo among weirdos.

MultiplaOrgasms > My citroen won't start 10/09/2015 at 10:51

0

1998

quiet most of the time

pretty capable

occasionally slightly stupid

well proportioned

wiffleballtony > My citroen won't start 10/09/2015 at 11:10

0

Not because I like this in anyway. However, it’s the right vintage. I’m tall. I’m American by birth. I’m not terribly fast or well balanced. I’m not very sophisticated. While I would prefer to be represented by something faster this is pretty close.

touring the brook - now with ZHP! > My citroen won't start 10/09/2015 at 17:45

0

Bitter at times, likes value in things.

(Insert economy car from 2000 here)

Pabuuu, JDM car enthusiast & Italian parts hoarder > My citroen won't start 10/10/2015 at 20:07

0

Looks promising, but not actually a great performer.

1997 Alfa Gtv

wkiernan > My citroen won't start 10/10/2015 at 21:49

0

I’m a sixty year old American.