Ever have one of those days...

"vdub_nut: scooter snob" (jollyroger1210) 01/28/2015 at 18:39 • Filed to: None

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Where you think it's gonna go great, and then the corporate hatchet-men* show up and start snooping around? And your coworkers are extra annoying? And there's no coffee left in the break room (caffeinated, and we only buy decaf for the irritating coworker from last sentence)?

Have some cars for your time while I go hit the gym extra hard.

*since nobody seems to know what this means when I say it, think the "consultants" from office space

crowmolly > vdub_nut: scooter snob 01/28/2015 at 18:42

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"The Bobs"

Ouch. Hope tomorrow is better for you!

PatBateman > vdub_nut: scooter snob 01/28/2015 at 18:49

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WHAT EVIL SON OF A BITCH ONLY BUYS DECAFFEINATED COFFEE FOR AN OFFICE?!?!

vdub_nut: scooter snob > crowmolly 01/28/2015 at 18:51

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How could I forget that.....

vdub_nut: scooter snob > PatBateman 01/28/2015 at 18:54

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Oh, we buy shit tons of caffeinated coffee, but it's the end of the month, and we're out. All that's left is the two-month old pack for the one total bitch that drinks decaf (AND BRAGS THAT SHE'S TOUGH CAUSE SHE DRINKS IT BLACK).

Yah'hokayyyy.

PatBateman > vdub_nut: scooter snob 01/28/2015 at 18:57

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I can't even. My office has a glorious machine that makes everything from Snickers lattes to green tea. Cappuccino? Done. Espresso? Here ya go. Sorry to rub it in, but we (financial advisors at a major Wall Street firm) would totally f*cking riot if we didn't have caffeinated coffee at ANY point of the month.

vdub_nut: scooter snob > PatBateman 01/28/2015 at 19:07

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I was too decaffeinated to riot.

Also, how do I get your job? Are you Jordan Belfort?

PatBateman > vdub_nut: scooter snob 01/28/2015 at 20:56

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I worked my way up. After I graduated from college, no one was hiring in the finance sector, so I started off as a teller at a credit union. Nine months later, I became a Financial Services Rep (banker). After four total years there, I moved to a bank that allowed me to get my FINRA licenses (6, 63, 65) and insurance license so I could sell mutual funds and annuities. After three years of that (and after networking the shit out of my community), I moved to a Wall Street brokerage that allowed me to get a Series 7 (stockbroker license) and 31 (managed futures). And here I am. I want to get a Series 79 license soon (Investment Banker license, for M&A and Private Equity deals), but I'd need a slightly different position for them to allow that.

And no, I'm not Jordan Bellfort. I stay away from things like micro cap stocks and cheating people out of their money. :)

vdub_nut: scooter snob > PatBateman 01/28/2015 at 22:16

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That's where I'm at. Graduated with a BSBA majoring in management, took the first job I could to get out of the restaurant kitchen I was working at. Without revealing too much (you know, on this post where I bitch about coworkers and hatchet-men) I too work in a bank, and if I stay there, plan to follow a similar career path as you. I've been following the stock market since fourth grade, when my dad said "You know, vdub, let's take this money you have sitting around and do something productive with it. Which sounds cooler, Pfizer or ExxonMobil?"

And then I was hooked, because Exxon doubled my money and then split 2:1. As a nine/ten year old.

Alternatively, I want to become a landlord and/or franchise a restaurant. Got an start-up capital to lend me?

Also, I keep thinking "hey, maybe I could be the lucky one with penny stocks!!", so it's probably good I'm too poor to gamble with those.

PatBateman > vdub_nut: scooter snob 01/29/2015 at 00:15

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Just say no to penny stocks.

Apply to Merrill Lynch, UBS, and Morgan Stanley. But demand to be on an existing team. You'll be doing a lot of cold calling, but you learn a lot and you'll have a better chance of success. Also, DO NOT become an advisor at a banking center (retail location). That's a black hole for talent.

Jdrentarol > vdub_nut: scooter snob 03/01/2016 at 06:31

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And here we see a row of broken down Benzes