This Makes Me Very Sad

"Branden J -Reading the Manual" (intakelake) 01/19/2015 at 21:46 • Filed to: None

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If you wanna test your gag reflex, go ahead and read this wonderful list. A friend of mine just posted this on their Facebook, is it wrong to unfriend them?

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TheHondaBro > Branden J -Reading the Manual 01/19/2015 at 21:50

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Reason #1 to drive a manual:

IT THWARTS MOST CAR THIEVES.

Branden J -Reading the Manual > TheHondaBro 01/19/2015 at 21:51

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Exactly! The best anti-theft system money can buy today!

Snuze: Needs another Swede > Branden J -Reading the Manual 01/19/2015 at 21:51

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Unfriend is acceptable in this case.

TheHondaBro > Branden J -Reading the Manual 01/19/2015 at 21:52

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I wait for the day I can swap a 6-speed manual transmission in my car.

$3000 that will be well spent.

dogisbadob > Branden J -Reading the Manual 01/19/2015 at 21:52

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It's an insurance company, and insurance companies are stupid, what do you expect?

I'm going to buy another car when I get my tax refund, and it's going to be manual.

CB > Branden J -Reading the Manual 01/19/2015 at 21:53

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"Let me free up that right hand for better steering and radio-station-finding," it says. "I'll take care of these dirty gear ratios."

What.

"Reason #2 to drive an automatic: you're older now"

... still what.

"Reason #5 to drive an automatic: it's a luxury in Europe"

So what you're saying is that I should base my vehicle choices on what other people consider a luxury?

Look, there are actual, real reasons as to why an automatic can be better than a manual, but this list manages to not do that. Smooth moves.

PanchoVilleneuve ST > Branden J -Reading the Manual 01/19/2015 at 21:54

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One day, car enthusiasts will stop giving a shit about this and acting all high and mighty about "autotragics" and all the other shit they get all uppity about because honestly who the fuck cares.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Branden J -Reading the Manual 01/19/2015 at 21:55

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Some people complain about driving a stick in rush hour traffic. I've never been bothered. I just think of it as extended city driving.

CAR_IS_MI > Branden J -Reading the Manual 01/19/2015 at 21:56

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Reason #5...

Oh well if its a luxury in Europe then fuck me in the anus, I'm going to go trade in my manual "poor-person-mobile" for a fancy European luxury and a bag of tea.

Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis > Branden J -Reading the Manual 01/19/2015 at 21:56

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#1: Lets be honest here, thats a major reason why we're so damn obese now. Easy is better isnt always the right attitude.

#2: Fuck you I'm not old.

#3: So fuck the $300 laptop I have thats working just fine. Throw it out the window and get a $2000 laptop because of technological innovation.

#4: Options are great. By driving both you have about 100% or the car market at your disposal instead of 80%.

#5: That sounds like an american tourist tax because we can drive manuals here, not a luxury thing.

Conan > Branden J -Reading the Manual 01/19/2015 at 21:56

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Every time I feel bad about not having an SRT-6 I think about my manual and smile.

Jedidiah > Branden J -Reading the Manual 01/19/2015 at 21:57

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That list was terrible. Here are some good reasons why a person would drive an automatic:

1. It's the only thing that can stand up to the power of your blown big block v8

2. Precise stall speed for hard launches in drag racing

3. It has a reverse manual valvebody and sequential ratchet shifter

4. You don't have looming clutch repairs.

5. You have a Hurst Dual Gate 442 or incredibly luxurious land barge from the 50s.

If these don't apply to you, get a manual.

ranwhenparked > CB 01/19/2015 at 21:58

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Yeah, really. A car with 4 wheels is considered a luxury in India. A consumer in the American market doesn't need to consider anything other than their own expectations and requirements.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > PanchoVilleneuve ST 01/19/2015 at 21:59

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Just wait until the other two pedals and the steering wheel disappear. The uppity will become hypocrisy. Technology advances—as does any trend—and it takes a bit of individualism to not care sometimes.

AthomSfere > Branden J -Reading the Manual 01/19/2015 at 22:00

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Yes, unfriend him!

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/19/2015 at 22:02

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I've driven in rush hour traffic before, and its not bad. I have no problems at all with a manual.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Jedidiah 01/19/2015 at 22:52

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What are your power specifications for number 1?

66671 - 200 [METRIC] my dash > TheHondaBro 01/19/2015 at 23:10

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What do you drive?

TheHondaBro > 66671 - 200 [METRIC] my dash 01/19/2015 at 23:14

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Accord. The 6MT from the Acura 3.2 engines will fit it.

Ryanator122 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/20/2015 at 02:33

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Less fun with a 1957 Chevy Pickup (or other car where the clutch is heavy AF)

I specifically avoid driving in San Francisco because my car is a manual. It's probably not helped by the fact that the car has no torque and I don't ever do hill starts, but I digress.

jdrgoat - Ponticrack? > Branden J -Reading the Manual 01/20/2015 at 03:14

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After reading the first two so-called "points" they've had, I feel the need for a point-by-point takedown.

#1
"I won't let us roll backward, ever . You just keep being you."

That depends on the stall point of the automatic. Some modern, and many performance modified, automatics will definitely roll backwards on a hill. I have driven new automatic cars that have exhibited this behavior. And he praises technology, of which is also on the manual transmission's side, with hill start assist that won't roll backward when you take off from a stop.

#2
Not rolling into cars driven by people you've never met.

I'm sorry, I've never seen a manual roll into another car when someone accidentally let off the brakes while in drive.

#3
If, on the other hand, you're stuck on the stick because you think it's a better way to drive, you may be watching the proverbial VHS cassette. Early consumer gripes about automatic's slower response times, poor gas mileage, and higher maintenance costs are increasingly outdated thanks to 70+ years of technological progress.

I'm going to let my inner-oppo ignore this because of seeing red.

#4
it gives you more options

Chicken, meet egg. NOW GET OFF MY LAWN.

#5
it's a luxury in Europe [...] Because Europe totally gets it.

Is it just me, or is this backwards? Europe totally gets that manuals are better. That's why they're more common there! And the [stupid -ed] Americans will pay more for an automatic rental if we force them to!

Conclusion. Unfriend said friend.

jdrgoat - Ponticrack? > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/20/2015 at 03:24

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There has only been one time this 'reason' echoed with me. I was caught in traffic due to a road construction detour. Due to the traffic that caused, it took me an hour and a half to go about two miles. I still had my stock, very easy to drive, clutch at the time. The next day, I noticed that my left leg was a bit sore, and wasn't sure why. Until about midway through the day, when it hit me: That much clutch operation in that short of time.

thebigbossyboss > jdrgoat - Ponticrack? 01/20/2015 at 07:49

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The only time I find it irksome, is if as you mentioned you're going too slow to hold a gear. If I am in traffic and can generally or often hold 1st, 2nd or 3rd gear it's alright, but when you get the constant inching along I agree it's a royal pain.

There is a road here that likes to do that, and I just inch up stop, and wait until I can put it into gear before moving again. This is alright because there's no entrances and exits, so it doesn't make to a difference to as when we "get there" as you will.

thebigbossyboss > Jedidiah 01/20/2015 at 07:49

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...But but what if I want a 70's landbarge :(

Jedidiah > thebigbossyboss 01/21/2015 at 01:25

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Then you're good.