help find a stolen car?

"MonkeePuzzle" (monkeypuzzle)
01/09/2015 at 09:57 • Filed to: None

not sure if we should assist in finding the thief, sounds like bad things in store should he be found.

"This morning I woke up to the sound of my car being revved up in the garage. By the time I got out the door, the car was pulling away down the street.

Pretty awesome Tuesday morning.

Car is a '99 GT. White. Cobra R wheels. Vortech Supercharger, all kinds of mods. I put a lot of money/work into it. Someone had been scoping it, and broke into my garage to get it at five in the morning. While I was home. Ballsy move, I give them that. I'm going to vent a little:

What you DON'T know, you piece of sh*t, is that if I had woken about ten seconds earlier, and actually caught you in my garage, I would have put all 20 f*cking rounds of 9mm right through the windshield and into your miserable body. The glass peels the copper jacket off, but the lead keeps going. The bullet would actually take a slight downward trajectory. The copper commonly ends up on the dashboard. Guess how I know that fun little fact.

My XDM has a 19 round mag capacity, and I keep one in the chamber, too. 20 rounds of +P, just for some lucky guy.

I actually hope that if that had happened, that you would not have died immediately, and I could have stood there feeling little to no sympathy whatsover and watched you bleed out all over the shattered glass covered interior of the Mustang before I called the police. I'm fairly certain I could have illustrated how I felt my life was in danger. Plus, after talking to the cop (former Marine) who showed up, I felt he wasn't very sympathetic to car thieves.

It could have been a glorious day... Because I was in f*cking Kill Mode when I center stepped the fatal funnel and cleared the garage with a loaded pistol.

I give two sh*ts about the car, and my ultimate dream is to kill someone CONUS (Continental United States) since I'm only allowed to do it in shit hole third world countries. BTW, I'm pretty god d*mn good at it.

I was also in my truck 30 seconds later and hunting your sorry a$$ Baghdad Style, and had I caught you, I would've have PIT'd you, wrecked the car, and shot you in the stomach...

then watched you bleed out. It was pretty early, so the police wouldn't have shown up too quickly. What a story that would make. It would even be worth going to jail. F*ck it.

You almost gave 2015 one helluva start for me. Most fun I've had since Afghanistan.

Anyway... about done ranting. Should anyone have any info or knowledge, I know it's a long shot, but drop me a line. I promise I won't call the police. I have 11 team mates that help me solve problems and hide bodies if necessary.

Sincerely;

US Army Special Forces guy for 17 years. You have no idea how lucky you really are, mother f*cker."

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DISCUSSION (8)

FerrousJackal > MonkeePuzzle
01/09/2015 at 09:59

Yikes. Just yikes.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > MonkeePuzzle
01/09/2015 at 09:59

The thief has it coming.

haveacarortwoorthree > MonkeePuzzle
01/09/2015 at 10:00

I didn't steal this car. But I did just pee myself a little while reading that.

RazoE > MonkeePuzzle
01/09/2015 at 10:02

Yikes. I hate car thieves, but it looks like this dude's looking for any excuse to end someone's life.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > MonkeePuzzle
01/09/2015 at 10:06

Sounds like both the thief and the car owner both have a screw or two loose

Mattbob > MonkeePuzzle
01/09/2015 at 10:14

this guy is fucked up. I am all for being mad at someone who stole your car, and defending yourself by any means, but it sounds like he actually just wants an excuse to kill someone. Fuck this guy, I hope he never finds his car.

Rico > MonkeePuzzle
01/09/2015 at 10:18

Eh I'm with the car owner on this one. Don't steal people's stuff. This is why I own a dog, dog would've been barking his ass off.

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > MonkeePuzzle
01/09/2015 at 11:15

This guy ranks pretty far up the 'people I probably wouldn't have a beer with' list.