1984 Jaguar XJ-12 Sovereign: The Opposite Lock Review

"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5) 09/28/2014 at 20:52 • Filed to: Oppo Review

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1984 Jaguar XJ-12 Sovereign - 5.3L V12 - 3 Speed Automatic

When I introduced myself to you fine folks here at Oppo, I did so with a bunch about my Corvair and two sentences about my Jaguar. Still, this being Oppo and all, people were interested in the car and asked for a review. Who am I to argue with popular opinion?

( Full disclosure : Jaguar wanted me to own this car so badly that they had me look at it almost every day of my life from when I was 7 until two years ago when I was finally able to buy the damn thing. )

Oh, a small warning...this might get lengthy. I apologize in advance.

A little bit of background to myself and this car. I've always been a car guy, and more specifically, I've always been a Jaguar guy. My grandfather had Jags (S1 E-Type, Mk 2, XJ-12, XJ-6, XJS), my uncles had Jags (S1, 2, and 3 E-Types, countless XJ6s, a few more XJSs), so they're what I grew up with. They say that the music that means the most to you is the stuff you heard as a kid, and that's definitely true here...to me it's always been like this: there are cars, and then there are Jaguars.

Still, I had never owned one until this car. I would look at them every time I went to buy something, but I would never end up with one. I always figured I'd have one as a second car, but I never had a second car, so I went Jag-less.

This particular car was my grandfather's favorite Jag, even ahead of his beautiful silver '61 E-Type. You could never actually get the V12 in a SIII XJ sedan here in the States. Canada got the XJ12 Vanden Plas, so you see quite a few of those get imported, but you rarely see a Sovereign. This is actually a German market car, so it's left-hand-drive, the speedometer is in miles, and it has the highest output version of the V12...more on that below. The car came over from Germany in 1989, and my grandfather bought it in 1991.

Anyway, my grandfather was set to move on from it, but my uncle wanted to buy it. Well, he took delivery of it and stashed it at a garage he rented, but never actually paid my grandfather for it. It sat in that garage for seven years.

Around 2011, my uncle decided he wasn't going to rent that garage anymore and my grandfather had to get his two cars (the XJ12 and a very nice '83 XJS) out of there. With nowhere else to put them, he decided to sell them. Hearing this, I volunteered to store the XJ12 in my garage for him while he sold the XJS. So we went up there with a battery, the car fired right up after 7 years of sitting, and I drove it 30 miles to my house...it was the first time I had ever driven a Jaguar.

Of course, the whole time I was plotting to buy the XJ12, but I figured I could never afford it. But as Wayne Gretzky once said, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, so I decided to ask him.

I went to visit him while he was working on a new project, stuffing a 3.8L GM V-6 and 5 speed from a '95 Camaro into a late 70s MGB (he's 86 at this point, mind you). I helped him with a few things, and asked him what he would sell me the XJ12 for.

"For you? $2000." I literally couldn't believe what I had heard. I hastily agreed, he said I could pay him over time, and that was that. The Jaguar was mine.

A few months later, my grandfather had become ill. He had beaten cancer previously, but it came back hard, and he passed away in October of 2012. I never finished paying him for the car (came up $500 short), but he didn't care, he was happy I had it.

Part of our deal was that the car never leave the family, and it never will.

Anyway, on to the review!

Exterior: 9/10.

I mean look at it. I hardly feel the need to even write anything else, but I guess I will.

The Jaguar XJ is about as elegant a sedan as has ever existed. This particular one, in black with a non-original-but-still-attractive gold pin stripe, is to my eye the nicest looking one I've ever seen. It's long, it's low, it's a very sleek design. The SIII cars were saddled with those big bumpers, but Jaguar made it work just fine.

This one wears the "pepperpot" wheels, and has the euro-spec large headlights. You'll also notice there's no 'leaper' hood ornament on this car. Contrary to popular belief, those were actually a dealer installed option, albeit a very popular one. I quite like the look without it.

Interior: 8/10.

I wanted to give the interior a 10/10 just for the smell. Honestly, I wish I could share the smell of the inside of this car with you guys. It's just this particular old British leather and wood smell, and it's absolutely fantastic.

The seats are covered in Connolly leather, the carpets are thick and luxurious. Even the headliner is plush and expensive feeling. But we're talking about a 30 year old Jaguar here, so the lighting on the gauges is dim, the fuel gauge doesn't work, and neither does the A/C. But considering we're talking about Lucas electronics here, it's astounding that as much works as it does.

That said, it looks fantastic, it's stupid comfortable, and that Nardi wood steering wheel feels great. Also, my grandfather hand-made the shift handle to match the wheel, so that's awesome.

Acceleration: 7/10.

The talking point here is that big 5.3 liter SOHC V12. Being a German-market car, this one makes 299hp and 318 ft lbs of torque by virtue of it's 12.5:1 compression ratio. And it's a pretty astounding engine.

We all joke a lot about the Jag V12 being one of the most unreliable engines there is, and really, I'm not here to argue about it. But if you drive one that works right, like this one, there's nothing like it. Around town, it's dead silent, and you can't even feel it running. If you get on it, it's still never loud, but holy hell does it pull above 60mph. It just seems like the faster you go, the harder it wants to pull. 120mph isn't a struggle for the Jag, it's a cruise.

Braking: 6/10.

Inboard rear brakes. Ugh. Jaguar had a lot of good ideas, but totally forgot that they were British Leyland and it was the 1980s. Its really like their engineers just outright hated their mechanics. That said, the system works very nicely. But even with four wheel discs, the Jag is a big heavy car, so stopping isn't the thing it does best. Like everything else, the Jag approaches stops with grace and dignity, but please don't ask it to hurry.

Ride: 8/10.

Honestly, it actually doesn't ride as soft as you'd think. It's firm, and you really feel the big bumps. I'm told a lot of the problem there is the tires: ancient Pirelli P5s. Fun fact, the tires on this car are about 14 years old, and when I told a guy on a Jaguar forum that, he said he would swap them for something else even if they were brand new.

But the Jag is by a large margin the quietest car I've ever driven. Ever driven a Lexus LS460? The Jaguar makes the Lexus sound like a fox-platform Mustang inside. I have no idea how it happened in the first place, and I really don't know how it's still like that 30 years later, but it's the most silent, serene place on earth.

Handling: 5/10.

This was something of a sports sedan back in the day, which I guess says just how far we've come since 1984. The steering is vague off center, the assist is heavy, and you really don't get much communication from the front end at all. That's not to say it handles badly, it grips nicely, corners pretty flat, and extremely stable. But because of the lack of communication, you don't really want to push this car. It's a cruiser.

Transmission: 6/10.

It's a GM TH-400, so a three speed automatic. This is before Jaguar did J-gates, so the shifter is straight forward. You can shift it manually, but why the hell bother? It's overbuilt for this, so this is likely the only part of the car I'll never have to work on.

Toys: 4/10.

There aren't many. Oh, there's a moonroof that works great. Power windows and locks, telescoping steering column. It's got air conditioning, but it doesn't work, and apparently never has. And a stuffed jaguar, named George after my grandfather.

Audio: 4/10.

Yeah, the radio is unfortunate. It's an old Blaupunkt with four 30 year old speakers, what do you expect? But when you're driving the Jaguar, are you really going to listen to Van Halen? Of course not. It's fine as long as you keep it civilized.

Value: 10/10.

Well, I mean I told you what I paid for it. This is a veritable shit ton of car for $1500. I gather that they usually sell for $6-10k on the open market in this condition, and at that price, you really need to be in love with the car for it to be worth it. It uses premium gas, gets about 15mpg combined (21 highway), and again...it's a 30 year old British car. It's not something that should be your every day car. But man, for a weekend trip to Newport with the wife, I'm not sure there's anything better.

If you have any questions about the car, feel free to ask in the comments. Thanks for reading.

Total: 67/100.

Engine: 5.3L V-12.

Horsepower: 299.

Torques: 318.

0-60: 8.1s.

Top speed: 150mph.

Seating: 5.

MSRP: $26,000 (1984, $59,520 adjusted).

jkm7680 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 09/28/2014 at 20:55

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Do you know anybody called Lucas? How is Lucas doing besides the breakages?

In all seriousness, it looks awesome and I want it.

Conan > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 09/28/2014 at 20:56

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X350s still keep wooing me. Maybe someday. Glad this is owned by somebody who takes care of it.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > jkm7680 09/28/2014 at 20:56

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I work with a kid named Lucasz, he's somewhat more reliable, haha.

jkm7680 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 09/28/2014 at 20:57

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Hahaha, The car looks awesome though!

My citroen won't start > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 09/28/2014 at 20:57

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You sir, have one of the coolest cars on the face of this earth, a XJ12 sovereign + Nardi.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > jkm7680 09/28/2014 at 20:57

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Thanks! It helps to start with a really, really, ridiculously nice one. Makes upkeep a little easier.

jkm7680 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 09/28/2014 at 20:59

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I'd imagine! Usually when I see similar cars for sale, they've got a billion miles and the seller claims that there aren't any problems. Which is BS 99% of the time except for the thing about mileage.

banjo cat ghost of oppo past > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 09/28/2014 at 20:59

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That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > My citroen won't start 09/28/2014 at 21:00

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The wheel makes the interior. I've got the original two-spoke leather wheel, and I'm fine with just hanging it on the wall. My grandfather said I'd probably need to swap it for the hard core Jaguar shows, but screw that noise. Nardi forever.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > jkm7680 09/28/2014 at 21:02

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Oh yeah. The problem with these is usually second owners...the original owner took care of it, but the second owners treated them like a used car. It's really not an inherently unreliable car, but it does require more care than a Camry, and many of them were neglected because of that.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > banjo cat ghost of oppo past 09/28/2014 at 21:02

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Excellent.

jkm7680 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 09/28/2014 at 21:04

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Yup, that's the thing about cars that can be regarded as "Status symbols" if you will.

If somebody who doesn't know jack shit about cars, and had a 2004 Camry as their last car decides that they want to roll in a more prestigious car and buys a Jag and expects it to be the exact same level of maintenance. They will be surprised, but not exactly in a good way. Then that person will try to sell it cheap, and lie about pretty much everything that's possible to lie about.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > jkm7680 09/28/2014 at 21:07

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Nail on the head, bro. I mean I like wrenching on the thing, and I still wouldn't want to try to use it every day. It sucks, but I guess it's a good thing for the values of the nice ones.

jkm7680 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 09/28/2014 at 21:09

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Agreed! I'd love to have a Jag just like that one, but I'd always have to keep something else within the stable for when it's naughty and misbehaves.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Conan 09/28/2014 at 21:16

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X350s are fantastic. All the style of a series III with modern convenience. I'd love an X350 XJR.

Axial > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 09/28/2014 at 21:18

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So much glorious glass!

aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 09/28/2014 at 21:28

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exterior would be an 11/10 if it was green :p

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe 09/28/2014 at 21:35

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I can't even disagree. British Racing Green makes everything better.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Axial 09/28/2014 at 22:04

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Small pillars make everything better. Safety? Eh, who needs it.

Jobjoris > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 09/29/2014 at 07:11

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I'm not sure what else to expect in an 80's euro-spec 'premium' car like this other than a Blaupunkt. It's authentic. Unlike that exhaust, would expect those pipes to create something more than the quietest car you've ever driven ;-)

Great car, awesome review and epic family-story, thanks!!!

Ian McDowell > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 04/15/2015 at 14:55

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Errhm, idk. Replace the steering rack bushings? I have a '88 XJS and I couldn't disagree more about connection to the road. It is a bit wallowy because of the old suspension, but my rack has new pushing and I can feel every millimeter the tires move. It is as connected as you can get. The original rubber bushings weren't very good, and they definitely aren't now.

Replace the bushings and tires and you will be amazed. Honestly, those tires probably have tread on them, but they are drier than hell. Not exactly comfortable or safe.
I put Falken ziex 912s on my XJS for 80 bucks a pop. If you want a more stock look, grab some pirellis or michelins.

Ian McDowell > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 04/15/2015 at 14:55

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I've been driving an XJS daily for 5 years, and I am a student with little time or money. Go for it.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Ian McDowell 04/15/2015 at 17:38

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Good to know. Mine spent a good long time sitting, so while everything LOOKS fine, a freshening in that area would probably be a good thing.

I remember an episode of Top Gear where James drove a reconditioned XJS with new urethane bushings and some other little tweaks, and it made the car world's better.

My difficulty will be finding a tire in the size I want with a sidewall that doesn't have all sorts of crazy shit on it, cause there's a LOT of sidewall. Whoever has the plainest, more t similar sidewall to my P5s wins.

Ian McDowell > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 04/16/2015 at 20:37

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The XJ is definitely meant to be bigger and cushier, so I think staying with the factory specs would work. I personally bumped down from 70 to 60 on the ratio because I thought the stock P5 tires looked like monster truck tires on my XJS. I like my falken ziex912 (now 612s) in 225/60r15, but you may think they look too busy up close.

For stock you either want 215/70r15 or 235/60r15
The pepperpots are 15" right?

I know what you mean about newer tires having designs and crap on them especially with a big sidewall like that. You can get them that look exactly like p5s, but they are unfortunately nearly $500 a piece from coker.

I think you best bet will be BFgoodrich or General. The plain looking general is just the grabber HTS, but BFgoodrich has Touring, Advantage, and Radial. The radials look like older style, but that also means they won't do quite as well due to the old tread pattern.
Anything with white letter can simply be flipped around so the black side faces. I think the touring and the grabber HTS are both under 100 each.

(yeah it looks a little doofy that it says "outside")

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Ian McDowell 04/16/2015 at 21:11

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The sidewall on your tires are actually not a bad look for that at all. It's a pretty clean design, not too busy like lots of tires now. I've got Goodyear Eagle Sports on my DD, and that's a good looking tire as well...might not be a bad option for the Jag.

The pepperpots are 15s, yeah. I like the sidewall ratio I've got on there now, so I'll probably stick with that size...I like a big sidewall on an XJ, always have. I'll probably go with the BF Goodrich, maybe a Radial T/A or something like that. They're usually pretty generous with the rubber, so I think they'd be my best shot at getting the same basic look I've got right now.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Ian McDowell 04/16/2015 at 21:13

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Also, your XJS looks fantastic. I wish my car was green, that's probably the only thing I'd change about it.

Ian McDowell > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 04/17/2015 at 10:23

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Thanks, probably one of my favorite things about the car. It doesn't look quite that nice at the moment though, that picture is old. 5 years driving daily in the Florida sun has oddly wreaked havoc on only my trunk lid, which I am going to buff out after I get a garage. And an idiot at the mall put a pretty cringe-worthy dent in the back that couldn't completely be paid for, so it will also be there until I have the time to try and pull it.

Best $1,000 I ever spent.

Ian McDowell > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 04/17/2015 at 10:25

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Yeah I agree on the beefier sidewalls for the XJ, I think the ride would change more than you think. That is a long time for tires to be around. I've always enjoyed the feeling of the car immediately after changing tires, when the difference is most apparent.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 02/22/2016 at 20:52

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Fantastic car. I’m very jealous.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 02/22/2016 at 21:45

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Great steering wheel.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Ian McDowell 02/22/2016 at 21:48

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I miss 70-series tires. You get the ride quality as well as a wider patch. As for tires, what about the Michelin X-Radial from Costco? Also, Walmart is now selling a Goodyear tire, the Viva-3. The Viva’s are about 25% less than the X-Radials.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 02/22/2016 at 22:41

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It was a pretty good car...I sold it a few months ago when I found out the wife was having a baby. Went to a better place, and a wound up with its automotive opposite: a fox body Mustang.