The 10 Least Terrible Cadillac DeVilles You Can Buy Right Now

"Andrew T. Maness" (theroadlessdriven) 09/20/2014 at 11:45 • Filed to: Car Buying, Ebay, Auto Trader, Show Us, 10 Best, TRLD, Cadillac, Big News, De Ville, America, GM

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The big news in the automotive world this morning is that Cadillac will once again build a land yacht starting in 2015. I for one am very excited about this because while I don't think the XTS is a bad car, it doesn't hold up when pitted against the A8/S-Class/7-Series.

But what if you don't want to wait for Cadillac's modern interpretation of a living room on wheels? What if you miss the good 'ol days when Cadillac was simply raiding the spare parts bin at GM and adding some chrome here and a sofa there.

Well then man, have I got a list for you.

Revel in the glory of the fake wood on the dash! Fall to your knees in praise of those wire wheel covers! Worship at the temple of John F. Jack Jr.!

While you're looking at these, keep in mind what the rest of the world was building at the time, pretty fucking depressing. I don't know how GM made it through all those years building cars like these. Oh wait, that's right, they didn't they went bankrupt and we bailed them out.

These are the 10 Best Cadillac DeVilles you can buy right now!

1.) One owner, green, wires, whitewalls, what more do you want?

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2.) Another one owner vehicle. Grey on grey, '92 "We really don't know where to go with this" styling, California car.

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3.) Black with gold/whitewall wheel package, Bose CD AND cassette player, may include some G-Unit mixtapes.

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4.) 1990 DeVille Coupe! The wire wheel covers, the vinyl top, the red interior, this thing has it all! Let's do some blow and throw change at homeless people!

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5.) Ah shit, the party's over, Desert Storm, George Bush, grunge music. Throw a CB radio in the car, we'll get our jollies messing with truckers because that never ends badly.

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6.) Fuck that! Party is back on people! My uncle left town for the weekend and I've got his '78 pussy magnet. Sure it'll only attract twice divorced Tri-State area moms with a pack a day habit but who cares, that's why god invented condoms!

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7.) I have no jokes about this 2005 DeVille. It's a one owner Florida car that would make for pretty solid transportation...to church, the golf course or mortuary.

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8.) Seller's note "Power antenna doesn't raise but radio works fine". Sure buddy, just keep telling yourself that, I'm sure your wife doesn't listen to other stations...

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9.) Color matched velour interior, nuff said.

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10.) Here's your reward for trucking through the first 9 listings. 1965 DeVille sedan with 25,000 mi. Thing was a barn find, apparently no rust, original paint, even has the original floor mats. I would actually buy this if I had a garage to keep it in, hope this car finds a good home.

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Andrew Maness writes about cars because he has one and also has a computer. He's been known to drunkenly Tweet as !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! and upload photos to !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . He also has a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! and thinks talking about himself in the 3rd person is really weird but knows it's necessary if he wants to be taken seriously as an Oppo contributor.

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Milky > Andrew T. Maness 09/19/2014 at 13:22

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FIFY

(actually that '65 is dope, but thats it)

blacktruck18 > Andrew T. Maness 09/19/2014 at 13:32

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I'll take the '78 and Henry Hill it up.

Your boy, BJR > Andrew T. Maness 09/19/2014 at 13:33

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……I'll be in my bunk.

Masturbating.

Andrew T. Maness > Milky 09/19/2014 at 14:05

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Exactly. Fuck I might actually change the title when i repost for the evening crowd.

AutoSavant > Andrew T. Maness 09/19/2014 at 14:08

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My good friend just moved back to the states from England. He needed a car to get to work. He only had 2k to work with, so our choices were limited. At first, we were looking at the usual Corolla/Civic/Sentra 4 door eco car. But for that kind of money, you get a pretty miserable car. He decided he wanted a big American car. We browsed craigslist until we found a nice black '96 Deville. 2 grand later, and he was rocking this huge car that gets nearly 30mpg on the highway and rides like a living room placed on a waterbed with wheels. I've only had to fix a brake line and replace a shift solenoid pack since he bought it 10,000 miles ago.

Andrew T. Maness > AutoSavant 09/19/2014 at 14:30

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That right there is a huge win.

As the years go on and many of these unloved American cars get lower and lower in price, the argument for the "couple grand econobox" will become more invalid than it already is.

Alex from Toronto > Milky 09/19/2014 at 16:38

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The 91 is pretty nice.

Milky > Alex from Toronto 09/19/2014 at 18:07

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That car and this car don't even look like they are from the same era, let alone year.

Alex from Toronto > Milky 09/19/2014 at 18:11

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Well to be fair in the 90s Toyota knew how to make a good car,Cadillac not so much.

ranwhenparked > Andrew T. Maness 09/19/2014 at 18:21

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Pass, but show me a nice Fleetwood and you've got my attention. The last Devilles were always a little too small and too FWD for my tastes.

FJ80WaitinForaLSV8 > Andrew T. Maness 09/20/2014 at 12:28

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God do I want a Cadillac boat so bad. Get one with 7.0 L engine, rip the emissions crap off, slap a blower on top, and perforate the hood - pure profit.

Andrew T. Maness > FJ80WaitinForaLSV8 09/20/2014 at 12:39

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That sounds like such a fun project. I've only driven new Cadillacs, would love to pilot one of the 70's landyachts just to feel the huge engine pull the thing down the road.

FJ80WaitinForaLSV8 > Andrew T. Maness 09/20/2014 at 12:42

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Can't say I came up with this idea myself -

Andrew T. Maness > FJ80WaitinForaLSV8 09/20/2014 at 12:46

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Ah yeah, I remember that episode, car is wild. Looks like something "Big Ern" McCracken would drive.

rb1971 ARGQF+CayenneTurbo+E9+328GTS+R90S > Andrew T. Maness 09/20/2014 at 12:57

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It's a damn good thing I don't have space for that 1965'er because I'd be shopping for plane tickets. And pals for one phenomenally epic road trip.

If anyone from Europe is reading this and wants to see America like God intended, you should fly to Beantown and buy this car, then drive it to CA.

Andrew T. Maness > rb1971 ARGQF+CayenneTurbo+E9+328GTS+R90S 09/20/2014 at 13:05

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If it's still for sale once I finish building my S4 out, I'll probably buy it and do the drive.

Ltd783 > Andrew T. Maness 09/20/2014 at 14:23

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Not to be "that guy", but #5 isn't a Deville, the seller mislisted it. Though it's the same basic bodystyle as earlier Devilles, since 1985 the Deville was the FWD only model. These larger RWD models were all just called Broughams through 1992.

For 1993 the redesigned model was renamed the "Fleetwood Brougham", not to be confused with the smaller FWD Deville based "Fleetwood". Cadillac did really try to make their names as confusing as possible it seems.

Steve in Manhattan > Andrew T. Maness 09/20/2014 at 20:44

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When I took the MD bar in 1997 (everybody takes it then waives into DC) I reserved a Taurus at Enterprise for the drive from DC to Prince Georges County. I always reserved a Taurus at Enterprise. Boring, but the size was perfect (withness my later purchase of an SHO) and it was less worse than other choices on offer.

The day before the 2-day test began I went to pick up the car. The attendant, who had dealt with me many times before, said there were no Tauri. I said what else have you got? He said one of those little Chevy vans, the commercial version. I said nothing doing. He told me they had a Jag XJ, but he couldn't do that. I rejected a few more lesser vehicles, then he said: "I have something that I think will please you."

The garage door opened. It was a Sedan deVille. Very similar to the #1 car in this post. It was immense. I felt like Morrie Seinfeld.

I found a space large enough for it on, I believe, N Street. The next morning, I drove 45 minutes to the bar exam site. My friends from law school roundly mocked me, but they were all interested in piling in to go to lunch. All six of them. All in all it was a fun rental.

And yes, I passed. First try.

Andrew T. Maness > Ltd783 09/21/2014 at 18:22

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thanks for keeping me honest! that is confusing a fuck though.

Andrew T. Maness > Steve in Manhattan 09/21/2014 at 18:24

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that is a killer story!

tell me more about the SHO

Steve in Manhattan > Andrew T. Maness 09/21/2014 at 18:32

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'97, silver, cloth interior, the (unfortunate) chrome wheels, went 100K with no problems at all. Except the CD changer, but that was JBL's fault, not Ford's.

Jedidiah > Milky 09/21/2014 at 20:45

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You're right. The Cadillac looks better.

Andrew T. Maness > Steve in Manhattan 09/21/2014 at 21:28

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So bitchin. I have a major soft spot for the SHO, my parents had a Taurus wagon and my dad always wanted to do a swap, then my youngest sister was born and they got a minivan.

Steve in Manhattan > Andrew T. Maness 09/21/2014 at 21:45

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I got so angry that the Mustang V8 5-speed could not accomodate me (could not get the seat far away enough from the clutch) that I was ready to take anything. They had an SHO w/ about 600 miles on it, demonstrator, and I drove it and thought, OK, not bad. I remember signing the papers and thinking: "I will regret this purchase."

Put as near as makes no difference 100K on it, trips along the Eastern Seaboard, down to the Keys, up to Maine, over to the Midwest, and all the way to Arkansas. It never broke. The only on-the-road repair was a new windshield when some yuckapuck in eastern Arkansas launched a baseball-sized rock at my windshield. Imagine that - there's no regulation requiring mudflaps in Arkansas! Cost me $500 deductible. Most reliable car I've ever owned.

Andrew T. Maness > Steve in Manhattan 09/21/2014 at 22:13

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They had an SHO w/ about 600 miles on it, demonstrator, and I drove it and thought, OK, not bad. I remember signing the papers and thinking: "I will regret this purchase."

That might be one of the most Jalop things I've ever read.

How did the relationship end? Too bad you don't have it anymore, would be a great Oppo review piece.

Steve in Manhattan > Andrew T. Maness 09/21/2014 at 22:22

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Had worked as a lawyer in DC, then got a great job in Manhattan. Had been here enough to know I wouldn't use the car very much, and to garage it inside (the only way I would have done it) would have been $450 a month at minimum. Reluctantly sold it to CarMax in September 2001 for 8 grand. Hope it got a good home.

Milky > Jedidiah 09/22/2014 at 09:23

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I'll just let the fact that you have a car from (roughly) 1970 as your avatar speak for itself.