10 best cars for doing the nasty

"MojoMotors.com" (MojoMotors) 09/19/2014 at 12:10 • Filed to: sex, getting it on, top 10 list

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Car sex isn't just for teenagers with no lock on their bedroom door. When you can't get privacy at home, don't have money for a motel room or simply can't wait until you get home to bone, your car may be the only option. Everyone has done the dirty in their car at some point or another. Right?

It can be exciting, but it can also be a bit challenging depending on your vehicle. Since we love providing shoppers with invaluable car buying advice, we put together a list of the 10 best cars to do it in. So turn off the motor, set the radio low, hop in the back seat and get to it.

#10 Nissan Cube

Pros: Fold flat seats, headroom (or legroom depending on the position)

Cons: Impossible to get laid if you own one

The Nissan Cube is a sexual conundrum. The car is, as its name suggests, a box on wheels, thus offering plenty of cubic feet for deed-doing. Thanks to seats that are practically made to fold into a bed and ample head room, a host of sexual positions are possible that you just couldn't pull off in a normal car. But herein lies the problem. Even Sean Connery would have trouble getting laid while driving a Nissan Cube, so no one has ever been able to report on this first hand. Lucky for you, we have (overly) active imaginations.

#9 Volkswagen Jetta GT

Pros: Manual windows, rear speaker deck

Cons: Small back seat

Although there's nothing sexy about the 3rd generation Jetta's styling, it actually makes a pretty good place to bang for several reasons. First, the rear speaker deck is a great place to fold and place your clothes (can't get your shirt wrinkled!) Second, it has rear grab handles which can be used to hold yourself at "that perfect angle" for an extended period of time, or for the rest of us, a few second. Third, the GT model has crank windows which can be easily rolled down for a little fresh air without turning on the engine and ruining the mood. It isn't the most spacious back seat, but there are plenty of reasons to do it in this little German sedan. If you need a few more reasons, keep in mind that Heidi Klum and Claudia Schiffer are both German.

#8 Pickup Trucks

Pros: Big box, off-road capabilities, punny name

Cons: Out in the open

All real truck drivers know that an open box, or "bed" makes for an excellent place to make love under a starry sky. If your lover has discerning taste, make sure the box is clean and remember to bring a blanket. Although the bed allows for plenty of room for activities, it offers little in the way of privacy. Luckily the pickup truck has the power and capability to reach that special spot that smaller cars just aren't able to get to.

#7 Ford Crown Victoria

Pros: Plush bench seats, cop fantasies

Cons: Cloth seats stain easily

As far as full size sedans go, the Ford Crown Victoria is one of the best to show your partner what you're working with. The interior is spacious and cushy. it doesn't have a bunch of bells and whistles in it that can get in the way, like a center console for example. The interior in the Crown Vic is essentially two rows of couches, and you know what they call a couch that fits two people? A love seat. If that's not an indicator that this car was made to be boom town, population 2 (or more), than what is? Most Crown Vics were sold with pleather interior making clean up easy if their happens to be any messes. Best of all, you'll essentially be making love in the back of a cop car, which is pretty sweet especially if you have a fetish for authority figures.

#6 Ford E-150 Conversion Van

Pros: Real bed, curtains, TV/VCR.

Cons: Requires traveling family band

Okay, this one is obvious, but there is no way we couldn't include the family conversion van. There's a bed, curtains, and a VCR. It is quite literally a motel room on wheels, and better in many ways because it is yours. The best part is you can walk straight from the front seats of the car to the back, so there's no need to leave the car. And if your copulation results in conception, stay positive. Provided that you don't have octuplets, you will have plenty of room for the new addition(s) to the family.

#5 Audi A8

Pros: Heated massaging seats, Rear climate/radio control, tilt-away steering wheel

Cons: Hand stitched leather, rear seat center console

Everyone's definition of success is different, but I think we can confidently say if you're getting laid in the back of an Audi A8 you've made it. With features liked heated/massaging seats, trillion-zone climate control, rear climate and radio controls and even an optional refrigerator for a cold beverage (drive responsibly) there's no lack of amenities in this love machine. The best feature of all might be the auto-tilt away steering wheel for when you just don't have time to make it to the back seat. Thing is, you might not even want to take the party to the back seat with that massive second row center console getting in the way. Wherever the magic ends up happening, make sure not to damage that beautiful hand stitched leather!

#4 Volvo Wagon

Pros: Seats that fold flat, spacious interior, gas mileage

Cons: Large windows, no tint

Practical, reliable, economical. These might be some of the words you think of when you hear Volvo Wagon. Maybe you should add "sexual" to that list, because it turns out that this classic whip is a great place to get down. The seats fold completely flat, turning the back into a temporary love shack. The wagon's hatch is also perfect for rear-entry. The only drawback is the large windows that make the car into a fish bowl, so you either have to get some tinted windows or find a secluded spot. Unless you're into that kind of thing. Then hell, come park it in front of our office in midtown Manhattan.

#3 Honda Odyssey

Pros: Copious amounts space, allusion to Greek Gods

Cons: It's a minivan

If you're doing it in a Honda Odyssey, it is probably because you have kids and can't get privacy at home. But hey, it could be worse. The benefits of the Honda Odyssey are fold-flat seats and a versatile interior. Parents can really get adventurous and use their imaginations. Choose to only fold down the front seats and use the third row as a couch, or fold up the center console in the second row and get creative with those super adjustable pilot seats. More importantly, the name "Odyssey" evokes the sinewy, oiled up sex fest that is Greek Mythology. That Odysseus sure did have a long, hard journey if you know what I mean...

#2 Jeep Wrangler

Pros: Durable interior, off road capability

Cons: Canvas top gets drafty

Sex can be messy, particularly if it is really good sex or really bad sex. The nastiness of the nasty can be exacerbated when you're doing it in the enclosed space of a car. Luckily, the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! interior is designed to be durable enough to handle the abuse of topless driving, which means it can also handle any natural elements that manifest during the act without permanent damage. The Wrangler also has the off road capability to take you to a private and secluded location. Once you're off the beaten track, get that top down and poke your head out. You'll find that the roll bars offer more than enough support.

#1 Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet SUV

Pros: Convertible top

Cons: Backseat accessibility

The Murano CrossCabriolet-Creature has been discontinued for the 2015 model year and we wonder if it was premature. Pop the top on this unusual cabriolet and you suddenly have more ways to do it than your average bedroom. Of course, like any convertible, the Murano Cross Cabriolet falls into the category of cars that you're having sex ON rather than IN, but that also depends on the position. Sadly, all of the Murano CrossCabriolets were purchased by senior citizens in Florida, so we'll have to wait a few years before we get first hand accounts. In the meantime, all we have is our imagination and your comments. So, what did we miss?

And now, gifs of senior citizens in tuned up Cavaliers!

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Mojo Motors is a website where shoppers Follow cars to get alerts when dealers drop prices.

Leadbull > MojoMotors.com 09/19/2014 at 12:14

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No, no, the minivan comes afterwards.

MojoMotors.com > Leadbull 09/19/2014 at 12:15

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Fair enough, but you know, some people are into the minivan thing.

MK6GTI-now with added Miata > MojoMotors.com 09/19/2014 at 12:21

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Does Audi market that little jump seat as being exclusively for executive blowjobs? Because that's the only purpose I can see for it.

Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish > MojoMotors.com 09/19/2014 at 12:23

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Cars not to have sex in:

1) Ford Focus ZX3

2) Kia Soul

3) 3rd Gen Honda Prelude

Feel free to add to the list, there are plenty of awful places we've done it (or tried to).

EL_ULY > MojoMotors.com 09/19/2014 at 12:27

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Any car!

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > MojoMotors.com 09/19/2014 at 12:30

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Guy I used to work with had a 71 Mach 1. The back seat was cramped as hell, but Hus girl loved hanging on the roll cage he had installed. He says it was the best thing he ever did to his car.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > MojoMotors.com 09/19/2014 at 12:31

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Really? No Yukon Denali XL? The thing is as big as your master suite. You could have a full-blown orgy in one of these, and the car itself is nice enough (regardless of the vintage) that your partner, or partners, or the random group of honey people you found on the internet won't be embarrassed to be caught doing it in the car (I'm looking at you, Cube, Murano, and any mini van ever). The best part? You can fuck in this car WHILE someone else is driving without them seeing your gross ass thrusting back and forth. How? Get the dual bench seat option and the first row on bench seats acts as a partition to shield innocent eyes from the dirty deeds happening in the third row. How do I know this? Don't ask. But wait! There's more! When you and your partner aren't being chauffeured around in a sex box, you can fold all of the seats down. ALL OF THEM. Look at this. Tell me there isn't enough room for an orgy.

Pros: Sex, comfort, style, everything else.

Cons: Nothing... except for low fuel economy

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 09/19/2014 at 12:32

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1991 civc hatchback. well I'm sure you could if the back was cleaned wout, but I always had to much crap back there.

You can however have sex on the hood of a fourth gen civic. That is lots of fun.

MojoMotors.com > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 09/19/2014 at 12:35

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Well said, sir. Sounds like you're speaking from experience.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > MojoMotors.com 09/19/2014 at 12:35

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It's funny you mention Cavaliers. The only time I've ever actually had sex inside a car, was in my wife's 01 Caviler. did get a bj in my 91 Civic tho. It's a toss up on which was more fun.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > MojoMotors.com 09/19/2014 at 12:44

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Experience indeed. My second car was a 2001 when I was 17/18. It looked exactly like this one. Oh, the memories.

MojoMotors.com > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 09/19/2014 at 12:49

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Thank you for not ruining your headlights on that beauty.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > MojoMotors.com 09/19/2014 at 12:54

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Buick LeSabre says: U WOT M8?

Huge rear bench seat.

Front bench seat

Comfy soft suspension that rocks back and forth to assist you

The windows work when the car is off

Rear 6x9" speakers vibrate the rear seat in delicious ways

Leather interior wipes off easily

Unassuming looks mean you won't be bothered

Hell, the trunk is big enough for fun times as well if you feel like being alternative.

I think I've made my point. Ladies~~~

Also I win because I had someone want to rent my car for sex at prom after seeing how soft the suspension was.

MojoMotors.com > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 09/19/2014 at 13:04

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That dash is glorious.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > MojoMotors.com 09/19/2014 at 13:04

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My pleasure. Ahaha. I was far too concerned with putting gas in it to even think about making any real changes. The only thing I upgraded was the head unit. Everything else was bone stock.

MojoMotors.com > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 09/19/2014 at 13:05

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"Bone" stock. Good one. :)

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > MojoMotors.com 09/19/2014 at 13:08

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Ahahaha. Shit, I didn't even do that intentionally. Accidental puns are by far the best puns.

Samuel Jackson > MK6GTI-now with added Miata 09/19/2014 at 13:10

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False. ZJ's.

Tohru > MojoMotors.com 09/19/2014 at 13:27

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First hand experience:

'92 Caprice sedan.

Works well, but make sure the dead-end dirt road you park on is *actually* a dirt road and not someone's driveway.

1994 Ford Probe:

Pros: Flip down seat

Cons: Stupid stereo box in trunk gets in way.

(not mine pictured, mine was blue with a smaller stereo.)

MojoMotors.com > Tohru 09/19/2014 at 13:30

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Cloth seats in that Caprice could pose issues, but the confusion between a driveway versus a dirt road is probably the bigger issue.

Tohru > MojoMotors.com 09/19/2014 at 13:38

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Yeah. In my defense I was 17 and it was an unfamiliar area to me.

Matt Urban > MojoMotors.com 09/19/2014 at 13:44

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how about the early 90's Caravan where you future father in law removed the middle row to keep the amount of passengers down? Can you say shaggin wagon!!!

MojoMotors.com > Tohru 09/19/2014 at 14:02

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Unfamiliar areas* you mean?

Tohru > MojoMotors.com 09/19/2014 at 15:18

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Also accurate.

Steve in Manhattan > MojoMotors.com 09/21/2014 at 18:29

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First hand experience (both of us around six feet tall) - it was not easy.

J-Tenno > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 09/22/2014 at 10:35

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Nissan Almera.

Can be done, it's a bit tricky though. In the end it wasn't inside the car....

Your Mom is my Hell on Wheels > MojoMotors.com 09/22/2014 at 11:57

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You've all missed the point. Even Honda knows what the Fit is for.

"Refreshing" sex.

END OF STORY!

joey-taps > MojoMotors.com 09/22/2014 at 13:51

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BANGBUS

logirz > MojoMotors.com 09/22/2014 at 14:31

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I must also say that the Generation 3 Jetta also has fold flat seats which makes all the difference. I however preferred the Golf 3 in my highschool days.

VoOnTheGo > MojoMotors.com 09/22/2014 at 15:45

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I have a 2003 Volvo XC70 with HEAVILY tinted windows. I think the Mrs. and I might getting freaky in the garage tonight!

BJ > MojoMotors.com 10/01/2014 at 14:26

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In my experience:

Pickup trucks: bench seats + automatic transmission is a must.

Crown Victoria/Grand Marquis: trust me, you don't need to head to the back seat, there's plenty of room up front for many different activities.

BMW E30 sedan: just hold it until you get home, there's no room for extra-vehicular fun in there. And those sports tires won't get you un-stuck when you accidentally ditch it while backing in to a secluded parking spot.

Benjamin Ross > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/02/2014 at 10:20

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Smart car

Matthew Newberg > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/02/2014 at 11:02

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RX8, Miata, S2000, BRZ, BMW Z3

C_W_from_Detroit > MojoMotors.com 10/02/2014 at 11:26

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I am 6'2", my girl at the time was 5'10".

Front seat of her Geo metro. Granted, I was not so much "in" the car as naked ass hanging out the open passenger door.

Does it still count if only half of the activity personnel are actually "in" the vehicle?

sadfasdf > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/02/2014 at 12:06

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280Z (2 seater). Didn't go so well.

Tapas > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/02/2014 at 12:24

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F-Type, 911, Alpha 4C, Cayman/Boxster, Most cars I want to buy right now

Pro: Get chicks (right!? thats why we all get fast cars!)

Con: You dont have room for anything but two warm bodies in a sitting position.

taraj3 > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/02/2014 at 13:24

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Acura NSX. Yes, it's possible (we were both on the small side). No, I can't figure out what we were thinking.

James McRee > MojoMotors.com 10/02/2014 at 13:39

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The wagon's hatch is also perfect for rear-entry.

Sea Bear > MojoMotors.com 10/02/2014 at 15:32

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'88 Mazda 626 European 5 door touring Sedan. One of my first cars, the back seat folded down to form roughly a double bed, and he headrests had huge hols in them that my various girlfriends used like stirrups.

The fact that it completely hauled ass was just a bonus.

Good times, good memories.

Sea Bear > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/02/2014 at 15:33

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88.5 Porsche 944. I tried, but my back never recovered.

Corey > MojoMotors.com 10/02/2014 at 17:05

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Pickup truck all the way. After college, I dated this girl who lived on a farm. My F150 would go to any reach of the land. Bench seat and auto trans. We could get most any angle inside, and then there was the bed for when real room was required or just wanted to look up at the stars after. Was the perfect vehicle for the job.

Tapas > MojoMotors.com 10/02/2014 at 17:05

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Another good one for giggity on the go - Audi A7/S7/RS7

WesBarton89 - The Way to Santa Fe > MojoMotors.com 10/02/2014 at 18:12

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Ford Taurus Wagon

Not mine, but I had a near identical one, except it was white. Lots of room for gettin' down. Best thing about that car.

Also was able to manage gettin' it on in a late-model Chevy Aveo sedan. Very cramped, but not impossible.

Infiniti J30, also cramped, but doable. A little easier in a '92 Explorer, as well as a Mazda Millenia and a '98 Olds Cutlass.

2001 Cavalier Sedan... I've done it, but I don't encourage it. We broke the seat recline handle completely off by accident while leaning the seat all the way back. Took some serious work to get it back up. (the seat, that is)

I make it a point to break in every vehicle I drive. So far, I haven't broken in any minivans or pickup trucks. Pretty much every other kind of car, I have firsthand experience all-around, haha.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/02/2014 at 20:01

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MR2's are pretty rubbish, if you have a t-top you can sort of work something out from the passenger seat.

queball > MojoMotors.com 10/02/2014 at 20:50

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Oh yeah

Today, at the dealership getting my car it's oil change Call comes into the service desk, a customer had dropped off his car and his wife was going to come and pick it up later. He asked the service guy if they could go check the back seat and if they found a condom wrapper to please make sure to remove it before the car is picked up.

Not sure how the guy at the service desk kept himself together at that point. He did shut the door of the office right about then.

Strange Noises Alou > SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) 10/02/2014 at 21:54

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I suppose [persons of your preferred gender(s)] love a [person of your gender(s)] with a big SUV.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Strange Noises Alou 10/02/2014 at 21:59

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Well, not if they "care for the environment" or something silly like that. Otherwise it certainly doesn't hurt.

The best part? Her/his/their parents won't mind you driving their daughter/son/child around because they think big cars are safe...

If they only knew.

theedboogie > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 10/13/2014 at 16:02

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Ford Probe

Miles Teg > MojoMotors.com 10/13/2014 at 18:10

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I think the biggest con with a pickup is you'd be banging your sister.

Tyler > MojoMotors.com 10/22/2014 at 20:11

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Excuse me, you forgot the car with Magic Seats.

simpatica474 > MojoMotors.com 10/22/2014 at 23:14

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And this is why my daughter is not allowed to have my 240 wagon.

R.S.D. > MojoMotors.com 11/10/2014 at 15:53

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How about the Honda Element? Perfect for you and your three closest friends.

MojoMotors.com > R.S.D. 11/10/2014 at 15:56

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Maybe a little too close if you know what I mean, hyuck hyuck. But yes, the Element has many of the same advantages (and disadvantages) as the Cube. We figured we would just include 1 on our top 10 list.

R.S.D. > MojoMotors.com 11/10/2014 at 15:59

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Except you can actually get laid in the Element.