I'm suuuuper awake!!! OPPO game tiiime!!!!

Kinja'd!!! "EL_ULY" (uly)
09/14/2014 at 02:13 • Filed to: None

Kinja'd!!!1 Kinja'd!!! 59
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Theme: MANLY!!!!! Game: Build your ULTIMATE CROSSOVER!!!! You have $50K budget. Has to be a newish crossover (2007-2015) BUT mods are unlimited!!! ( explosion sounds )

You can add guns, engines, aero, suspension, gut it out and make a hover craft... sure!!! Has to "mostly" stay looking as close to the original car.

I choose a 2009 Kia Sorento.

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Goal within budget.... full blown street legal dragster with plenty of room for groceries in the back. This thing has a rear diff so...

The mods:

-Beast LS3 (cam, heads, and all that good stuff) swap

-rear mounted turbos

-tubbed rear with fat slicks and skinnys up front

-GraveDigger livery

Oh yes, that would put hair on your pubes! That's right, double hair!


DISCUSSION (59)


Kinja'd!!! PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 02:20

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ok, i'll go first!

This for $18K


Kinja'd!!! Rainbow > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 02:22

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I'll take a white Ford Flex with wood paneling, lower it on new moons with white walls, and maybe add a full-length sliding ragtop.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power
09/14/2014 at 02:23

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and theeeen? Upgraded turbos, wheel and tire package, suspension, full custom exhaust system, R18 E-Tron Livery! * flexes arms * yeeeeaaah!!!


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Rainbow
09/14/2014 at 02:25

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ohh baby! Now that would be sweeeet!


Kinja'd!!! If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 02:25

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Out goes the third row of seats. In goes a Hellcat.

...where the third row used to be.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/14/2014 at 02:26

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HELLLZ YEAH!!!! There you go! Instant hairy chest!!!


Kinja'd!!! jariten1781 > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 02:28

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I dun like crossovers so I'd just throw an x1 on coilovers and make it a wagon like this dude did.

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Kinja'd!!! If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 02:28

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Where the third row used to be, if I wasn't clear on that before.


Kinja'd!!! Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 02:29

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This:

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Kinja'd!!! mcseanerson > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/14/2014 at 02:31

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Is that a Journey or a Durango?


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > jariten1781
09/14/2014 at 02:31

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that's the point of the game, nobody does, that why we have to make the cool! Lowered X1 is pretty much a 3 series wagon. Although it looks very good, it's not manly like a Toyota Highlander.......with a Tundra V8 plus Nitrous!


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/14/2014 at 02:32

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yes sir, so rad!


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
09/14/2014 at 02:33

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HELLZ YEAH!!!!!!! Time to get the kids at school! *crushing everything!!!!*


Kinja'd!!! Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 02:33

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Its eleMENTAL


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s
09/14/2014 at 02:34

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Elementus Maximus!!!


Kinja'd!!! PatBateman > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 02:40

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2009 Buick Enclave CXL AWD. ADD:

-Supercharger

-Beefed up Transmission

-Computer reprogrammer

-Cold air intake

-Exhaust that I can hollow out from the cab.

DESTROY ALL THINGS.


Kinja'd!!! mcseanerson > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 02:42

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Because I like a challenge:

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2011 Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet - $22,990

It's basically a GTR with a CVT and no turbos so:

Add MT $5,000

Add turbos $10,000

and one of these in the trunk

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Kinja'd!!! If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > mcseanerson
09/14/2014 at 02:44

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Journey.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > mcseanerson
09/14/2014 at 02:49

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that would be bitchin! Only way to save this vehicle. Only way! Lol. Awesome answer


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > PatBateman
09/14/2014 at 02:50

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sleeper of all sleepers! Choas machine! Supercharger whine out of an Enclave, dayum


Kinja'd!!! PatBateman > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 02:51

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I've actually put serious consideration into doing this with a Lacrosse.


Kinja'd!!! mcseanerson > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 02:51

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Round 2:

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Nissan Juke awd cvt 1.6 turbo: $12k

Swap CVT for manual: $5k

Embiggen the turbos and strengthen the motor: $5k

Build up the drivetrain to ensure it can handle the power output: $10k

Long travel suspension: $5k

Rollcage: $5k

Plastidip paint job for the weekends: $1k

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Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > PatBateman
09/14/2014 at 02:52

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I honestly believe you lol


Kinja'd!!! mcseanerson > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent
09/14/2014 at 02:52

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I had to go to motortrend to look up all the crossovers currently available under 50k because I do not know this segment at all.


Kinja'd!!! mcseanerson > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 02:54

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I always appreciate the absurd.


Kinja'd!!! Conan > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 02:54

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But but no Neorion Chicago?

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Very well, I'd add all 3 motors from the 918 to a Macan, and I'd beef it up with Turbo stuff.

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Cargo room and rear seats aren't for MEN.

Then I'd give it all the aero (maybe intake eyes like the Hellcat) and make it look as 356 as possible.

Then I'd add this Turbonique Drag Axle. Legality? Pff.

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That would be a manly crossover.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > mcseanerson
09/14/2014 at 02:55

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Full blown rally beast withing budget! Soooooooo much win right here. Why do people pay $55 for a boring ass Mercedes E-350 when theu could hav brraappp paaapp paaa ppaaaapp! Vroooooom pssshh!


Kinja'd!!! PatBateman > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 02:55

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I'd have to put it on a diet (carbon fiber drive shafts, ultra light yet still close to stock-looking rims, replace some heavy parts with aluminum, etc), but I think it's more than doable.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Conan
09/14/2014 at 02:58

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I remove the $50k rule for this monster machine


Kinja'd!!! Conan > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 02:59

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Base Macan is 51,000. Turbo is cheaty though. Thanks! Picturing it makes my night. 918 power + 800-1000 from Turbonique.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > PatBateman
09/14/2014 at 03:00

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that would be one straight up evil street machine like the big hotrod Buicks of the 50's


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Conan
09/14/2014 at 03:01

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A true monster machine!


Kinja'd!!! PatBateman > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 03:02

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Yet so subdued. I could ride up to a kid in a Mustang and he'd laugh at me. Right up until the light turned green.


Kinja'd!!! CRider > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 03:04

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3D Tuning to the rescue


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > PatBateman
09/14/2014 at 03:04

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kid will literally shit his panties


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > CRider
09/14/2014 at 03:06

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lol yeeeeees!


Kinja'd!!! mcseanerson > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 03:08

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Round 3:

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Buick Encore: $20k

Rip out back seat and drop in LS7: $17k

Automatic Corvette transaxle: $5k

Sticky tires all around: $2k

Look on the V6 Mustang guy with a fart can at the light: Priceless.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > mcseanerson
09/14/2014 at 03:11

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a monster like that is beyond legendary! Why can't Buick just make this! Dang, that machine would just be hellish!


Kinja'd!!! CRider > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 03:12

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Lol Noooo! Now I've got a matte pink Ford GT with green tribal decals that would give $kay a heart attack. That site is damn addicting, and they keep adding new stuff.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > CRider
09/14/2014 at 03:13

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Lol right? I spent hours on it that one day it took over OPPO.


Kinja'd!!! Stökeometric > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 03:55

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I'll take an AMC Eagle (the original crossover) and...

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...convert it into a Hearse and drive off a cliff straight to my early grave because YOLO!!

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Kinja'd!!! Viggen9er3 > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 04:07

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2015 Toyota Highlander, modded up like the Jurassic Park Mercedes!


Kinja'd!!! Brian Silvestro > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 07:48

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$50k huh?

*buys Macan*


Kinja'd!!! jkm7680 > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 08:00

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Ok, Let's do this.

Audi Q5.

R8 Engine

6 Speed gated manual.

Supercharged.

HRE Wheels.


Kinja'd!!! wantafuncar > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 08:05

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Take a recent MDX:

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Add this engine (bisimoto 1000hp j series):

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WIN!

You have a "soccer mom" appearing Suv, with 1000hp....

Not sure if it could be done for 50k, but it would be pretty fun/hoonable.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Stökeometric
09/14/2014 at 11:45

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4x4 hearse... yes please!


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Viggen9er3
09/14/2014 at 11:46

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lol I'd drive it!


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Brian Silvestro
09/14/2014 at 11:47

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........ no


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > jkm7680
09/14/2014 at 11:49

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Classy man.... but manly indeed! I'd swap the HRE wheels for steelies and use that money for full race exhaust


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > wantafuncar
09/14/2014 at 11:50

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1000 hp 1st gen MDX?.... SLAY ALL THE BOYRACERS!


Kinja'd!!! jkm7680 > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 12:33

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Lol, Steelies to the rescue :)

I'd stick an R8 exhaust on it also, like an R8 SUV.


Kinja'd!!! PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 13:12

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kinja swallowed my mod list, but yeah basically that


Kinja'd!!! Brian Silvestro > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 13:24

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:'(

I'd buy E30Joe's car. He has a sick Forester.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Brian Silvestro
09/14/2014 at 13:34

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Mecan is just too close to line of soccer mom and young professional. Cover it in some type of Slayer livery, steelies, BFG Mud-Terrains, and full custom exhaust kit then yes, MANLYYY!


Kinja'd!!! Brian Silvestro > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 13:36

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But if I got the Macan, then my budget would be all used up!


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Brian Silvestro
09/14/2014 at 13:40

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well then..... used VW Tiguan......gut the rear section out..... insert 996 turbo 6 cylinder in the rear! Come on Brian, use your imagination. Oh I almost forgot... flame throwers!


Kinja'd!!! Brian Silvestro > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 13:45

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This SRT8 Jeep, Viper engine put in, Snake decals everywhere.


Kinja'd!!! EL_ULY > Brian Silvestro
09/14/2014 at 13:55

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that'll put hair on your pubes! Not quite a crosseover, but I'll allow it! *slams gavel*


Kinja'd!!! jkm7680 > EL_ULY
09/14/2014 at 16:01

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Oh, and if I steal the R8 then it doesn't go over the 50k budget :)