Google Bike - A non-official review

"burntartichoke" (burntartichoke) 09/12/2014 at 13:11 • Filed to: None

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A while ago Google released hordes of its employees on poor unsuspecting Mountain View, taking over the city on two bright colorful wheels.

( Full Disclosure: Google wanted me to test one of these so much two kind employees left a pair sitting outside the Computer History Museum in Mountain View, CA with the seats removed but nicely stowed in the basket a couple of nights ago.)

Exterior - 5/10

It is unique…until you look at the next one which is exactly the same. These harlequins of the cycling world certainly stand out. All the primary colors plus a few more for added for good measure! It is like disruptive camouflage or zebra stripes when they are in packs, you cannot easily discern one from another. If you can get past the obvious choice of "all the exterior colors" the styling closely follows the cruiser form with sweeping lines from the handle bars to the frame and the chain cover. The fenders curve around the tires nicely and have a minimal gap to give that reserved stance look without all that terrible negative camber. Exterior fit and finish is good and panel gaps are nonexistent. The front basket rounds out the cruiser look while adding pleasing visual weight above the front fender.

Interior - 3/10

I was thoroughly unimpressed with the saddle. While it is a large seat it offered nothing in the way of comfort. It was hard and not supportive, quite misconceiving at first glance. This one was missing handle bar grips but the metal was smooth and nice, with no burrs or other discomforts.

Acceleration - 2/10

It's no Ferrari but if you happen to be a professional cycler, in theory it could get to 10 MPH faster than a '90s econobox. I was unable to time it to 60 though, maybe on a later review.

Braking - 6/10

My test vehicle was not equipped with a hand brake and to be honest, I have not ridden a bicycle with coaster brakes in such a long time I forgot to even check. The wall I was next to however did a fine enough job to prevent me from barreling into a colleague carrying something inside the museum so I call that good. (Warning: Not all walls will provide similar stopping abilities, please check your wall's owner's manual before replicating.)

Ride & Handling - 8/20

The ride is almost Formula 1 hard but it is understandable as F1 cars actually have some suspension travel. While I do not normally like DUB and donk, the 24" wheels help to better roll over smaller obstacles and smooth out the smaller road vibration. Larger obstacles will leave you with a sore backside as again, the seating is not supple or supportive and the suspension is nonexistent. Unlike modern cars with drive by wire or electronically boosted steering, this is direct mechanical linkage like an old 930. Steering is direct if a bit nervous and twitchy at lower speeds. This goes away higher speeds though.

Gearbox - 6/10

Well, it's a one speed which is pretty simple and negates the whole manual vs. auto debate. The gearing is sadly a compromise as it feels too tall when starting out but is too short to really let it stretch its legs. Maybe a two or three speed would be nicer to give it some variety.

Toys -0/10

The bell did not work.

Audio - 10/10

This is really up to you. I wish more manufacturers would give you this much independence. I was carrying a nice tune the entire time but portable media player could easily be substituted for those less musically inclined.

Value - 10/10

These happen to be littered all around Mountain View and no one really seems to care about securing them. My quick joy ride was not stopped by an official of the Googleplex so I cannot comment on how closely they are watched nor of on the repercussions of not being of the Google and caught with one. (I remove myself from any liability if your own joy ride does not end as anticlimactically as mine.)

Score 58/100

Engine: 1 bored IT personnel

Power: < !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Transmission: Fixed Single Speed

0-62 Time: n/a

Top Speed: As fast as you can go

Drivetrain: Mid-Engine Rear Wheel Drive

Curb Weight: around 20 kg

Seating: One in the middle, as many as you can fit anywhere else

MPG (Imperial): Varies by breakfast

MSRP: Free!

Photos: Various from Google

This is my first review as a contributor to Oppo, My name is Nick, and I'm an IT professional for a large Non-Profit in the Bay Area. I have two Foci which are sadly not STs because the ST wasn't out when my wife's 9-3 died. I also have a 1984 Jetta GLI Coupe which the aforementioned wife says is not mine and am in the market for a Series 2 Alfa Romeo Spider.

MonkeePuzzle > burntartichoke 09/12/2014 at 13:33

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burntartichoke > MonkeePuzzle 09/12/2014 at 13:42

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Wow I didn't know they have been found in Southern California! After my quick spin around the parking lot I put it neatly back where I found it. It is very weird seeing them littering the town. There is usually one just sitting at the Middlefield Light Rail station, I assumed it is left there by a Google employee but I don't get why they don't just take it on the train?