Please, Help Me Figure Out Where I Lost My Motorcycle Keys

"Andrew P. Collins" (andrewpcollins)
09/11/2014 at 10:58 • Filed to: Plz Help

This is my 1991 Suzuki GSX-R 750. Runs like beast with a butt full of bumblebees, except for today. Today marks 24 hours since the keys went missing and I don't feel good about it at all. Anyone ever left a key somewhere weird that I might not have thought of yet?

I'm the kinda guy who has a "key table" with a specific place to each vehicle key, because I'm the kinda guy who loses shit. So the absence of said key from its "usual place" is disconcerting. I live alone and don't have any pets. And I'm on pretty good terms with the house ghost.

I haven't ridden the bike in something like ten days, so I have no clue what I was even wearing the last time I had the key.

Where I've checked:

Extensively around and under the key table

In the pockets of jackets, pants I ride in.

All over the motorcycle

Barn the motorcycle lives in

Path between house and barn

Office/desk

Bedroom

Couch cushions

Cursory glance around "random places" (bathroom, kitchen)

If Oppo can help me find my keys it's going to be the biggest Kinja win ever. Thoughts? Suggestions?

DISCUSSION (100)

OPPOsaurus WRX > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 10:59

fridge?

CounterTorqueSteer > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:00

in your helmet?

Andrew P. Collins > OPPOsaurus WRX
09/11/2014 at 11:01

Good suggestion, hadn't thought of it, not there.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:01

Where's your bottle opener? Might be next to where you popped a beer open after a ride?

Or maybe in/on toolbox in said barn?

yamahog > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:03

Helmet/anywhere you put your helmet down? I usually throw my keys and gloves in my helmet and one or both fall out from time to time.

Also, have you done any laundry? Check around the washer/dryer.

jariten1781 > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:04

Mine have been known to hang out in my dog's dry food bag.

JGrabowMSt > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:04

Mad libs time!

You had to have had the keys when you came back, because you parked the bike. You took said keys off the bike, and you were __________ them as you walked in the door, and when you inevitably had a _______ of epic proportions, you put the keys by the ___________. When you came to _________ and posted about said keys, user _________ told you that you're _________. In the end, your keys grew eyes, and were staring back at you from behind the _________. At which point, Mr Andrew P Collins said ________ _______ ________, I hate _______.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:04

Washing machine or dryer.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:05

your car?

Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:05

I usually keep my phone or change or something in my pockets with my keys and when I pull out my phone sometimes the keys will fall out too. Anything similar you do?

PatBateman > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:07

They're in the basement... Of the Alamo.

Look under the couch.

C-5M Load Smasher > yamahog
09/11/2014 at 11:11

I've washed my bike keys a few times. Check dirty laundry.

cazzyodo > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:12

I did something like this and because my car keys are on a carabiner they were actually on there as well.

No clue how or why.

Other spot was in my helmet. I think I had tossed them and my gloves in together when dropping stuff off quickly...so I wouldn't lose them -_-

Jonathon Klein > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:17

Bathroom?

Do you have a picture of your front room? Maybe we can narrow it down from there?

Andrew P. Collins > OPPOsaurus WRX
09/11/2014 at 11:18

Thought about this one... my DD is parked at a train station while I look after a Toyota Tacoma, will check it tomorrow.

Andrew P. Collins > CounterTorqueSteer
09/11/2014 at 11:19

Thought so too... no luck yet but I might take a second pass digging through the padding.

$kaycog > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:20

I don't think you're on such good terms with house ghost as you think you are. Such good suggestions here.........also drawers, cabinets. Good luck.

davedave1111 > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:24

It's an ~25 year old cylinder lock, yes? What do you need the keys for?

mcseanerson > OPPOsaurus WRX
09/11/2014 at 11:24

I'm usually more of a keys in the freezer kind of guy myself.

Dest > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:25

I'm sure it's in the last place you look.

I'm a dick.

mcseanerson > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:27

My advice is what I always tell everyone I do when I have checked all the usual places. Check all the unusual places. I put things in the weirdest of places, mainly because I'm absent minded.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:27

Have you checked between your buttocks? That's nature's pocket.

Kinja'd!!!

Mattbob > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:30

Did you check any cars you may have driven? I always toss stuff on my passenger seat and it inevitably slides off the side and I forget about it.

jariten1781 > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:31

They've gone to the place that single socks go.

Tohru > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:32

You've forgotten to check my pockets. I'll be by to pick up the bike later today.

MICROSOFTW0RD > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:34

I know this feel and it sucks

Collin > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:34

Are you 100% certain that the keys aren't still in the ignition?

What about the Tacoma?

Jeff-God-of-Biscuits > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:41

It may sound silly, but if you have a friend with a similar Suzuki, try their key. My friend and I had same year model FZR's and the keys were swappable.

handyjoe > Collin
09/11/2014 at 11:44

Every time I can't find my motorcycle keys, they're in the ignition.

Occasionally I'm thinking about something while trying to take gloves/helmet/sunglasses/etc. off, and forget to grab the key from the ignition.

Unless they're in the seat lock, next to the helmet I "locked" to the bike. Whoops.

DailyTurismo > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 11:59

Top of the fridge? Or in the pantry next to the groceries.

Collin > handyjoe
09/11/2014 at 12:09

Honestly, my key's in my bike right now. The joke's on anybody who thinks they can steal it out of the garage though. The battery isn't in it, and I need to replace the master brake cylinder.

Sn210 > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 12:35

Where is the last place you would look?

JeffyNocare > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 12:35

Did you check up your butt?

Boombayadda > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 12:58

Freezer, cutlery drawer, food storage area, place where plates and glasses live, near the toilet, mailbox

Trin-Engr > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 13:08

Bottom of the laundry hamper. Dropped in with clothes, slip to bottom under everything.

Prophet of hoon > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 13:59

It will be in the last place you look

irisfailsafe5000 > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 13:59

People often retrace steps but they do it wrong. Retrace the steps remembering the little things like I stood up and went to the bathroom but on the way I stopped at the kitchen and put the juice in the fridge... It is is those things between actions that you loose stuff

mrandreww > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:00

Dude, where's my car motorcycle keys

dmat > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:01

i hate saying this but they are gone bro. I had a set of keys up and dissappear from the entire property one day. I had them in my hand maybe 10 minutes before hand then they were gone. I had 3 other people helping look for them and nothing. We never found them and from then on i was using the spares.

get-nick > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:01

Backpack

helmet

gloves

boots

ignition (serious)

bed of girl that i banged after the ride (also serious)

BabyClaude > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:02

Behind your toliet,

Juan Tawn > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:03

Bathroom cabinets, dressers, and possibly the fridge.

Sweet Trav > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:03

Clean the entire house. Pull sofa cushions, sort fold all that laundry, etc.

If you find your key great. If not at least your whole home is clean while you wait for a replacement ignition cylinder and key set.

DetroitMuscle > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:03

I mindlessly picked up my cell phone with a bunch of tools I was using and put everything away in a remote drawer.A couple weeks later I went for a tool and...Voila! there it was.

JohnnyWasASchoolBoy > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:04

The non-riding jacket you had on yesterday.

Centre console of another vehicle.

X-ray the dog

MIATAAAA > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:04

Once mine slipped off the foot of the bed between the mattress and the footboard. Took me FOREVER to find them, but there they were. Good luck! Hope you find them!

Taddraughn > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:05

I left one of my motorcycle keys in a pair of dress pants that i didnt wear for the next year. Found them a year later and i didn't even have the bike anymore. I had an extra at the time thank god

Eric the RC guy > OPPOsaurus WRX
09/11/2014 at 14:05

It's incredibly odd that the answer I came here to give was already posted. My mother used to lose her keys in the oddest places.

HammerheadFistpunch > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
09/11/2014 at 14:05

Just be careful no one picks your pocket!

InsaneMaltesePapi > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:06

Suggestion: when you do find it, put something on the wall with hooks right inside your front door, a place you will automatically look at every time you walk in the door. Then put your keys on one of those hooks every time you walk in the door. I use to lose keys at least once a week. Haven't lost one since.

emanresu > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:06

Kinja'd!!!

...happened to a friend.

Ok, seriously though, have you checked the bathroom area?

Dr.Kerdinglebooten > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:06

Freezer....always the freezer.

Ball hog > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:07

Refrigerator? Garbage, have you thrown anything away?

ChrisGT > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:07

i've actually found my motorcycle keys inside my helmet and under the seat (you don't have spares?)

Ceptor800 > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:07

In your helmet. Also check the helmet lock on the bike(yes, I know you said you checked on the bike, but thats one I've forgotten before, so check again).

Ingo-Castilho > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:07

Do you have a dog? is he a bull dog? if so, get him X-rayed.

Ceptor800 > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:08

If you wear gloves, check in around where you threw them.

Fragile_this_side_up > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:08

i leave mine in my bike. because it gets to stay in a garage. and i ride it every day. What you should be asking yourself is why did you leave it sit for 10 days in the first place...

David-inc > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:09

This is the best news headline I think I've ever seen.

deliquus > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:09

Do you have kids?

Kinja'd!!!

pauljones > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:10

Do more than a cursory glance around the kitchen. If food is your favorite four-letter f-word, then the kitchen is one of the most likely places to leave random stuff.

Do you read? Check the bookshelf.

Are you like me, and have a bunch of crap accumulated on any available flat surface? Check the dining room table and any little side tables you may have. Check underneath all the crap.

Did you throw a bunch of stuff in the trash recently? Hope the trash hasn't been collected. If not, dig through the trash. If it has been collected already, start shitting your pants.

Check the bottom of the dirty laundry basket. If your dirty laundry basket happens to be large, carpeted, and the approximate size and shape of your bedroom, check your whole bedroom. Again.

Riding boots. I've done that before. Check that you didn't throw them in there for convenience when trying to carry a bunch of shit. If you don't have riding boots, get riding boots. Refrain from putting your keys in them, however, unless you want your keys to smell like rancid bacon.

Do you have significant other, and if so, have been to their place lately? If yes, check there. If your SO is a woman, check her purse. Same goes for family as well, if you've visited any recently.

Future reference: Never leave shit like keys on a table. It's too easy for them to get swept off or buried. Instead, buy a key rack to mount on the wall.

Good luck.

Eric Leonard > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:10

I once lost my car keys in a parking lot on the dashboard. Had put them up there for some reason, and couldn't see them when I sat in the driver's seat. I felt ridiculous. lol

Audi-os, Amigos! > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:10

Immediately behind/beneath your normal surfaces, in case it slid off or fell.

Random dumb place like a drawer in case you had it in your hand, got sidetracked to do something else, and "set it down just for a sec" in a temporary place to readjust your grip or something, then forgot to pick the key back up.

The latter is where my stuff usually ends up being.

klurejr > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:11

The only times I have ever lost my keys were when I left them in the ignition of my bike.....

Big Block I-4 > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:11

This is most likely very unhelpful, but it will be i the last place you look for it before you find it. Seriously I vote dirty hamper, or my wife's favorite place for me to "lose" my keys, hanging in the front door all night

klurejr > klurejr
09/11/2014 at 14:11

Unless you have a helmet lock they could be in?

Eli's Got 2 > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:12

Shirt with a pocket? Is there anyone else that can help you look? Sometimes your brain will play tricks on you, and overlook the very thing you are looking for. If that makes any sense? I know it sounds crazy, but it's happened to me. Clear your head, and re-look if you can. Good luck! :)

Hyper1100 > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:12

Funny as I was in the same situation recently.

After weeks of searching (at least I had a spare key), I eventually found my key in the pocket of a pair of jeans I cleaned.

tonered > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:12

Down the inside of the fairings. I fumbled on down there once.

My X-type is too a real Jaguar > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:12

Under or around the bed, I lost my keys for 2 weeks because although I always put them in the bowl on the 1940 Philco Console, I was tired and forgot, so i put them on the night stand and then knocked them off between the nightstand and the bed.

Andrew P. Collins > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
09/11/2014 at 14:13

No luck.

900turbo > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:13

Check the door pocket on the driver's side of your car.

Do it now.

Ceptor800 > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:14

Seriously, you only have one key? I always keep a spare flat key on my keychain in case I lose the original far from home. Plus the one duct taped somewhere in the fairings.

VoOnTheGo > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:14

Pick up one end of the couch and shake it while listening for a key jingle.

McMike > JGrabowMSt
09/11/2014 at 14:15

I'll play!

You had to have had the keys when you came back, because you parked the bike. You took said keys off the bike, and you were eating them as you walked in the door, and when you inevitably had a Pineapple of epic proportions, you put the keys by the Kim Kardashian. When you came to Whorehouse and posted about said keys, user George Bush told you that you're smelly. In the end, your keys grew eyes, and were staring back at you from behind the Bread crumbs . At which point, Mr Andrew P Collins said rusty pitchfork virgin , I hate Matt Hardigree.

Paullubbock > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:15

I once lost my car keys. Porsche 928S I didn't drive but once a week or less. Looked every where, common places. They were lost for a week and then I awoke straight up from a dream that told me exactly where they were. Sure enough, that morning I walked right over to it, outside. On the key ring was a key for my motorcycle seat storage and I had taken the key ring and used it to open the seat storage and left it still in the key hole days ago.

Think of what other keys are on the ring. You could have used one of those keys to access something that you don't normally do and left it in that area.

macanamera > JGrabowMSt
09/11/2014 at 14:16

You had to have had the keys when you came back, because you parked the bike. You took said keys off the bike, and you were smelling them as you walked in the door, and when you inevitably had a tomato of epic proportions, you put the keys by the snapping turtle . When you came to 4chan and posted about said keys, user Macanamera told you that you're gonna git rekt m8 . In the end, your keys grew eyes, and were staring back at you from behind the computer screen . At which point, Mr Andrew P Collins said cucumber november playstation , I hate Patrick George .

Did I do that right?

penrob > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:16

I would take the fairing off, if you haven't already. It could be hiding in there.

Diesel > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:17

Did you check your butt? That's where I always find my missing things. Just get your head up there and have a look around.

Sanettika > OPPOsaurus WRX
09/11/2014 at 14:17

This was going to be my suggestion as well. My poor father left the television remote in the fridge once, my mother never let him hear the end of it.

Countersteer > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:17

10 days? That key is long gone... in the trash. Sorry...

borkbork69 > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:18

what what, in your butt?

TCass > OPPOsaurus WRX
09/11/2014 at 14:18

Damn. I would've sworn it was the fridge. It's happened to me a couple times.

The Burner Kept Rubbin > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:18

is it attached to a keychain? If its just a key, it will easily lodge into small crevices/cracks, tears in clothing, helmet lining, folds in clothing etc

Check inside your riding gloves

Check behind / under furnitures

Check all your other keys one by one

Wife / girlfriend / partner / mother / anyone overly protective, mightve hidden the keys to prevent you from cleaning asphalt with your face :D

Good luck!

CheapIsTheWord > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:19

It's amazing how little motorcycle styling has changed in two decades. Almost makes the 911's evolution look radical.

Countersteer > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:19

I had a key made for my Honda with nothing more than the key code. I "think" it was on a tag with the original keys (I know that's asking a lot). But, the number may be on one of the locks (ignition, fork, seat). Once you get that number, the dealer can cut you one, from a blank, without the need for an original. They had a little key cutter thing that they set up with a template and nibbled out the key. Hope this helps...

Clay_T > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:20

Check the mailbox? Buddy of mine had the mail slot in the garage door. When the door was up it made a nice pocket to toss his keys... except he forgot he tossed them there, for a week.

pauljones > JohnnyWasASchoolBoy
09/11/2014 at 14:21

The X-ray the dog thing cracked me up because I actually know someone that had that happen. Their dog actually ate the key.

Rick Allen's Left Arm > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:21

I've had mine fall into my boots (no clue how) or bounce under various bits of furniture. They've been found in my car, toolbox, silverware drawer, bathroom drawer, guitar case, and laundry hamper to name a few.

There is a reason why I now have key hooks by the door, and try my best to never take the keys farther into the house.

StndIbnz > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:21

Done this before so it might help. Check the lock for the back seat of the bike. Mine on the R6 is on the side under the main seat, real easy to miss if you arn't looking for them. If you opened up the back to get something out, might have forgotten them in there when you put the seat back on.

Hope you find them! As soon as you do, have a spare made!

macanamera > McMike
09/11/2014 at 14:22

You realize that completely independently, we picked fruits for line 2 and a Jalopnik author for the last one, lol

Jeb_Hoge > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:23

It's probably some place you looked already. Loop back around and take your time.

awgrbr > pauljones
09/11/2014 at 14:23

I have accidentally thrown away a rental car key when I emptied the car of garbage. Luckily, after a little brainstorming, I considered that option, duped out the trash can in an empty parking space, and poked around with a stick until I found it. I was very far from the (shady and independent) rental company, and very relieved.

Mpusch > Collin
09/11/2014 at 14:25

Wheel it out of the garage.

Part out your bike.

????

Profit.

palm9473 > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:25

You try the seat/trunk compartment key cylinder in the bike? I lost my keys for a few hours, grabbed my spare set, went back to the bike to get in the back to put my kickstand plate away and there was something already there :)

Mpusch > mcseanerson
09/11/2014 at 14:26

This! People ask me why I'm looking in an odd place for something. They get the same answer everytime, "If you've looked everywhere you expect it to be and can't find it, it must be somewhere you don't expect it".

erikgrad > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:26

The keys are in the door jam to the house.

handyjoe > Collin
09/11/2014 at 14:28

So if you can get it bump started, you can't stop it.

Challenge accepted.

Mailbox Cancer > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:28

Kinja'd!!!

McMike > Andrew P. Collins
09/11/2014 at 14:28

Look in every pocket. Not just the clothes you thought you were wearing 10 days ago, but the ones on the floor, the closet, the laundry, dresser drawers. Pants, shirts, jackets... everything..

EVERYTHING.