Fuck the DMV

"sm70- why not Duesenberg?" (sm70-whynotduesenberg) 09/03/2014 at 17:25 • Filed to: None

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These words have been recited more than any famous quote from any celebrity and great thinker. Legend has it that the 3rd tablet that Mel Brooks dropped simply had the words "Fuck the DMV" scrawled across it. We got the call today saying that my plates had arrived. I got out of school and we headed over to the DMV as quickly as we could. The DMV closes at four. We pulled in the lot at four and walked up to the door to find a man there locking the doors. "We're closed." he says and points to the "til 4pm" sign. My dad looks at his watch. 4pm. We tell him, surprisingly politely, that we just need to grab our new plates, and it will take just a moment. "Sorry, we're closed" he repeats as monotonously as humanly possible, and shuts the door. Most stereotypical DMV employee ever. He even looked like somebody that seriously didn't have a single thing in life he cared about, let alone the people who had no choice but to come to the place where he begrudgingly worked. Seriously, you'd think the people who hire people to work the DMV would want to hire friendly, helpful people, instead of "I won't save your puppy from a burning building by snapping my fingers because it's my lunch break and I'm holding my fork."

Textured Soy Protein > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 09/03/2014 at 17:29

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The guy at my local DMV branch who takes the driver's license photos is really creepy—he has an almost-perm looking mullet, and a hook for a hand.

ttyymmnn > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 09/03/2014 at 17:34

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It seems there is just something about working for the government that just sucks the soul out of people and turns them into mindless automatons. My local post office is a prime example of this. However, our local tax office, where we pay for auto registrations, is actually rather pleasant. The wait, even at the main office downtown, is never more than 15 minutes on a busy day. That's one thing that Travis County (TX) has gotten right.

PetarVN, GLI Guy, now with stupid power > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 09/03/2014 at 17:40

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When I went to the DOL to get my license, I got to the counter, and this slightly chubby woman in her 30's was working there. she was casually jamming out to "Rude", so I joined in! during the whole 15 minute process we just chatted about random things, and she wished me all the best in my driving career as I was leaving.

IDK why, but I'm really lucky with this stuff!

jariten1781 > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 09/03/2014 at 17:41

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My favorite DMV experience:

Don't remember what it is I was going in for, but it apparently required an appointment. This is a small down DMV and when I walked in there was literally no customers. Told the clerk what I was there for and she stated that required an appointment. I asked if I could sign up for an appointment and was informed that they only scheduled them via phone. Left, walked down the street to the Texaco that was nearby and called the number she gave me on the pay phone.

Same lady answered and I asked when the next available appointment was. Turns out they had openings all afternoon. Scheduled for the next slot which was 15 minutes from then. Walked back in and told the clerk I had the appointment for the top of the hour. She took my name and said 'I'll call you when it's your time'.

Sat down and waited in the empty building by myself for 10 minutes and was finally helped. So bizarre.

BZiel > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 09/03/2014 at 17:42

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Try it in Germany. At the TuV. At 08:30 in the morning. With waiver papers.

You don't know DMV hell until you've been here.

Big Bubba Ray > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 09/03/2014 at 17:46

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I can see both sides to this here. Yes, the guy was a dick for not letting you grab your plates, but he has a life outside of the DMV. Chances are he had somewhere else to be and didn't want to be slowed down. And from your perspective, it's annoying as hell when you get there and they won't comply with a simple request.

I work at a smoothie place and we close at 7 o'clock every day. I get countless people who show up at 7:00 on the dot, or 7:01 and expect me to let them in and get a smoothie. Not happening! I have a life to live outside of the smoothie shop, people!

Sidenote, why do you have to wait for your plates? In Missouri, you just show safety/emissions inspections and they give you new plates on the spot.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > jariten1781 09/03/2014 at 17:52

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The people who work the DMV are robots. Everything must be done to the letter in the rulebook, because they can't process logic like the rest of us.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Big Bubba Ray 09/03/2014 at 17:53

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Vanity plates.

& I guess you're right, but at least around here, that's not usually how it works.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 09/03/2014 at 18:15

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Florida actually does something right! If you special order a plate... they mail it to you!

Klaus Schmoll > BZiel 09/03/2014 at 18:30

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That's the thing. You never go to the TÜV yourself and present your car! You either have a local shop that gets visited by a TÜV inspector twice a week or you have them put it through themselves. Professionals of some sort dealing with other professionals. They know each other, they trust each other. "Just slab a sticker on that, you know that I will have this rust hole covered by 5 o'clock when the custaomer wants his car back."

I once bought a MKII Golf that had been in a slight fender bender off my neighbour who works at a VW dealership. I worked on it with a friend to get some quick cash. He let us use an unused garage on the premises to work on it. One day, he called me to tell me that it had passed TÜV inspection. It was missing a headlight, grille, front bumper, and fender at that stage. He just told them a cry me a river tale of two students working on it to get a car for themselves. TÜV inspector slapped the sticker on the plates while saying "Yeah, but tell them to put it back together!"

Another story: A tire once disintegrated on me on the Autobahn on my Mazda 626 GE hatch. (Still had some tread left but were old. Will never do this again!) The remains did cause havoc on the front driver's side quarter of the car. I fixed most of it with cheap e-bay parts and cable binders, but the airbag warning light was still on. Got the parts from a scrapper but the light was still on. Pushed it through TÜV via my local indie mechanic. "Yeah I'll tell him to get that thing re-set at the Mazda dealership."

BZiel > Klaus Schmoll 09/04/2014 at 14:41

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No doubt about it, not going to TuV is the best way. But, since I was trying to first time register a 1994 Honda ST100 motorcycle imported from the US, they required a visit.