"Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy" (zipppyart)
09/01/2014 at 09:20 • Filed to: None
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"Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy" (zipppyart)
09/01/2014 at 09:20 • Filed to: None | 1
| 23 |
Another one of these "rants", but whatever.. I've been "fighting" my parents, my mother mainly, for over a year to get a proper car that I will hold on to, instead of a rusty basket case.
My father just dismisses my ideas on what to do with my money, and refuses to help, he is supportive in other things though, while mom is either overly persuasive against my choices, or is plainly scandalous when she doesn't like it.
So first Mom pressures me into buying a rusty SUV owned by a friend, but won't let me check out a 24 year old car in better condition.
She didn't let me check out a decent purple 1996 Mazda MX-6 last year, the reason why? It was purple and it was "too fast" and has "too many miles". She kept saying "you don't like this, have this [new car] instead" every goddamn time I brought it up.
For example, if I were to get an old Geo Metro, my mom would pressure me into getting an Aveo instead, just because it's "newer and greater", while I feel the Geo will basically outlast the Aveo.
I don't want the same issue happening again this year, she's questioning me about getting a white car, which is the one I just saw on Kijiji recently. It is a 1990 model and have messaged the owner, I also assume the car he's selling isn't a turbo, as it lacks the black bezel trim to be one.
Some of the people I'm close to don't have cars, or even licenses to drive for that matter, and yet they fantasize what awesome cars they'll buy as their first. So yeah.. Not many people can help me out, unless I hang around more car people.
Conan
> Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
09/01/2014 at 09:30 |
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Charm your mother with Miata cuteness? Alternately locate a friend/relative with something you want that's newer and can't afford and use that to leverage money out of them. "You want me in a newer car!"
My sister had something of a similar problem at first but convinced my parents with the power of the "Volvos are safe." meme to get her an 850R that she probably couldn't have quite afforded solo. She kept it until she recently got her Mazda 3 herself.
jeffywk
> Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
09/01/2014 at 09:32 |
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Hang around car people? You're in a good place. Get the old car.
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Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
> Conan
09/01/2014 at 09:39 |
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There are some newer cars I wouldn't mind having, but I'd prefer an older one for the time being. but getting a brand new car as my first? Too expensive on the upkeep.
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Conan
> Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
09/01/2014 at 09:45 |
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Yeah, I think you probably just have to succeed in finding something to trigger the "My child is in a safe car." "My child is in a reliable car." switches like my sister did. My parents were funny about it. They didn't care what I got as long as there was a mechanic for it close (Aka they didn't want me to indulge my Jaguar fascination which is fairly reasonable in comparison) but with her it was a big deal.
deekster_caddy
> Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
09/01/2014 at 09:58 |
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Put your reasons in writing. Well written, explain your thoughts and reasoning. Leave it on the kitchen table. Include important things like "an MX-6 is not a sports car, that would be an Eclipse GS-X" and "I'm spending my own money..." and "SUVs are inherently unsafe and the rust is a concern because... rotted brake lines, etc" But write it, review it, have an english major help you revise it, then leave it on the table for your mom to find and read when you aren't home. Include somewhere that you want mom AND dad to read this and discuss together.
I found in my younger days that arguments with my parents never went well because I would get heated and forget 90% of what I wanted to say, and the other 10% was lost because we were arguing. Writing it down means they get to see that you are thinking this through and understand their concerns, but also that they will understand that you get what you are talking about.
The Transporter
> Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
09/01/2014 at 10:22 |
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If there's one thing I can't stand its parents who want to coddle their children through adolescence and into adulthood. I've been having to clean up these parents messes for over a decade. When I was a Sergeant in the Army I would get new kids all the time that didn't even know how to do laundry, let alone manage their finances. Now is the time for you to start learning by making mistakes. If you try to start learning how to manage your finances in College where your parents won't be constantly around to help you, then you're going to have a bad time. People naturally learn more from their mistakes than their successes and it is always preferable to learn from these mistakes in an environment where the consequences can be mitigated.
If your parents won't cut the apron strings, then you have to be the adult and do it for them. What has to happen next is going to require a lot of courage: you're going to have to put your foot down to your parents. When you talk to them next about this, you must not negotiate and you must not bargain. This is your money, this is your car. It is not theirs. You must state in no uncertain terms that you are going to use your money to buy the car you want and they will no longer be involved in the decision making process and that this is something that they are just going to have to accept.
The best case scenario is that they accept this fact and allow you to make your own choices. You must, however, steel yourself for the worst case scenario where they forbid you from making your own financial decisions. I don't really know anything about Canadian law (I'm assuming you're Canadian because you talked about Kijiji), but you will need to use your Google-fu skills to figure out what you need to do purchase a car in your province without your parent's permission, assuming you need their permission in the first place. Once they find out about this there will no doubt be some considerable friction at home that you will have to prepare yourself for, but you must continue to stand your ground. This is your life and you must be allowed to live it. Making mistakes is part of living and you must be allowed to make them.
mcseanerson
> Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
09/01/2014 at 10:33 |
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Find an newer SUV with a terrible crash test video and tell them you're thinking about getting one and a day or two later say you don't know and that you're concerned about safety and show them the video.
When they freak out tell them you were thinking about maybe getting an old Volvo wagon instead because it's safer.
Here's your SUV footage.
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mcseanerson
> Conan
09/01/2014 at 10:34 |
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Exactly what I was thinking. Get a Volvo or a Mazda 3. Parents should love those.
GhostZ
> Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
09/01/2014 at 11:06 |
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Depreciation. Depreciation depreciation depreciation .
Buy an old car that will increase in price.
Nedus
> Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
09/01/2014 at 11:16 |
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An older car will be cheaper to insure. Also, if you go out and just buy a car and bring it home, they can't exactly argue with that, can they? How old are you, and what is your budget?
Let's face it; your mom probably knows less about cars than the tree outside my window, and likely will veto a certain brand of car because her friend's cousin once had a check engine light in one in 1993.
She is an obstacle. Eliminate her.
AMGtech - now with more recalls!
> Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
09/01/2014 at 11:17 |
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It's your money, buy what you want. Get a pre purchase inspection and use that as leverage also showing how your ideas are far better than their escape idea was. I think as long as you don't buy something unreliable and unsafe they will agree to sign. Even ask the tech who does the inspection what his opinion is of that car and what kind of experience he's had with them.
Saf1
> Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
09/01/2014 at 11:26 |
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CTRL+S THANKS
Mr. Edward Mann-Polandballer
> Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
09/01/2014 at 12:08 |
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Sell the parental units on VW GTI's/Golfs, Saabs, the Ford Focus, the mazda 3, and Volvos as they are very, very safe. Sell the golf/gti on the outstanding EuroNCAP crash test for the mk4, the saab on the results of top gear dropping a 1980's Saab 900 on it's roof from 15-20 feet (my mom and dad would gladly cosign on a 30 year old saab after seeing that clip), and the volvo on any given crash test you want.
This technique has worked wonders, nay miracles, on my parents.
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Mr. Edward Mann-Polandballer
> Mr. Edward Mann-Polandballer
09/01/2014 at 12:20 |
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Saab safety (0:53 to end for first video)
MK4 golf safety
MK1 Focus safety
Mazda3 safety (gen 1 and 2)
DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully
> Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
09/01/2014 at 12:44 |
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I like the little Mazda. Alternatively, if you're in Canuckistan, get an old Kei car. Y'all can get the Cappuccino already.
But seriously, it's your money, get the car you want. My mother protested the thought of me owning a second car when I lived at home, right up until the point when B13 Sentra #2 showed up. Then, she protested owning three cars, until Volvo #3 was parked in the driveway.
Pay your insurance, buy your own car, parents can't protest.
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Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
> mcseanerson
09/01/2014 at 14:26 |
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Old Volvo's are plentiful over here, and are dirt cheap. I'd get one as a Winter beater, since most would pass safety and are rock solid.
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Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
> Mr. Edward Mann-Polandballer
09/01/2014 at 14:28 |
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We have a MKIV Jetta at home, and I enjoy it, but since my brother's pretty much using it, I'm deciding to get my own car.
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Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
> Nedus
09/01/2014 at 14:32 |
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I'm currently 22, and fresh out of college.
Trying to teach my mother details of her van puts her to sleep. She knows it's a 6 cyl, and is often surprised that it puts out a bit less than 250 HP.
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Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
> DancesWithRotors - Driving Insightfully
09/01/2014 at 15:32 |
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Definitely considered a Kei car, because they're so unique, but I imagine the cost for parts will rack up quickly.
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Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
> The Transporter
09/01/2014 at 15:56 |
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I have to agree, I haven't been able to learn much since my seizure in high school, my mother's been grasping me a bit too tightly (metaphorically, of course) and I wasn't able to work for pay. I did Co-op jobs with a program in school, where I barely managed to focus due to medication. Ever since that issue, I haven't been able to make decisions, without my mother's consent.
As for buying cars, it's not much different than the USA, and it depends per household, the name on the title is the same as the name on the insurance.
Some will put up with the purchase and move on, while others will plainly scrap the vehicle on sight.
JGrabowMSt
> Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
09/03/2014 at 23:29 |
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The main questions are:
1) Can you afford the car?
2) Can you afford the insurance on the car?
3) Do you have the knowledge to fix and/or can you afford to repair the car?
If the answers to those are all yes, then they are not the final decision makers. I bought a car with higher mileage than what I currently drive, but no rust, better everything, and my dad has nothing nice to say about it. I let him get it all out, and things are fine. Parents do know a lot about a great many things, there's no denying that. No one knows everything, and not everything always works out exactly how people think. That's why my 147k Magnum is better in 8 out of 10 ways compared to the Neon (the neon has 2 out of 10 because it's a manual and gets 30+MPG). In the end, it's my money. If I'm wrong, I'll have to either eat crow and fix it, or eat crow and get something else. Whichever way it is, I have to hold my ground and make my own decision. Did I ignore what my dad had to say about it? No, he had valid points about cars with higher mileage, and buying used cars in general. The difference is, he always bought used cars from dealerships that didn't care. I bought from a private seller that no longer had interest in the car. Sure, there's plenty of things that I found out later on, but none of it has made me want to get rid of the Magnum for anything.
In short, listen to them, but do what's best for you. They wont like it, but if it works out better (and let's be honest, it's going to be tough to get something worse than that Escape), you'll be fine. You can gloat about it, but much, much later in life.
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Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
> JGrabowMSt
09/06/2014 at 11:57 |
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all checkboxes are ticked, but of course, mom calls whats mine, "hers", and throws a hissy fit when I use my own money from my own paycheck..
let me see here, my mother keeps trying to guilt-trip me until I agree with her. like I said before, she wants me to get a newer hatchback, because of "practicality" and ease of driving. I need to show her that I am all grown up and I don't need parent intervention. I understand the risks, and possible issues an older car will provide.
After testing the pictured Mazda (on Tuesday), It handled and performed better than anything i've ever driven, but of course, it lacks the airbags my father wants in the car. This is a 25 year old car, after all.
My parents know nothing about me testing it. and it should be that way until I buy it. This pretty much will be a "middle finger" to the bubble-wrapping they've done to me all these years.
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JGrabowMSt
> Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
09/06/2014 at 12:22 |
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Honestly, I did the same thing when I bought my Magnum. My dad didn't want me buying a used car (his used car buying history is riddled with major lemons). In the end, it's not his, and he did admit he can't tell me what to buy. That didn't change how annoyed he was about it though. In the end, they'll get over it, that's what family is supposed to do.
In the looks department, I'll freely admit the Mazda doesn't do much for me, but most econoboxes share that. I just was never one to enjoy econoboxes (though I can appreciate them just as much as anyone else for what they were made to do).
Buying the magnum (because I wanted a hatch/wagon) was a middle finger over the hatch that my dad chose not to buy (and ended up trying to go get and missing out on). When looking for used cars, we found a late 2000's Kia Rio Hatchback in a beautiful light blue that was an early return lease model from a Subaru dealer in Budd Lake, NJ. I think the asking price was something around 7800 or something in that ballpark, which was slightly more than what my dad was looking to pay, but it was a manual, a hatch, under 10k miles, and it was beautiful. I instantly fell in love with it, but my dad wasn't happy with the price and the fact that the dealer wasn't willing to haggle a car in that good shape (which is completely understandable for this car). The day my dad decided to go back and buy it, a nice young woman had driven it off the lot just a few minutes before he arrived. So instead of a low mileage, wonderful condition hatch, I got a clapped out second gen Neon which ate 2 transmissions (technically just the throwout bearing on one), and has in general, had the reliability of a used a Chrysler 4cyl econobox. It should have had an expiration date of 1/2010, because maybe we wouldn't have bought if that were the case, and the problems wouldn't have been so dramatic.
So in all, be prepared for a bit of hell over it, but coming from very similar experience, you're doing the right thing for you.