Formula Oppo: The Nintendo Grand Prix of Little Little Italy

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko)
09/05/2014 at 11:07 • Filed to: fo

Hey, you! You there; scrolling down on your fancy smart phone or you iApple computer or whatever you damn utes call your gizmos and whatchamacallits. Want to join in on the 13th round of the Formula 1 racquets that we have going on over heres? We calls it !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , if ya in.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , this Papa-Johns-eating-motherfucker right here won his third race of this season. Yeah, this Italian stallion won another race. Why? Because Nico shanked ol' Lewis's tire on the second lap, putting Hamilton's car to bed a little early if'n ya know what I mean...

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

This here track is a fast one, like the fast one of tha muthafuggin year. Hamilton might be looking to even out the score this race, and is definitely lookin for tha win. Rosberg's gotta prove this race that he's the number 1 boy out there. Vettel's getting a new chassis for this race. Everybody's running their low downforce, high speed aero. Ferrari's gotta little bit of a home field advantage here. Meanwhile Captain Crest up there has become a contender for the championship bout. What do you mean I'm funny? What do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What? Funny how? What's funny about it? Oh, oh, Anthony. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how? What? No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny! You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny? Ya motherfucker! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.

Anyways, here are your fugging drivers for the fucking race, ya motherfucker:

Sebastian Vettel- Red Bull

Daniel Ricciardo- Red Bull

Max Chilton Alexander Rossi- Marussia

Jules Bianchi- Marussia

Nico Rosberg- Mercedes

Lewis Hamilton- Mercedes

Kimi Räikkönen- Ferrari

Fernando Alonso- Ferrari

Romain Grosjean- Lotus

Pastor Maldonado- Lotus

Marcus Ericsson- Caterham

Kamui Kobayashi or Andre Lotterer Mystery Guest - Caterham

Sergio Perez- Force India

Nico Hulkenberg- Force India

Felipe Massa- Williams

Valtteri Bottas- Williams

Kevin Magnussen- McLaren

Jenson Button- McLaren

Esteban Gutierrez- Sauber

Adrian Sutil- Sauber

Jean-Eric Vergne- Toro Rosso

Daniil Kvyat- Toro Rosso

Who am I picking? Wouldn't you like to know.

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Valtreri Bottas

Q. Lewis Hamilton

Curse: Fogetaboutit

You have until Q1, (Saturday 6th at 8:00 am est) to make your picks or else you get to try on some new shoes. Shoes made from concrete, that is.

Buona fortuna.

DISCUSSION (50)

Brian Silvestro > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
08/30/2014 at 12:02

Kinja'd!!!

I lol'd hard.

1. Rosberg

2. Hamilton

3. Ricciardo

Q. Rosberg

kinjasignedmeout > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
08/30/2014 at 12:32

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Bottas

Q. Rosberg

Curse: Mystery Guest

XJDano > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
08/30/2014 at 12:45

I'm new here at this, so I won't win overall, but just for fun.

1. Vettel

2. Alonso

3. Ricciardo

Q. Hamilton

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > XJDano
08/30/2014 at 12:52

bold picks

XJDano > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
08/30/2014 at 12:58

yeah, thinking Vettel will eventually get 1 win this year, the silver spoon boys will likely golden shower each other again (Hammy's fault this time)

& Alonso might be able to make the car work with him.

Or I'm completely wrong, which is most likely correct.

I've tried to watch every race I could, but something usually messes up where I don't get to see the whole race.

Thought about a curse, but maybe I'll get some points first, although one of the toro rosso drivers has had mechanical failures for like 6 in a row, right?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > XJDano
08/30/2014 at 13:21

haven't paid much attention to them

EL_ULY > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
08/30/2014 at 13:26

What? You want my picks? This guy here...who do I look like, your fuggin servant here? Let tell ya somthin, *points gun* I got your answers right here Archy.

Q. Luis

1. Luis

2. Fernandini

3. The Don's little hissy fit "princess"

Capeesh!?

*drives away to the spray tan gym club bar with his bros fist puming to old school Tupac in his yellow Audi A4 cabriolet honking and hitting on high school girls on the Joyzee shore*

XJDano > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
08/30/2014 at 13:29

me neither but I think they mentioned it when he pulled off the track & out of the car discussed.

Agrajag > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
08/30/2014 at 14:20

1. Hamilton

2. Bottas

3. Alonso (he is likely to pull of some captain magic shit to get on the podium)

Q. Hamilton

Bobololo23 is waiting for the FT86 to come > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
08/30/2014 at 14:23

1. HAM

2.ROS

3.MAS

Q. No one as I was late

Tim (Fractal Footwork) > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
08/30/2014 at 15:46

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Valtteri Bottas

3. Nico Rosberg

Q. Lewis Hamilton

Bobololo23 is waiting for the FT86 to come > Bobololo23 is waiting for the FT86 to come
08/31/2014 at 20:20

I just realized the race is next weekend, so Q will be Ham

MFEJAL grey because who knows... > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/01/2014 at 11:57

Q Hamilton

1 Hamilton

2 Ricciardo

3 Bottas

I hope Rosberg crashes with no excuses.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > MFEJAL grey because who knows...
09/01/2014 at 11:59

Is that a curse?

MFEJAL grey because who knows... > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/01/2014 at 12:04

Kinja'd!!!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > MFEJAL grey because who knows...
09/01/2014 at 12:05

So, yes?

MFEJAL grey because who knows... > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/01/2014 at 12:13

Rosberg will crash and have no excuses. He will try to blame the tires, a vibration, a faulty brake, but the world will know he's not made to be a World Champion.

He can be a wonderful CEO, by the way.

hike > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/01/2014 at 14:40

1. Valterri Bottas

2. Lewis Hamilton

3. Daniel Riccardo

Q. Nico Rosberg

RTeeJay > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/01/2014 at 15:00

1. Rosberg

2. Ricciardo

3. Bottas

Q. Rosberg

Haimatox > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/01/2014 at 15:07

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Riccairdo

Q. Hamilton

Bandit > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/01/2014 at 15:35

Ham

Ros

Bottas

Q Ros

Sergio SVeron > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/02/2014 at 00:29

1 Nico

2 Bottas

3 Ricciardo

Q Nico

Curse: Maldonado will crash Hamilton

UserNotFound > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/02/2014 at 10:58

Okay, time for me to get at this one again. All of these are long shots but at a race like this I think it's possible.

1. Hamilton

2. Ricciardo

3. Alonso

Q. Massa

UserNotFound > Agrajag
09/02/2014 at 11:01

I agree that Alonso's desperation for people to stop asking him when he's going to leave Ferrari will drive him to get on the podium at their home race.

PS9 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/02/2014 at 15:54

But dat 'shop doe

Diesel > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/03/2014 at 16:42

I hate this game.

1. Vettel

2. Ricciardo

3. Massa

Q. Vettel

The Tunnel > MFEJAL grey because who knows...
09/03/2014 at 16:43

Kinja'd!!!

This sucker must crash.

The Tunnel > MFEJAL grey because who knows...
09/03/2014 at 16:45

HAHA wise words man, I don't understand how his fans are blinded by the facts. Hamilton with a 100% good running car will defeat Rosberg every time.

ncasolowork2 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/04/2014 at 10:44

Q: Bottas

1: Bottas

2: Hamilton

3: Massa

I believe Williams will have the fastest car in the speed traps. That'll matter this week.

ncasolowork2 > UserNotFound
09/04/2014 at 10:47

Only if the engine has the power to make it happen or if it rains. One of those things is not true. The other could happen. Red Bull did a good job with their low downforce car at Spa. In case you missed it though Mercedes was almost as fast with a LOT more wing on their car. Mercedes won't have that much wing on their car this week and neither will Williams. Red Bull will go back to being fastest of the rest and Ferrari will be very slow. I'd be shocked if they make Q3. I think this will be more Bahrain than Bahrain was and all 8 Mercedes cars were in the top 8 at one point in that race.

ncasolowork2 > XJDano
09/04/2014 at 10:48

I'll share a little bit about this track with you. It is the fastest track on the schedule by far. Teams will be cutting their wings off as much as possible to reduce downforce as much as possible. That means the team with the fastest car in a straight line should do well here. I'll let you in on a secret. The ferrari is 15mph slower in a straight line than the 4 Mercedes teams and Renault isn't much better. There are a number of tracks left on the schedule that will make things more competitive. This is not one of those tracks.

lightsout565 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/04/2014 at 11:15

This BBC intro video was posted in r/formula1 (great community btw). Gives me goosebumps.

Gated Manual > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/04/2014 at 11:28

1. HAM

2. ROS

3. RIC

Q. HAM

Party_in_the_USA > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/04/2014 at 11:37

How many times does this need bumped?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Party_in_the_USA
09/04/2014 at 11:44

I do it once a day in the week leading up to the race as it's a competition. But if you have other ideas, please feel free to throw them out there.

Fred (FreddsterExprs) > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/05/2014 at 08:26

1. Lewis Hamilton

2. Nico Rosberg

3. Kevin Magnussen

Q: Rosberg

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/05/2014 at 10:20

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Räikkönen

Q. Hamilton

No curse.

vorspringing > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/05/2014 at 11:29

1. Hamilton

2. Alonso

3. Bottas

Q. Rosberg

No curse this week

KnowsAboutCars > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/05/2014 at 11:29

1. Hamilton

2. Rosberg

3. Bottas

Q. Rosberg

Hamilton will not let Rosberg win this race.

PushToStart > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/05/2014 at 13:24

Q. Lewis

1. Lewis

2. Nico

3. Fernando

JEM > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/05/2014 at 13:34

Going out on a limb here...

1: Rosberg

2: Ricciardo

3: Alonso

Q: Hamilton

Yes, I'm betting Hamilton's bad luck continues. Not wishing it upon him, just straight up Kenny Roger's gambling.

For Sweden > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/05/2014 at 14:45

Ahh, the Watkins Glen of Europe

1. Rosberg

2. Hamilton

3. Alonso

Q. Rosberg

I3theV6Turbos > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/06/2014 at 00:45

1. BOT

2. ALO

3. RAI

This is a lot of wishful thinking as a tifosi. But I like Bottas, so I'll pick him for first. (if this 1-2-3 actually happens, i'm gonna shit me pants!) [over-under on when the merc breaks fail???]

pirates-ecu > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
09/06/2014 at 00:48

1. ham sandwich- if fucking rat face can drive like an adult this week.
2. nico, I'm a damn dirty cheating piece of shit roseberg.
3. Daniel . .. i don't need no toothpaste Riccardo

quali - lewis

btw since im in the top ten, can i get a follow please arch.... thank you

being in the grays suck