On Depression, and Why Even Successful People Get it

"No, I don't thank you for the fish at all" (notindetroit) 08/24/2014 at 13:53 • Filed to: Depression, Suicide, Celebrities

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For most people, imagining a place so dark and hopeless that suicide seems like a valid option - in fact, perhaps the most valid option - might be incomprehensible. Depression turns that on its head, and even a life full of fame and fortune can suddenly look like a hellish nightmare. The mechanisms and reasoning behind depression is, at best, extremely poorly understood by the reporting media and even many experts professed to specialize in depression-related medicine and it may very well be the most misunderstood disease in the medical books.

Imagine feeling trapped. It can be any social or even private moment. You can be sitting in a familiar class surrounded by familiar faces without one ounce of social claustrophobia, and then all of a sudden you start to question why you're here. The feeling of being trapped can take many forms - maybe you've suddenly saw yourself frozen in a never-ending cycle that you want to escape from. In that instance, suicide seems like a painfully obvious means to break free from that cycle.

Depression and suicidal thoughts go beyond feeling powerless against the wrongs and ills of the world. At it's core, it's about feeling powerless against the wrongs and ills surrounding your own life - whatever's external to that can pile up, but it's all centered around how it effects your own outlook on yourself. Feeling trapped in an unwanted relationship (or no relationship at all), at a dead-end job or something else that leaves your life less than fulfilled can be triggers for varying degrees of depression. When multiple triggers start piling up, the suicide threat becomes very real.

So what is at the core of this endless unbreakable cycle? In many ways, depression is often the extreme form of anxiety. The future is an unknown variable, and for many people that unknown is too frightening and scary to comprehend. For other people, the future is a certainty - and whatever that future is, it's going to be worse than the current status quo. A sudden realization, for example, that your college major or advanced placement classes in high school, or your current job situation or personal relationships are vastly misplaced and mismatched with you, and you feel so deep into it that you're unsure of how to get yourself out. That these mismatches are so volatile that you know on a fundamental level that you need to escape from them - perhaps you know staying trapped in this cycle brings potential harm to others or yourself in some form, maybe a form you don't understand or have a vague awareness of, but it's an understanding you can't shake your mind off of. A future certain to be filled with discomfort and misery can make dying in relative comfort by your own hand an attractive option. It becomes a strange paradox that ending your life needs to be done to save yourself or others from harm - but it's a paradox that makes all the sense in the world at that moment.

Yet, there is a cause for nearly all forms of depression (and mental illness, for that matter). It can be something as fundamental as a genetically predisposed chemical imbalance. It can be the result of both nature and nurture: inherited attitudes, or becoming tired and disillusioned of them; a belief (misplaced or not) that something better is deserved, but at the same time out of reach; or simply being tired of a daily routine that seems to stretch out forever. Nailing down the exact cause is different from being able to cure it, however - in some cases, institutionalization and separation from society may be the best option to keep that individual and others safe. But in most cases of depression and mental illness that end with violent results, the warning signs and recommended treatment usually go ignored. It boils down to a lack of resources and a lack of understanding, but with a slew of high-profile mass killings and suicides in the past few years, it's finally becoming a greater priority. Time will tell if that priority sticks.

So what about Robin Williams, one of the most beloved and successful comedians of modern entertainment? I know nothing of him and I have no involvement with his case whatsoever. However, all the success and fame and adoration does not make one invulnerable to feelings of depression. Fame and fortune cannot chase away monotony - in face, in its own ways it can help reinforce it. One can still feel powerless and helpless with a vast fortune - in fact, spending and spending your way to happiness with no measurable results can often only reinforce that helplessness. You feel like you should be a very powerful individual - but the empirical results you're getting very strongly suggest you're not.

Perhaps one day medical science and psychiatric understanding may make depression and suicide a thing of the past, but in the meantime a strong support system is necessary.Having the wrong kind of support system is often worse than none at all - family members who don't believe in depression, or have a very !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! outlook on psychiatric medical practices can only drive loved ones further towards suicide through mistreatment or even outright abuse. Yes, the people who have these attitudes not only exist, but exist in large number and in influential positions, who think that mental illness is trumped up to justify jobs and government grants and even go so far as to claim proven mental diseases such as PTSD are a thinly veiled sham. These attitudes are causing great harm in society by actively impeding advancement and understanding of depression and psychiatric care. Building up a support network for individuals - or surrounding yourself with one - is a vital step towards understanding your own depression. In extreme cases, it may even mean completely cutting off and divorcing yourself from ineffective or harmful "support" networks (including literal divorce) and finding a better network of new individuals, building up a new family. We can't choose who we're born to - but we certainly as hell can choose our own families.

Maybe one day these unhealthy, backwards attitudes towards mental health will disappear too, along with entrenched attitudes about racism, bigotry and religious/ethnic intolerance. For people suffering with depression, the road to recovery can seem as daunting as the road to any one of those societal goals. It's important to understand that the mental suffering of these people is real, and so is their helplessness. It's not just a matter of making access to professional help easy - it needs to be inviting and non-threatening as well. Anxiety and discomfort are core roots of depression, and making depression sufferers feel invited can go a long way as a first step towards finally conquering those demons.

Topshit from West Side Today.com

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 08/24/2014 at 14:06

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That was a VERY well written article about these/this issue, I'd just like to add something; Tons of people claim that suicide is the cowardly way out, that it only hurt the people you love and that people who commit suicide are egocentric. Sure, you COULD say that, or you could try to understand why people simply can't cope with life anymore. Telling someone who's contemplating suicide that he/she is egocentric won't help them at all, especially since most people use the word egocentric when what they ACTUALLY mean is narcissisic (there is a huge difference, if you don't know it you should read about it).

TL:DR, do NOT TELL a severly depressed person that there are people who care, SHOW him/her that you do, and SHOW him/her that things can be better. Do NOT belittle how they feel..

DipodomysDeserti > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 08/24/2014 at 14:17

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I just watched the Louis C.K. episode Robin Williams was in. Very eerie and foretelling.

Svend > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 08/24/2014 at 14:24

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Depression is something you never really get cured from, merely learn how to keep it under control.

I've had depression since I was an early teen. I've cut, stabbed and overdosed. It's strange to think that those moments when you feel like your about to die are the most relaxing . I've been counselled, medicated and spent a little time away from family.

Depression is one of the hardest things to spot as people with it often go about their day to day business and try hard to hide it from people for fear in some respects of being seen as a peria or less than normal or even a burden that then adds to the feeling of self loathing.

Living with depression it's the loneliest life I've ever come across and doesn't help.

I try to live one day at a time and if I make it through the day okay, then that's one point to me. The best way I can put it is most people for the best part have a fear of death/fear of life about 98/02% where we have it about 49/51% and trying to keep that balance in the latter is the hardest thing we'll ever do which means other things in life suffer as we spend so much time merely trying to keep going I like detailing cars as for those eight hours I'm not thinking, I'm just doing, solving problems of scratches, marring, swirls, defects, stains, etc... if I didn't have that I'd of probably of been dead a long time ago.

I still have moments where I want to just burst out crying. I know there's no shame in crying just not at work or shortly after having finished work.

I know it's hard for others to see it in people as we do such a job in hiding it so can't blame others for not doing anything to stop or help, just try to be aware of changes in people, don't necessarily ask what's wrong but do something like suggest a walk or something you can do together that would offer them an opportunity to open up if they wish.

Atomic Buffalo > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 08/24/2014 at 14:29

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And please don't keep telling a depressed person to "cheer up" or "stop focusing on the negative."

They may be hearing "it's your fault that you're depressed" and "the only person who can fix your depression is you."

McChiken116 - Patrick H. > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 08/24/2014 at 14:34

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I've been dealing with depression since I was 7. There is no Getting over it, or just cheering up. And that's the one hardest thing to explain to people. Telling people "My body and brain won't let me get up today" just seems like a dumb excuse

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Svend 08/24/2014 at 14:36

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I don't think I could've put it better if I tried. Proper good way of putting it.

Svend > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh 08/24/2014 at 14:43

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I try to laugh at things now that I've done in the past, probably because I'm British and that's what we do, if we laugh at it we can't be afraid of it. Hence why we had all those songs during WWII about Hitler only having one ball (testicle).

If you don't know one, here's one.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Svend 08/24/2014 at 14:48

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I've been in love with the UK since I was a little lad, I've seen that more times than I can count, and I'm laughing me buttocks of every time. :)

AM3R > Svend 08/24/2014 at 14:50

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Haha! My brother is a bit of a history fanatic and he used to always show me songs like this! Oh man listening to this brings back memories.

Svend > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh 08/24/2014 at 14:51

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It's something we all carry in use, just laugh it off and carry on, though sometimes it needs to be address even in part.

The 'Keep calm and carry on' was never actually used during the war, it was meant to be used if German had taken us over.

elisethestrange > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh 08/24/2014 at 16:00

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One thing that the "suicide is cowardly/selfish" people thing don't get is that a suicidal person often thinks people are better off without them and they're doing everyone a favor. And oddly, suicidal people often feel like cowards for NOT going through with it, because killing oneself is still kinda scary. (Source: personal experience)

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > elisethestrange 08/24/2014 at 16:05

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You're so right, oh so right. I never would've written what I did if I did not speak from personal experience. In my head I "KNOW" people would be better of without me, but I've still got that nagging thought that some people need me.

JACU - I've got bonifides. > Svend 08/25/2014 at 02:03

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I feel for you.

Stef Schrader > No, I don't thank you for the fish at all 08/25/2014 at 18:12

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I've been depressed before. Nothing absolutely terrifies me as much as being back in that state again.

Svend > JACU - I've got bonifides. 08/25/2014 at 18:51

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Cheers mate. It's just part of who I am but not who I am.