Being a car enthusiast in a country, that would rather get on the bus.

"SDKR" (sdkr) 08/14/2014 at 20:20 • Filed to: None

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Hello Oppo. If people are interested in my tales and shouting at cars from the euro landmass, i intend to post some in the future, consider this my welcome post. Normally i write reviews about computer components for a local internet publication, but not much happens in the world of graphic cards anymore and honestly cars are much more interesting.

So i live in Denmark, the country that prefers you spend your time in public transport, and actively tries to force you to do so. As we know everyone loves hearing about some girls yeast infection, while waiting for the train. It's equally lovely to catch a cold from the smelly dude sitting next to you. To top that off public transport is always late.

The alternative is of course to acquire an automobile, now there is two problems with that. One petrol is $8.16 pr. US gallon and that's expensive. Two cars have a 105-180% registration tax on them, add on to that a sales tax of 25%, an emissions / owners tax, and all of a sudden pneumonia and the train sounds like a great idea!

To put it into perspective, let's compare prices with the UK. There a Golf 1.4 liter with 122 HP and 5 doors will cost you 26.377 dollars, the same car is 53.849 dollars in Denmark with less equipment… Great! Or what about a Ferrari 458 at just 763.000 dollars. Exiting cars then are rare here, the best selling car currently is the VW Up! Sporting 60 Hp it's a tad more exciting than morning bowel movements. Okay so the Up! is actually the best microcar out there, but it doesn't do much for most car enthusiasts.

So what do you end up driving, in this country of car depression? Well in my case a Toyota Carina E. If you are American this car will be unknown to you, but imagine a Camry with less power, or even better here is a picture.

Note the pictured car has tasteful aftermarket hubcaps.

Fascinating right? Under the "hood" lies a 1.6 liter 116 hp engine that will undoubtedly last longer than Stonehenge, but isn't nearly as interesting. This engine is so un-powerful that aircon wasn't even an option, nor was an automatic which, to be fair, is actually a good thing. It is so boring, that Clarkson once drove one straight into a concrete pillar, on purpose.

This then is just another dreary 90'ies shape, an a to b form of transport. That said as a car you can't possibly fault it. In 20 years it has never broken down, only once when the original battery died didn't it start. For average John down the street it's perfect. As a car enthusiast however, you will quickly notice the ridiculous body roll, almost throwing you out of the seat during any sort of spirited driving. The lack of a rev-counter also becomes apparent, when you notice that the promised 116 hp is only available, when the engine noise starts to make your ears bleed. Due to it's reliability though the Toyota is likeable, it's a trusty old friend and even though boring, it's always there.

To kill the last hope of car enthusiasts, it is illegal to tune a car more than 20% above standard horsepower, also turbos and superchargers are not allowed, unless fitted from factory. And to kill it off, if you do decide to drive your car into Copenhagen, parking is 2-6 dollars an hour.

So cars are expensive to buy, drive, own and park. This explains why seeing a relatively cheap Toyota GT 86 (FR-S) is very rare indeed. It also explains why bicycles are so popular, and it's not because we are trying to save the planet, although everyone else seems to think so. So while american car enthusiasts are complaining about the 25 year rule, i'm barely allowed to fit an aftermarket air filter. Hopefully everyone else understands how good they have it, after reading this.

To work around the enormous taxes, Car enthusiasts tend to drive older sports or cheap micro cars. Most people trade traditional high power and rear wheel drive, for front wheel drive 100hp hoonage. But as we know from Top Gear, small cars can be fun to drive.

I've just driven the new Toyota Aygo and while it isn't a very good car overall, it is hilarious to rev the 0.9 liter 3-cylinder engine, until the valves pop out. It really drives like a big go kart, especially around tight corners and empty city streets.

That said the car completely gives up at 40 MPH, where only 69 horsepower is insufficient, then it goes back to feeling like soggy eco salad. 0-60 takes 14.3 seconds and any acceleration, is accompanied by what sounds and feels like, a brick being tossed around in the engine bay. It does get 62 mpg, and was the best selling car here for 3 years, until the even slower (but better) VW Up! was launched.

So you may, or may not, be wondering, how do you become a car enthusiast surrounded by rather boring cars? Well i really don't remember why i liked cars, i just did. What i do remember, is the first time i saw a picture of this.

It's still the prettiest thing i've ever seen, and exemplifies how a car can be more than just transportation. As art it's more beautiful than the Mona Lisa, and i've seen her at the Louvre. In its time it was one of the fastest cars in the world. The handling is praised by everyone who's ever driven one, and the noise emanating from the exhaust rivals Ludovico Einaudi on his best days.

In the eyes of average John, a GTO is terrible as a car, there is no rear seats, the trunk is full of spare tire and don't mention miles per gallon. But in the eyes of an enthusiast, in my eyes, that 880 kg (1,940 lb) lump of metal is damn near perfect. It is sad then that like supermodels, chances are practically zero, that you will ever get to take one for a spin. But at least we get to look.

Photo credits:
Toyota Carina E: By Rudolf Stricker (Own work) [GFDL ( !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! or CC-BY-SA-3.0 ( !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ], via Wikimedia Commons

Toyota Aygo: "2014-03-04 Geneva Motor Show 1468" by Norbert Aepli, Switzerland (User:Noebu) - Own work. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons - !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Ferrari 250 GTO: By J.Smith831 (Ferrari 250 GTO) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 ( !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ], via Wikimedia Commons

(My real name is Emil, I review IT for a small internet publication in Denmark. Trying to hone my english skills and get into car journalism, i've decided to write about anything car related here on Oppo, so some friendly feedback is always welcome)

Jonathan Harper > SDKR 08/14/2014 at 20:22

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This is quite, interesting.

Mark - Sixpots None The Richer > SDKR 08/15/2014 at 08:40

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Welcome to Oppo and greetings from Germany. I know it's a huge difference to Denmark, but when I look at posts from US Opponauts I'm also frustrated about my choices as an enthusiast over here. This has more to do with my income than the taxes, but still. It's ridiculous how cheap car-ownership in the US is compared to Old Europe.

I was born in Flensburg and lived close to the border for two decades of my life. So I was one of those Germans who regularly occupied the Danish North Sea shore during the summer. Sorry for the stereotype, but Rød pølse therefore tastes like childhood...

Here is a thought: Danish citizens are - if you were to believe the polls - among the happiest people in the world.

Does this mean we all have to suck out the fun in cars to be more social and fortunate? Is it worth it? ;-)

Looking forward to more of your posts!

thebigbossyboss > SDKR 08/21/2014 at 18:58

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"It is so boring, that Clarkson once drove one straight into a concrete pillar, on purpose."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh my goodness. That's is the best review line of any car to date!!!

Welcome to Oppo!!!

I am sorry Denmark hates car so much but this was an excellent review.

I always thought Denmark would be a fund place to drive in. Lots of bridges. Guess not.

Conan > SDKR 08/21/2014 at 19:24

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I've definitely heard about your pain quite frequently from my girlfriend, who's also from Denmark. When she's there she shares her Mom's Ford Ka with all of her siblings and her Mom. The premiums you pay for decent cars and housing space seem crazy to an American, but you clearly do quite a few things right in spite of it all. When we compare what we've both paid for college and grad/professional school it evens out quite a bit.

T5Killer > SDKR 08/21/2014 at 19:29

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Great read thanks for posting. Welcome to OPPO! We are really spoiled here in the US being car people.

RallyWrench > SDKR 08/21/2014 at 19:33

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Welcome, good read! But it raises a question: How did you folks make Tom Kristensen, Jan & Kevin Magnussen, Allan Simonsen (may he RIP), and all the other great Danish drivers?

SDKR > RallyWrench 08/22/2014 at 20:42

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GoKarts i think. Tom K grew up in a gas station with a father who amateur raced, and he started by karting. Folkeracing is also popular, James May did it in Finland on TG.
It also helps, that there is no registration tax on racing cars.

SDKR > Conan 08/22/2014 at 21:15

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Jeah im only paying for the books during my education. We pay up to 60% income tax, that goes towards free education and hospitals. I'll just make it clear, that i'm not complaining about that tax though,
Uhh the Ka, i remember driving the old one 0-60 in 15.8 seconds.... Motorway ramps are suddenly much more exiting.

Conan > SDKR 08/22/2014 at 21:47

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Yeah, I think your car tax is ridiculous. It leads to older vehicles which are probably more polluting than the newer ones. Their Ka is old. She said it entered limp mode once. I can't even imagine how slow limp mode in a Ka would be