Question Oppo - What do I do?

"themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles" (themanwithsauce)
08/12/2014 at 21:37 • Filed to: lol

There's a decently cute physical therapist that has the apartment next to mine. We talk from time to time and I've asked her out a while ago but she isn't interested so before anyone suggests it, no that is NOT the answer. Anyways, it turns out she hides her sex bag in my pile of car parts. I went down to the storage area in the basement to do an inventory of my bushings and speakers and wires and whatnot and I see a garbage bag. I thought it was something I filled up with jetta bits and pieces......nope. Dildos, lube, and sexy underwear.

On the one hand, I couldn't care less. I really don't think the items itself are any sort of my business or a problem of any sort. If you don't have a sex bag of things somewhere in your place you're either a liar or not...."of age" yet. So I understand her wanting to hide it if she has parents/friends or whatever who visit often. But at the same time I kinda don't want her keeping it near things that might be covered in oil or metal shavings. So how do I warn her in a um....."tact" way that a pile of automotive parts and tools is NOT the place to keep intimate things unless you are really into pain and trips to the emergency room?

Picture related. If anyone wants a catalytic converter for a 90s golf or jetta with the 2.0 ABA motor, let me know. Or if you are into anal gaping and want a way to one up goatse, have I got just the thing for you!.....No refunds or returns.

DISCUSSION (85)

Manuél Ferrari > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:40

That is hilarious!

I think you should talk to her in person about it, you know, for the lulz

Manuél Ferrari > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:40

Also maybe it's her way of telling you that she's reconsidered your offer to take her out on a date ;)

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:41

This took a turn, this is not what I was expecting this thread to be at all.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:41

put a note on it. just something simple like "please keep your stuff separate from mine as metal shavings and motor oil could damage your belongings"

Put the note on the outside so she could at least entertain the idea that you didn't open it.

Aaron James > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:42

If you bring it up she will either think you are a complete creep and never speak to you again or she will be embarrassed and never speak to you again. I would assume you have specific areas that are for your things and her things, as long as her stuff isn't piled in your "square" I'd ignore it. It's in plastic, it's fine. Edit to Add... Anger that you went through her stuff even though it was innocent on your part.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Manuél Ferrari
08/12/2014 at 21:43

Lol, nah. I'm younger than she is and that's a major turn off for her. She looks younger than I am and I look older than she is though but whatever. She comes forwardto me if she wants to talk so if that was what she wanted, she'd just say it. I do envy any guy she's with because of that - she knows men are dumb and just says it instead of dropping hints lol.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard
08/12/2014 at 21:43

....well it was a garbage bag and I did open it. So she'll obviously know if that's the note i left that I opened it lol.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback
08/12/2014 at 21:44

Can I interest you in a catalytic converter?.....

Manuél Ferrari > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:44

You're probably right. But there's at least a 1% chance it's a sign. You are the man with the sauce, after all!

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Aaron James
08/12/2014 at 21:45

Yeah, I'd be upset if it happened to me even if it is on accident and the other person was 100% neutral about it so that's why I don't want to just be all "HURR DURR KEEP OFF CUR PURTS"

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:46

Maybe if I had a Golf or Jetta with that engine of that period. Or just a car at all...

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback
08/12/2014 at 21:46

It has other uses.

AM3R > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:47

I'd really talk to her about that haha, just make sure she knows that you aren't bringing it up to be weird, and that it's actually a safety concern.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:48

Umm... I'm not into that kind of stuff.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Manuél Ferrari
08/12/2014 at 21:49

I'm the man who gets her fucking equinox unstuck in the winter.....

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback
08/12/2014 at 21:49

Probably good for your own safety.

Group B-raaaaaaaaaap! > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:49

Ooof... this one requires a delicate touch. Or better, no touch at all. The items in the bag sound more like things that should've been boxed. I'd assume this to be more likely lazy housekeeping, and she didn't feel comfortable hauling a bag of naughtybits to the dumpster.

Or, worse yet, it's not hers but another resident's in your building.

Best to treat this like a pair of stray boxers on the locker room floor: move it to the far side of the room with a stick, and never look back.

Aaron James > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:50

Your best bet is just to ignore it, it's not causing you any problems and it's not worth making things uncomfortable.

Manuél Ferrari > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:51

Fact: no girl can resist falling in love with you by the third time you help her with car trouble

Textured Soy Protein > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:51

How did you deduce the owner of the sex bag?

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Aaron James
08/12/2014 at 21:52

yeah, might as well. Hey while you're here, do you want any blaupunkt audio equipment? Any 90s VW engine sensors? How about W-body GM strut bars and control arms?

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!
08/12/2014 at 21:52

My pile is in the corner anyways. I think I'm just going to make it *reeeeeeeeeeeeeeallly* obvious that I moved everything around and that I know that bag is there.

Group B-raaaaaaaaaap! > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:54

LOL, kick it to the side and maybe strategically have a couple of "tips" hanging out. Like a messy room staged for a movie.

MrPseudonym > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:54

Nothing. Do nothing. Say nothing.

Don't ask, don't tell.

[it's a joke guys, get it?]

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Textured Soy Protein
08/12/2014 at 21:56

Ah! Excellent question! Let us run down the logic

A) We "share" a storage room since only two are completed and the two person unit has their own

B) It isn't mine

C) This isn't the first time she put something of hers in my piles o' parts. One time she put some shirts or something on top of a subwoofer box I have and I placed a spare tire on top of it by accident. I'm fine with it since she was the one who bugged our landlord to build the storage rooms and I just want to keep my more expensive stuff in that room for safe keeping.

MountainCommand > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:58

Why not tell her exactly what you told us? It was an honest blunder most of us would probably have done if we found a bag in a pile of our stuff. Considering the fact she is a therapist, the topic of her toys are probably far less worse than any of the awkward conversations she might have at her job.

Who knows, she might have a funny story about it. Forget the whole potentially dating thing, it sounds like these could be clues to something hilarious. Also, is she the ONLY person to have potentially put that stuff in your stuff?

Aaron James > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 21:58

nope, just got done cleaning out a garage and throwing away old cast iron manifolds, driveshafts, and stock suspension parts that no one in their right mind would ever use again. I even tossed a kenwood tape deck with 6 disc changer.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!
08/12/2014 at 21:59

LOL I GOT IT!

I'm going to bring down a pad of paper and tape inventory lists on all my boxes and on her bag I'm just going to write "J, THESE AREN'T CAR PARTS!"

ttyymmnn > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 22:02

Too bad pics don't work any more. I might have posted something.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > MountainCommand
08/12/2014 at 22:02

A) *physical* therapist, not mental

B) Eh, most people have toys and lube and whatnot and I've found/stumbled into/used waaaaaay more interesting things. Girls with dildos is kinda the norm.

C) The only other apartment is a two bedroom and while yes, it is two girls, they also just recently moved out and our new tenants haven't come in yet. They also had their own storage unit and have had a good month of cleaning and moving out. *Maybe* it's theirs but that's unlikely.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > MrPseudonym
08/12/2014 at 22:03

I got it!

Haimatox > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 22:03

Sure it's not yours?

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Haimatox
08/12/2014 at 22:04

Nah, my bag is in my room and my toys are WAY better.

ttyymmnn > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 22:05

B) It isn't mine

Are you sure? Or are you just being coy with us?

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > ttyymmnn
08/12/2014 at 22:06

Wanna find out?

ttyymmnn > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 22:06

/HowAboutNoBear

Agrajag > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 22:07

Put it in a pile of other garbage bags. When you hear her rummaging through them, walk in with her bag and say.

"Hey, I....I found your bag of dildos.... What are you doing?"

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > ttyymmnn
08/12/2014 at 22:08

Well I can take a pictuer of my box if you want. It's just a printer paper box but I hide it in my closet with all the other boxes I haven't unpacked.

Pessimippopotamus > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 22:27

That's her damn fault for keeping things in someone else's stuff.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Pessimippopotamus
08/12/2014 at 22:30

It is, however it is something personal and private and she might have a reason to hide it. Hell if she wants a car-part box to hide it in I can give her one. But this type of thign calls for more tact than just dropping it on her door and saying "KEEP OUT OF MY SHIT!"

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback
08/12/2014 at 22:30

It can be used as some sort of musical instrument if your imagination is broad enough, get out of the gutter.

mXxxxXm24 /O/ /O/ > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 22:32

You set it back in her section of the storage area...with...a new toy wrapped up in a pretty box. Say nothing and wait for her to approach you about it. Maybe she'll be into it...maybe she won't.

Scary__goongala! > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 22:33

its " I couldn't care less"

Why is that all I took from this...im sorry i'll leave now.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > mXxxxXm24 /O/ /O/
08/12/2014 at 22:33

Kinja'd!!!

Gonna go with "nope" on this one.

Pessimippopotamus > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 22:33

Hahaha. That is an interesting conundrum indeed. One way or the other, anything that you do to warn the person will probably inform her that you know what she hid there. I think a simple, innocuous note (one that does not elaborate too much) will do.

I thought of putting the bag in another bag or a box for securing it from oil and shavings, but that'd probably freak the person out even more.

I say note.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
08/12/2014 at 22:34

That'd be an interesting instrument, might cut down on the CO2 being released from my face hole too.

PushToStart > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 22:34

I don't have advice.

But this is the funniest goddamn thing I've read in a while.

shop-teacher > Manuél Ferrari
08/12/2014 at 22:38

It only took two times with my wife. I am the flat tire master!

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > PushToStart
08/12/2014 at 22:39

Thanks, I guess. Hey do you want a repair manual for a 1995 buick riviera?

Manuél Ferrari > shop-teacher
08/12/2014 at 22:39

Haha that is awesome!!

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Scary__goongala!
08/12/2014 at 22:39

WAITWAITWAIT! Before you go, do you need a hand made crank lock tool for an audi inline 5?

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Manuél Ferrari
08/12/2014 at 22:40

False. But she has made me meals as thanks.

Manuél Ferrari > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 22:41

At least that's something! Home cooked meals are the best.

One thing that's for sure is I can't help but fall in love with a girl if she cooks me at least 3 good meals, haha

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Manuél Ferrari
08/12/2014 at 22:43

You all have low standards lol. But weirdly enough I have been the cook in my past two relationships.

Scary__goongala! > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 22:43

this is an automated response. the person you are trying to reach "ScaryMageenis" is either not available or somewhere near the bottom of a whiskey bottle. if you wish to leave a message, please push the # key. Goodbye.

Manuél Ferrari > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 22:44

Haha. That's usually the case with me too. Most girls round here can't cook. That's why if they can it's such a big deal, lol

mXxxxXm24 /O/ /O/ > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 22:45

Haha your loss.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Scary__goongala!
08/12/2014 at 22:46

POUND!

ONE!

STOP!

WaitsircanIinterestyouinabuickrivierarepairmanualfrom1995!

Crest > Manuél Ferrari
08/12/2014 at 22:49

At that point you're so deep in the friendzone, there is no hope of recovery for you

Manuél Ferrari > Crest
08/12/2014 at 22:51

LOL

MountainCommand > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 22:53

woops, missed the physical part! my b'. Well, still, if she's more along the lines of a doctor, im sure she's still gotten some odd questions or talked about some strange topics. If youre both mature, and if what you say about it being the norm, then it should be no problem telling her exactly what happened, and you are just looking out for the well being of her and her stuff. Nothing wrong imo with telling her exactly what you said. Unless you plan on still having hope to ask her out another day. But you seem to be past that

I guess you could just make her a box and leave a note on it telling her to use that.

thats all my opinion though. Do whatever you feel comfortable doing.

Scary__goongala! > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 22:54

...how about a free set of rpf1's for my miata, you got any of those?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback
08/12/2014 at 22:57

The thing I always wonder about cutting down on CO2 emissions, is that trees live off CO2 to produce oxygen, or was elementary school all a lie?

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
08/12/2014 at 22:59

According to my Biology class last year, plants take in CO2, water, and light and create glucose and O2, so yes you're correct.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback
08/12/2014 at 23:01

So basically the greenies want us to kill trees.

PushToStart > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 23:01

uh...

i'll have to pass on that one

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > PushToStart
08/12/2014 at 23:02

Damn.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
08/12/2014 at 23:02

Yeah, their agenda is all screwy, HYBRIDS KILL THE ENVIRONMENT, V12'S FOR EVERYBODY!!!!!

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Scary__goongala!
08/12/2014 at 23:02

............yeeeeessssss......hold on a second......I think there are some miatas downtown Imeanummmmmmmmm.....in the back.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback
08/12/2014 at 23:04

Fuck that, rolling coal produces more CO2.

Scary__goongala! > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 23:04

themanwithsauce needs to be themanwithfreemiataparts

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
08/12/2014 at 23:04

Yeah, but that just makes you look like a dick, a V12 is cooler and sounds better.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > MountainCommand
08/12/2014 at 23:05

I'll describe my chance with her the way I described someone else - I'd say that ship sailed a while ago but that implies there was a ship in the port to begin with. But yeah, we'll see. Geeze I go away for 5 days and I come back to dildos and lube. Not quite how I pictured today lol.

MountainCommand > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 23:09

Yeah, thats what i kinda assumed. So in that case, you shouldnt care what she thinks about you for attempting to help her.

Im sure you had a good laugh when you stumbled across the goods. I probably would have posted it everywhere myself. haha.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > MountainCommand
08/12/2014 at 23:14

Well it is pretty rude especially if some of those were gifts or she has certain memories associated with them to just throw them away or chuck the bag around and it isn't my stuff to begin with. Oh and we share walls and live next to each other so being a duckhead is not the best idea I could have. But I laughed so hard when I opened the bag and the first thing that greeted me was a big purple dildo. Replace the world "idea" in this clip with "bag" and that is exactly what went through my head. Voice included.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback
08/12/2014 at 23:14

You can't deny that this sounds awesome:

and this is awesome:

Group B-raaaaaaaaaap! > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 23:17

Nailed it!

MountainCommand > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/12/2014 at 23:29

You gotta remember, she shoved her stuff into your belongings.... One should reasonably expect that you might, at some point, be back to get some of your stuff. I mean you wouldnt throw it away, or trash it. Just saying get her a nice box, and place it there out of the debris from the car parts.

That clip works perfect hahah. Well, good luck with whatever option you end up choosing.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/13/2014 at 00:08

she'll know, but this way she can pretend you didn't open it.

I doubt she'll confront you about it as it was with your stuff.

Also, whats the chance it's not hers either?

ZDMW > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/13/2014 at 00:10

First of this is one of the funniest things I have read here in a while.

As for what to do; I would go with the straight forward approach. Tell her you were going though your car parts and found a bag of "personal effects", and keeping them in a pile of dirty car parts is probably not the best place for them. Trying to hide the fact that you found them is much more awkward than just being forward about it. As long as the both of you are more or less adults then it will be nothing more than a funny story.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard
08/13/2014 at 01:22

Low. There is a slim, outside chance that it was the personal effects of the other tennants in the only other unit in the house but they have their own storage unit and moved out. Actually the body types of the other two girls and the one next to me are quite different but finding that info out crosses way more lines than I'm comfortable with.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > ZDMW
08/13/2014 at 01:27

Well the parts I had were all in boxes and whatnot but at the same time I make no promises that the boxes are clean. As I said to another comment on here I have empty boxes if she needs a hiding spot since technically she fought for our storage unit to be finished since the other unit got theirs pretty quickly but ours we have to both share and had to wait on. I'm just going to ignore it unless I see something egregious. Like if i see clothing or toys in contact with the parts and boxes, I'll be direct because that's both rude and gross. Much more for her than me since I can hose down anything with brake cleaner and call it good. For her? Wellllll......"Metal shaving in vagina" is probably not the best diagnosis in the world.

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/13/2014 at 01:38

fair enough. I still say go with a discreet note on the bag itself.

I myself would bring it up and make her feel really awkward and embarrassed.... but I have no shame.

...in fact a similar thing happened when a housemate of mine hid her bag under my bed when she moved out because her family was helping her move.

I found it a few days later I remember it had this purple double ended one that was as long as my forearm..

I emptied the bag onto the floor and sent a picture to her saying "I'm 12 and what is this? I found it under my bed, I'll be leaving it in a backpack near the backdoor (huehue)"

The only mention she made of it was "IT'S NOT FOR ANAL I SWEAR"

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard
08/13/2014 at 01:41

I am normally an asshole, but she is a pretty decent person overall and probably has no qualms about delivering a swift kick if I cross the wrong line. She doesn't deserve the "asshat" treatment but this was just too funny of a story not to share. "Ican't seem to find those brake pads....maybe they're in this ba- DILDOS?............Huh.......This bag is dildos."

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
08/13/2014 at 01:50

haha yeah, I was no fan of my housemate so I didn't care. I'd completely forgotten about it until just now.