eBay Find of The Day: Double Shot, ed.

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko) 08/11/2014 at 12:33 • Filed to: ebay

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1974 Fiat Abarth 1000 TC, 1,000 cc 4 cylinder, 84,150 miles, manual trans, in no sleep 'till Brooklyn, New York. !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

In 1994 this car was completely modified to an Abarth 1000 TC

Ryan Gosling, your car is ready.

Brian Silvestro > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/11/2014 at 12:39

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Man, I was just looking at an E30 M3 on Craigslist for $25k, and I think I'd rather have that.

Sn210 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/11/2014 at 12:40

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that looks like fun

Alfalfa > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/11/2014 at 12:48

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I think I need this.

GhostZ > Brian Silvestro 08/11/2014 at 12:50

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Why? Just so you can be another "I use Keurig cups because I'm better than Starbucks idiots" middle-managing "I need something fun, but it still has to be a BMW" lemming jumping on the jockstrap of rising prices and sudden awareness and hype, forever looking for more and more approval from your autocross buddies and you can take pictures of "your baby" to post here so you can jerk off to the number of recommendations you receive?

No. No. Get off your "I wanna be loved" high horse, stop worrying about 0-60 times and traffic safety, throw your dammned Keurig machine in the trash and fly a Cessna to Colombia to hand-pick your own fucking beans. Smash them under the blade you used to fight off a tiger in Somalia before hand-straining the brew.

And as you stare at the sunrise over the Apennines, drink the best cup of coffee created by man , and then buy this goddamn Abarth.

Brian Silvestro > GhostZ 08/11/2014 at 12:52

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This is like the best comment ever.

SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O) > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/11/2014 at 12:53

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I NEED THIS. I NEED THIS MORE THAN I NEED OXYGEN.

Big Daddy Handsome > GhostZ 08/11/2014 at 12:56

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Wow. Masterfully done.

Party-vi > GhostZ 08/11/2014 at 12:58

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One problem - it's not a goddamn Abarth . It's a Fiat 600 with Abarth parts slapped together by someone with half a brain. This is like putting a 427 in a Camaro and calling it a ZL1. This is the very definition of the Keurig coffee crowd - buying it for looks to say you have a Keurig and drinking dark water that has no soul, just the look of real coffee. Fuck this car - it's a pretender.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/11/2014 at 12:59

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I wish the Fiat 500 still looked like this. Rear engine with a hood that doesn't close!

Party-vi > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/11/2014 at 12:59

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THIS IS NOT A FUCKING ABARTH!!!!! This is a tired old Fiat 600 that was hacked up and painted in 1994 to pretend to be an Abarth. This is the 6cyl-turned-Boss 351 Mustang of the Fiat world. It's a pretender that deserves no bids.

Jayhawk Jake > Brian Silvestro 08/11/2014 at 13:02

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COTF. Comment of the forever.

GhostZ > Party-vi 08/11/2014 at 13:02

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Sssh. Quiet you. You'll ruin the moment.

With those looks, that 1000cc engine, and that level of uniqueness, it doesn't matter if it's original or not. Rolling, as is, it's still awesome. Not worth as much as a "true" abarth, but it's got all of the parts that make a real abarth what it is, prestige aside. It's true to the spirit of individualistic insanity, and that's my point.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > GhostZ 08/11/2014 at 13:03

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WOW!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Party-vi 08/11/2014 at 13:04

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It looks like they did more than hack it up and paint it.

PS9 > Party-vi 08/11/2014 at 13:05

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Aww man why you gotta be like dat...

Party-vi > GhostZ 08/11/2014 at 13:07

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This is the equivalent of getting your Columbian coffee at Starbucks and then Instagramming a picture of your cup to your friends. Looks Columbian, sounds Columbian, and everyone's impressed but it's just prepackaged from god-knows where and sold to poor slobs who've never tasted the real thing.

I've got a Pontiac Le Mans with GTO badging - would you mine paying $80,000 for it? C'mon, it's got all the right parts...

Party-vi > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/11/2014 at 13:07

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Regardless of the extra work it's a fake. I detest it greatly.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Party-vi 08/11/2014 at 13:09

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I don't hate it.

Party-vi > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 08/11/2014 at 13:10

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You're dead to me. YOU HEAR ME??? DEAD!!!!

*drives off in 325i with M3 badging

GhostZ > Party-vi 08/11/2014 at 13:15

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I think you, again, completely missed the point. Just because this car is not 'genuine' and 'original' doesn't make it any less awesome of a machine.

That's like saying I have a 1200HP 1968 Mustang 428 Cobra Jet with a blow-through turbo setup on carburetors, but it isn't actually a Mustang Cobra 428 and started life as actually just a regular Mustang with a 302.

It doesn't matter, it's a 1200HP drag racer with a blow-through turbo!

Likewise, original or not, this is still an insane looking dangerous piece of 60s engineering that is just as likely to be too slow to be safe in traffic as it is to be too fast to control when you gun it, and equally fun to drive. It's wholly different from everything else, partially because it's not original. That's what counts. "original" or "authentic" doesn't matter. The guy who goes off and finds an "original" Abarth 1000 just to say it's original and drive it as a collector's piece, is way worse than the guy who builds something equally insane and drives it because he loves it. He gets his beans from Colombia because that's the only way to get beans of that particular quality, and he'll do anything to have that life experience, not because he wants to say he's got Colombian beans.

It's about doing something that feels awesome that no one else is, or can, do like that, regardless of what it should or shouldn't be.

Party-vi > GhostZ 08/11/2014 at 13:18

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They aren't out driving this affront to real Abarths everywhere, they're selling it for a profit. And in doing so, someone else hacked up an original Abarth 1000TC. That's too great a price to pay so some jackass with $30k can putt around in this poseur-mobile.

Jeff-God-of-Biscuits > GhostZ 08/11/2014 at 13:45

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pfff, you strain your coffee? Man up, nancy boy.

Nicely done!