"No, I don't thank you for the fish at all" (notindetroit)
08/10/2014 at 23:49 • Filed to: None
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"No, I don't thank you for the fish at all" (notindetroit)
08/10/2014 at 23:49 • Filed to: None | 3
| 10 |
"Your twenties," !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! about emergency response and medicine professionals and what they have to put in to their careers. He notes that it's a common bond between them and people like him, who whether civilian or military have put in not long hours but years into the literal field and spending tireless days and nights often under fire and armed threat. These aren't the only careers to have this in common either; !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! that breaking into the airline industry often means spending weeks at a time away from home in what effectively are de facto deployments.
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I suppose this is becoming one of those truths that Millennials are facing and unquestionably accepting - that in order to build your future, you have to sacrifice your youth. Now, the " !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! " type of guy would probably say that it's been that way for as long as society has existed - that the youth of a person exists to build the foundation of family life, that everything else is to be deferred while building that foundation and reap the rewards of family in your 30s. But it seems that even much of that traditional foundation building itself is being deferred - people aren't even looking or thinking about building families until well into their 30s as their 20s are spent merely trying to establish themselves, or (something that I've seen just as often, or perhaps even more frequently) people are in a hurry to marry themselves off in their early 20s, go off on their careers to bring home money, and then come back and enjoy their rewards. Even !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! that most people in their 20s often go a whole year or longer without sex, implying that relationships and sexual satisfaction simply isn't a priority with the young people anymore as it was once thought to be - or (what I would wager more likely) perhaps financial and "real world" pressures have forced them outside of the priority hierarchy.
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In Japan, they talk about the "lost decade" - whereas the United States experienced relative economic growth in the 90s after the success of Desert Storm and the Clinton years, Japan was in a severe economic recession after their crazy time of the 80s (imagine if everybody was Gordon Gecko, and you get the idea). We've entered not one but two consecutive decades now where it's our turn to experience the lows after the highs - but perhaps it's going beyond just a general shared cultural experience. In the necessity to establish our careers and indeed ourselves, it seems that it's equally necessary to sacrifice a whole decade of our own lives to make that possibility. Little interaction with our family and friends, forget about finding love because you're having a torrid love affair with your job instead, and your favorite hobby is making sure the checks keep coming. But given the increasing life expectancy of the average person, and childbirths occurring more frequently in the middle to late 30s and even 40s, is it something to even care about anymore?
It might sound as if I'm being critical, but the truth is is that I honestly don't know what to make of it. I haven't had a lot of success in "establishing" myself yet so I suppose I'm one to talk, and it can be argued that I've mostly just squandered this otherwise critical period. But what say you Oppo? Is your 20s the make-it or break-it period for the Millennial now? Is it the obligation of every young person during this time to, as Dr. Phil says, to "get real" and put career first and self second? And if you blow it, is there any hope or are you just screwed?
themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
> No, I don't thank you for the fish at all
08/10/2014 at 23:58 |
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As a 24 year old, here is my beef with the world - STOP BLAMING ME FOR THE SHIT YOU CAUSED. That's the problem. Full stop. I hear it every day from people who made the most fucked up life choices that I'm somehow not respectable in their eyes because I don't own a house and am still single. These are people on their third marriage or more, and some of them on their second bankruptcy......but they have a house!
After that, ignore them. Your twenties are what you make of them. No seriously, that's it. If you want to idle around for a few years and do whatever with your life then you can. If you want to buckle down and try and build a sturdy foundation for financial success? You can do that too. Want to strike a balance? Go for it. Anyone who tries to stop you is just pissed that their life got worse the older they got. I never understood "high school is the best time of your life!" being an acceptable phrase in modern society. That isn't a *good* thing, you know.
IDROVEAPICKUPTRUCK
> No, I don't thank you for the fish at all
08/11/2014 at 00:10 |
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This is something I struggle with. I'm 25, I have a great high paying job that allows me to buy cars but.... I work an absurd amount and am away from my house at least 20 days out of each month and normally more like 25. I've worked that last three Christmases and Thanksgivings, and 2 out of 3 new years. I haven't had a girlfriend in two years and haven't seen my parents since October. I'm putting away a lot of money which will undoubtedly make things way easier down the line but I'm starting to wonder if it is worth it.
I'm currently interviewing new jobs that would be in an office so I could see my house every night but... it would still be 80-90 hour weeks and I would have to move to Houston.
Ultimately I don't regret my choices and I think I'm on the right path but there are a lot of times when I envy my friends who work regular 40 hour weeks even if they're not "progressing"
PushToStart
> IDROVEAPICKUPTRUCK
08/11/2014 at 00:14 |
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Shit, 80-90 hour weeks? Do you mind if I ask what your occupation is?
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IDROVEAPICKUPTRUCK
> PushToStart
08/11/2014 at 00:19 |
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Right now I'm an engineer on oil rigs across Texas. While I'm on the rig I work 12+ hour shifts, so that's a minimum of an 84 hour week, but since I'm staying in a trailer next to the rig I don't really ever get away from work. I'm interviewing for investment banking jobs in Houston, which for your first two years, yeah you'll probably average at least 75 hours a week if not more.
gmporschenut also a fan of hondas
> No, I don't thank you for the fish at all
08/11/2014 at 01:12 |
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We've entered a weird phase. After my parents graduated college them and almost everyone they knew moved back to the same area. The same social networks remained.
No my generation does it but actually moves back into their parents homes. Its weird because of the kids I went to high school with and the ones I went to college everybody split and went all over the place. the new norm is being 2 hours + from where you grew up.
i don't know where I'm going with this I think the reason this is more complicated is that the cost of failure seems to be much higher. (school loans etc.). The fear makes 1/2 of 20somethings go nuts, put their careers first. The complete opposite are the ones that don't see the need to grow up so they spend all their 20's fucking off all adult responsibility.
Autofixation
> No, I don't thank you for the fish at all
08/11/2014 at 01:17 |
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I'm 28, dating, but not married. I am working a crap job, but am going back to school in the spring to finish the last two years of my engineering degree. I don't care about when I start a family. I know I'm not going to until I can afford to provide them a decent life.
As far as my generation doing things later or differently, screw the baby boomers. I don't feel obligated to accomplish anything by a certain age. Or accomplish anything I don't want to for that matter. I hate that my generation catches shit for how we are doing things.
Manuél Ferrari
> No, I don't thank you for the fish at all
08/11/2014 at 01:46 |
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The 20s always secretly sucked for most people
I wouldn't trade my current 30s for my 20s if you gave me a free Gallardo
KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs
> No, I don't thank you for the fish at all
08/11/2014 at 08:13 |
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Morning Shift checking in...
So what the olds are saying is that life is actually playing a video game as a speed run with target times. Umm, fuck that.
I'm 27, but I own a house as it was cheaper than renting. But since I've had the same job for four years, I get a bit more leverage in asking for travel or not wanting to travel. I already have a sizeable chunk of change saved for later on. But I don't have a desire to start a family, I just want someone to be a companion with. I don't think that's asking for a whole lot.
My mom was already married for 5 years and pregnant with me by my age in her life. I'm not even dating, mainly because of the crappy social politics that I would have to put up with.
quarterlifecrisis
> No, I don't thank you for the fish at all
08/11/2014 at 11:44 |
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Here's my morning shift response:
I'm 27. Make OK money, or at least I always think it's OK, until I figure out how much of it I don't have, and how much of it I owe other people.
Things "clicked" for me right out of grad school; started dating a lifelong friend in a very serious way, she got accepted to med school, I got a job in my field, making 50% of what some of my fellow grads were making, but it was the Federal government and we were in full on recession mode. Fast forward a few years - I suddenly (and unexpectedly) was not dating the same girl. The plan had alwasys been to move to wherever she got into residency - suddenly this wasn't an issue any more. I started applying for promotions as soon as I was eligible (we've got a thing called Time-in-Grade in the government, I can explain more later). A month after I started applying, I was sitting on 2 offers.
So, I ended up in Durham, NC 2 months after I got the offer. My field is generally populated by middle-aged women, so, I don't have much in common with my coworkers. As luck would have it, I ended up in a fairly unsocial apartment complex too - so, my plan of moving to this wonderful area that's supposed to be full of young professionals (something my home town isn't), didn't quite go as planned. Now, I'm planning on applying for promotions again as soon as I'm eligible at the end of September. I know it's not all about money, but I 1) Need more, and 2) have to get actual management experience under my belt to become attractive to other employers where I can make more.
So, did I throw away this last year - pretty much. One of the things I've measured myself by is the fact that in almost a year here, I still have to drive myself to the airport and pay for parking. I don't know a single person well enough, in my area, to call to either give me a ride to, or pick me up from.
Most of my friends from undergrad all were from the Chicago area, and none of them ever had any thought about working anywhere other than the Chicago area. So they're all sort of living in an extension of college, only with more money. I, on the other hand, never wanted to live there (I'm from central Illinois originally), and have found myself 700 miles from home.
This isn't supposed to sound like a pity party, but just a simple statement that I had to leave what was comfortable to try and set myself up for better things in the future. I don't know what the definition of better is, but....
William Byrd
> No, I don't thank you for the fish at all
08/11/2014 at 11:49 |
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Great post, and a lot of it is true. I'm 37 (I think. You stop counting by your mid 30s) and will say that my 20s were a lot about establishing myself. I worked for a government consulting company in DC for almost ALL of my 20s (the same one actually) and there was a lot of ladder climbing.
However, as a counterpoint. I currently have 3 kids, a mortgage, 2 car payments, an ex-wife who gets way too much money, etc. So I look at someone in their 20s, who could live with their parents for a year or more, and think that they have the world in their palm. What do I mean by that? Certain industries, or at least the ones I am interested in, are a young person's game. Which ones, here you go:
Software development - I have ideas for apps all the time. That's huge money if you can swing it and actually build what you have in your brain. But, even though I have a MS in Information Systems and some tech background, I don't have time. If I could take a year off and not have to worry about bills and the like, I could build what I want to build and make money off it.
Journalism - As some of you know, I'm a writer. It's not my full-time job, but I write for an automotive blog, I spend time on Oppo, I make videos, etc. But if I could take a year off to really help build my name, and the brand I'm writing for, it would be huge. I think I could get a lot done, writing and filming a ton of content. But I can't, I have responsibilities and bills.
My point is that people in their 20s should embrace the simplicity of their lives and take the time to try and do something big. Something that will take a lot of time, but that will either be lucrative or be something they will enjoy. Obviously this doesn't describe everyone in their 20s, I lived in the DC area at 22 and payed rent and a car payment, etc. and a lot of other folks are clearly out on their own. Plus at 22 I didn't have the experience, knowledge, and ideas I have now. But if you are unencumbered, and you can muster up the energy and creativity to try and build something unique and fun, do it.