"This Car Will Get You Pregnant"

"m-b-w loves his SUBAROO" (m-b-w)
08/04/2014 at 22:43 • Filed to: None

Found on my local craigslist.

"Looking for a badass war wagon? A sweet, slow ride down memory lane? Or just looking to get pregnant?

This car is for you. The last three owners of this car got pregnant while using it, and you can too! At 250,000 miles, this four door fertility icon has the moves to get you where you need to go.

From the velcro glovebox, to the sweet smell of crackers and juice, to the sweet vintage tape deck sound, to the recently re-foamed seats, you will be wooed from the moment you sit down. Pop in a tape, we've left you some Merle Haggard and some Velvet Underground cassettes, or listen to a disc from the not 5, but 10 cd changer. Then, enjoy a steamy ride (no, really, its steamy 'cos it needs new freon), cushioned gently on a bed of brand new springs, shocks, and bushings. Feel the steering respond gently to your every input, thanks to its brand new ball joints. As you approach 55mph, tooling around town, you will reach a moment of absolute joy, then look back, and notice the child seat just waiting for you to fill it up.

All reasonable offers will be considered only from the truly awesome. We want this baby to go to a good home."

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