Quality Craigslist Ad

"Nerd-Vol" (Nerd-Vol)
08/03/2014 at 15:14 • Filed to: Craigslist, Mitsubishi

Pretty good write up from my co worker:

Here we have for sale to the highest bidder is one slick sled. A rare off-red Mitsubishi Mirage DE Coupe of 2002 vintage. It is lusciously equipped with a manual transmission, crank windows, finger-actuated door locks, and nifty lever-action mirrors. Everything is designed for top-notch reliability and ease of use.

The engine is somewhat of a high performance contraption. It is equipped with a single overhead camshaft, belt driven with a new belt installed 30k miles ago. Capacity is a whopping 1.5 liters, and delivers a blistering 92 horsepower (when A/C is turned off).

Speaking of A/C, it blows ice cold and has NOT A SINGLE LEAK. Even on the hottest of days here in the Tennessee Valley, I can't turn the knob past two without seeing my own breath.

You will also be pleased to know that in preparation for its sale, I have equipped the factory 14" steel wheels with a fresh set of Prime Well all-season tires. You must feel the grip to believe it. You will also find newer brakes and a brand spankin new battery. I want to make sure that whomever takes ownership of this fine unicorn does not have to put any money into it.

Another noteworthy touch is the Kenwood Excelon car stereo. It is feature-rich, offering such amenities as a CD player, USB for iPod or iPhone, and an auxiliary input for most any other peripheral device. Full crossover and equalization is also built in, and offers a 6 channel 4 volt pre-out for connection to your choice of high quality amplifier. The faceplate of the radio is both removable, and customizable to your favorite frequency in the visible light spectrum. Red. Green. Blue. Or all the above create white, which matches the clean, minimalist instrument panel.

This vehicle has average mileage for its year with 172k on the odometer. It has always been reliable in every sense. Starts, runs, and drives like a champion Clydesdale each and every day. Those needing a reliable and affordable daily driver must stop their shopping now. It's not every day you come across a reliable, well serviced automobile at this price... All while returning a jaw-dropping, ultra-thrifty, 39 MPG on the highway.

That's right.

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DISCUSSION (16)

Ducky > Nerd-Vol
08/03/2014 at 15:18

ive found that running ads like this, while ludicrously entertaining to write and read, put off a lot of people on CL because a lot of people on CL are essentially retarded.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Nerd-Vol
08/03/2014 at 15:21

I didn't know Knoxville was also known as the Tennessee Valley. I thought it was just N. Alabama and S. Tennessee along the Tennessee River.

Nerd-Vol > Ducky
08/03/2014 at 15:21

That's what I told him. All he needs to post is:

Car runs good! AC blows ice cold!

No lowball offers, no trades.

Also his pictures are way too clear and useful.

Nerd-Vol > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
08/03/2014 at 15:23

My co worker has only lived in Knoxville for a year now.

As a 20+ year resident, I have no clue. I think we are in the Valley.

Roadster Man > Nerd-Vol
08/03/2014 at 15:27

I enjoy this more than all those overwrought ads that try to copy the "because racecar" guy. That one guy trying to sell the jeep was kinda funny though.

This would be a great winter beater to bring up north. I'd name it "Dé Mïrage" because it's written on the back.

Roadster Man > Ducky
08/03/2014 at 15:29

Some people need the bullet points or it just does not compute.

oldirtybootz > Ducky
08/03/2014 at 15:36

It certainly appeals to us though. 10/10 would buy.

Jedidiah > Nerd-Vol
08/03/2014 at 15:39

I think we are in the valley too. I've heard this area referred to the valley multiple times throughout my life.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Nerd-Vol
08/03/2014 at 15:40

Just looked it up, and it does a U and goes from Virginia, down to Alabama, and back up to Kentucky. So Knoxville is in it. Sorry about your team.

Nerd-Vol > Roadster Man
08/03/2014 at 15:41

I almost bought it from him, but at the time he wasn't sure if the timing belt had been changed. By the time he confirmed I had already lost interest.

The car is in good shape.

Nerd-Vol > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
08/03/2014 at 16:12

Sorry about your state.

;)

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Nerd-Vol
08/03/2014 at 16:31

Yeah, Florida sucks, I know!

treesmakewater > Nerd-Vol
08/03/2014 at 19:38

my friend had one of these I can only describe it as "foot on the floor and still losing speed up a hill" slow. It does not have a tach so you don't know if you are redlining it. It also had a thing for snapping belts.

Kat Callahan > Nerd-Vol
08/03/2014 at 19:47

How much is he asking? I mean, I won't buy it, obviously, but I'm curious.

Nerd-Vol > Kat Callahan
08/03/2014 at 20:08

$1500

Kat Callahan > Nerd-Vol
08/03/2014 at 20:21

Fair price.