'Performance' Floor Mats - A Review

"VeeKaChu" (VeeKaChu) 07/31/2014 at 10:31 • Filed to: vks garage

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( Note- I accidentally/inadvertently "published" this in a very incomplete state yesterday, so this may look like a re-post; I did delete the other mess,,, SORRY!)

HFP... I was almost two years a Honda driver before I even became aware of the acronym. But even as I'd added 3000-odd dollars worth of aftermarket parts to my own Civic, I'd never been curious to investigate the acronym that I'd seen bandied about on the most popular Honda websites; it mostly came up in the context of body parts, and I wasn't looking at those...

HONDA FACTORY PERFORMANCE- for the Honda enthusiast, the very words should stir the blood, promising- as they implicitly do- officially sanctioned gimcracks and gewgaws for injecting more "tech" into the V-TEC ('yo'.)

Sadly, the truth is not so bright. Sure, there's a website, hfpracing.com, but it's an Ohio-based concern for Christian triathlon fans. I'd always figured Jesus for a MOPAR guy, so no joy there.

Still, one *can* buy HFP parts online, mostly from Honda dealerships, as it appears that the line is proffered as factory-offered trim packages of lips and diffusers and wheels. And yes, these can apparently be had "over the (parts) counter" from your local showroom.

So while I haven't sought those parts out specifically yet, I did have some HFP parts come to me un-unexpectedly, when I ordered some floor mats from one of the many of "JDM-specific" websites.

My first Si was Fiji Blue (the best blue!) but it got douche-wrecked; the next best available option was a black one, which I then decked out in a passel of red chrome trim. If I'd had my druthers, I'd have adorned it in "JPS" black and gold, but as my fair-lady wife controls the note, she also gets a say in external accouterments. Sure, it's a more common combo, but there's that whole "happy wife" consideration to deal with.

So when I saw these, well it seemed an obvious choice, AS I mentioned above, when I ordered them I didn't notice (or care) that they were official HFP parts, so I was a bit taken aback when they arrived. "Performance" floor mats? What-the-fuck-ever will they think of next??

But how do they work? Let's install them and find out, shall we?

( Disclaimer - like the vivacious honey badger, "Honda don't give a shit" what I think or have to say about their products, they flew me nowhere, and fed me bricks of government cheese...)

Before we begin this modification, I must point out that I bear no responsibility or liability if you trash your ride following these guidelines. As always, safety should be our first concern; eye protection is a must, but that's every second of the day anyway. Why would you want shit to get in your eyes *ever*, let alone when you're pimping your ride?

What you'll need- floor mats. Estimated time for modification, one got-damned minute.

Before we begin, lets compare the new parts versus old. In order to get a proper comparo, go ahead and remove the stock mats. Do not poke yourself in the eye during this step. Or ever.

The first thing that stands out with these "performance" mats is the significant reduction in weight; the stock mats are almost twice as heavy as the HFP mats, and as astute Jalops are aware, any weight reduction is immediately auto-synthesized into massive horsepower gains. And "poundfoots" (or do you say "PoundFEET," ya hairy-toed Hobbit...)

So without getting into too technical a discussion about power-to-weight radios, I'm going to guess that these mats will likely add some significant ponies to the mix, and after I discovered that I could also remove the rear headrests (nobody smart sits back there anyway) for even greater weight reduction, I'm definitely ready for my super-legionnaire badges. LAMBO!

Installation was relatively straight-forward; nothing went into my eye.

Not only do these mats increase the car's ARFBP (awesome-ricer-flyby-potential) score, aesthetically they mesh perfectly with the "overall theme of the bike," as Paul Junior would say. And that not just another way of saying they're red- it means I've likely 'hit it out of the park, AGAIN', cliche-wise!

So finally, we come to the most important part of the installation- the "shake-down" test drive. Will the weight-savings translate into more power on the fly? I took it easy at first, wanting to observe the traditional "break-in" period for any newly installed performance mod. It just wouldn't do to agitate the fibers too vigorously right from jump, as they may go in my eye, so I granny-shifted about for a bit, trying to keep my heels in check. But after a bit I couldn't ignore the baser impulses, and decided to see if the "butt dyno" could detect any demonstrable improvement.

The very best indication of an increase in one's ARFBP is how much "butt-hurt" once can inspire in our fellow drivers, and while any other vehicle on the road can become a victim of butt-hurt, there's not a class of driver that get's it's panties in a twist quite like a seeming majority of Pontiac Grand Prix/Am drivers. In the beautiful example below, I couldn't tell you if it's an Grand "AM" or a "Prix"- because honestly I don't give a shit- but boy does he hit the "Butt Hurt" mark like a champ (stay till the end)- job done!

So, these HFP mats do indeed live up to their promise, adding both a touch of class to the theme, as well as enhancing overall vehicle performance, and I'd recommend them wholeheartedly!

( Disclaimer 2 - I gotta admit, I absolutely detest the term "butt dyno".)

MonkeePuzzle > VeeKaChu 07/31/2014 at 12:12

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oh this is pure win! I jsut have standard SI mats in my DX, I have GOT to upgrade!

also... GIMME YOUR SEATS! (sorry, I meant butt dynos, I want your red stitched black fabric butt dynos)

VeeKaChu > MonkeePuzzle 07/31/2014 at 13:14

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What color is your DX? Sadly, these are only available in Hinomaru Red.

MonkeePuzzle > VeeKaChu 07/31/2014 at 13:22

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white, so red goes well :D

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > VeeKaChu 10/10/2014 at 21:00

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ASS DYNO

Kinser > VeeKaChu 12/01/2018 at 01:22

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